my ramblings... just bear with it!

to share something - and not 'picking side'

Thursday, December 13, 2007 | wardah bajrai

not trying to be a politician or what but this clip, first time watched it, felt disgusting and shame (and still feel the same). Once again, not trying to 'picking side' just trying to find the 'truth' by digging alternative resources rather than clinging loyally to mainstream resources..

be the judge!

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SPM invigilator

Monday, December 10, 2007 | wardah bajrai

picturesque view - the view I'd been watching for the past four weeks ... and never bored....

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picking side....

| wardah bajrai

From Anton, " Every story has 3 sides; your side, their side and the truth."
We, no matter what'd happened to us, loved to believe that we were always correct. we neglected the story of others' side for we were afraid of the truth. What Anton said was totally correct. I, for example before this never thought of the other two sides except mine whenever things happened. I chose to believe my story since I'm a person with my own pride. and I believe that this situation did not happen just to me solely; it happened (happens) to everyone too or else Anton won't point it out. If there was never 'our side', we will pick the side that we favoured. and we became biased and most of the time, we misjudged the side that we didn't choose.

Take one example: A 'war' erupted between our best friend with another friend. instead of investigating the truth on what actually had happened, we simply took our best friend's side. ALthough sometimes we knew that we were defending the wrong party, we just didn't care.

and- If we were not taking 'our-own side', we will undeniably choose the side that either we were close to or we were fond to or simply because we didn't know which side to choose and thus blatantly chose the one that 'seemed right'. Many forgot that instead of picking side, we should look for the truth.

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KPM sucks!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007 | wardah bajrai

syibal, syibal, more syibal and the syibal continue!

KPM sucks! reaally222X sucks! if Selangor MB gave brooms to his staffs, KPM staffs should get a bulldozer! bukan setakat sapu, ranapkan je...menyusahkan.. wasting my time and my money! damn! damn!

Got a letter from them saying that I have to attend an JB (BP to JB- more than 100km). Woke up early in the morning, get stuck in the morning traffic, paid RM 50 for petrol and toll and when I reached there, "sorrry, they send you the wrong letter, this interview is for fresh graduates who're still waiting for their posting not for those who want to 'sah jawatan'.. KPM tersalah bagi tu.."

"tersalah bagi?!..tersalah bagi?!" damn, syibal!!

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Maybe I have changed..

Monday, November 12, 2007 | wardah bajrai

We both hurt, (maybe only me)
But we're both (perhaps maybe only me too) trying to move on,
Trying for something,
That might just go wrong,

If theres that feeling still
The passion in our eyes
The love for each other
But why do I hide?

It won't be the same,
It never will,
If it's suppose to happen it'll be true,
it will build

But i can't wait here,
Though you're on my mind,
Though its hard to move on,
But I have to....

My friends said that I have changed, have I? That now, I'm drifting away, am I? Perhaps.....
It's a lie if I say that I don't notice it but honestly I do not know why and how it happens. As far as I know, everyone, sooner or later needs changes and move on. Except, in my case, it comes earlier than I thought. I have the feeling that I could not let myself clinging to the past anymore. Before being pushed aside, I need to push myself away, so that I won't be hurt so much. How selfish I am! Maybe people don't understand me. and I don't blame them as I sometimes failed to understand my own-self either. A friend of mine once said to me,"war, you might want to forget us, but I (we) will never forget you.."- But, how can I forget something which already buried deep inside me?To forget is impossible, all I need is some time and space for me to re-define myself- to know where exactly I belong, and I'm not doing it while smiling. It is hard but have to cope with it. Although my heart bleeds.... a lot...but at least only for now.
Like I said before,"better pushing myself away now rather than being pushed later..."

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A new voter

Saturday, November 10, 2007 | wardah bajrai

I'm not really into politics as I've observed sometimes politics bring more harms than goods, but since for the next election I will be an eligible voter, I think I ought to do some research, so that I will be an informed voter and be ready enough to cast my valuable vote. But the event that took place yesterday (10-11-07) really shook (shake) my confidence toward our system.. When our freedom and right to voice out our opinion and frustration were (are) being stifled, and an initially peaceful rally being provoked, can I really cast my vote with ease?...

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jane austen wannabe...crikey!!!!!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Bought a new book yesterday; " Me and Mr.Darcy". The title and the blurb were quite attractive plus since the first time I watched the-dashing Mr.Darcy played by Colin Firth, I was smitten by his charming demeanor. But this book is rather a disappointment. I felt like I was reading a lame adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. The here and there quotations from the original novel were really disturbing and to certain a extend, annoyed me a lot. If you're thinking of buying this book, I hope the comments from another readers below could change your mind. Please save your $35 for anything else or perhaps other book- A Sophie Kinsella's would do...

-nothing compared to this one-

he very worst

July 31, 2007
By Machinist (Fresno CA)
I read all the Austen prequels, sequels, variations, and based-upons that I come across. I read those set in the past, the present, and even one really odd one set in the future. I know going in that some will be good and some not so good, but even the not so good are generally at least mildly entertaining. Not this one. This is, hands down, the worst. The writing is poor, the plotting is non-existent, and the characters unlikeable and unbelievable. The lead female thinks that the unkempt and pot-bellied "hero" is arrogant and crass. He thinks she is unattractive and b itchy. I think they are both right.

The author spends 3 pages detailing how well the lead female character can "hold her water" midstream as she tries to listen to the lead male talk about her while she is in the restroom. Seriously.
The lead female is supposed to be an educated woman approaching 30. She talks like a particularly obnoxious and ignorant teenager. And her totally classless behavior, especially on a picnic with Darcy, was actually painful. And Darcy!! OMG, the author has managed to take one of the most romantic characters in literature and absolutely ruin him. She manages to turn him into a huge bore and a craven jerk! He bears no resemblance whatsoever to Elizabeth's Mr Darcy. My sympathy to the poor trees that were needlessly sacrificed for this waste of paper.

Jane would be aghast!,
July 21, 2007
By M. Beth Thomas (Central Texas)
Though I believe Jane Austen would be flattered and gracious about receiving such tribute from authors of modern day literature, I also believe she would be quite shocked and embarrassed at just how crass this particular work is. I would even go so far as saying she might call it 'vulgar'. Though it's mild by modern standards I still feel it was unnecessarily excessive in it's harsh language, drinking, bars and 'sassy woman with attitude' injections. It was almost forcing itself to be more 'hip' than those 'old days'. The main character is hardly even a Jane Austen fan. She's simply lusting over a guy in a book who has a sexy lake scene. She doesn't care about the history and the subtleties that Austen used to create amazing characters and why and what they were depicting -- just sexy, brooding Darcy, but not even Mr. Darcy for that matter.

The depiction of Mr. Darcy is merely some strange hunk of a man who is fascinated with the main character, follows her from town to town just to throw pebbles at her window (I can't really picture Darcy doing that), listen to her foul-mouthed, drunken ramblings and eventually bore her.
He just stands by giving her only quizzical looks as she cusses and rants but then finally shows disapproval when she mentions she has a job?? And, this is so modern-day, political correctness. From this point Mr. Darcy becomes some tiresome male-chauvinist and from there on out we resign ourselves that the obvious love interest is a beer-bellied, foul-mouthed compadre of a reporter who is as uninteresting as the female lead.

I didn't read this book expecting great literature. I didn't read the book because I thought it would be a modern-day Pride and Prejudice. I didn't expect it to be written in Jane Austen style or be filled with butterflies and bumblebees, but I did hope it would be in the spirit and heart of how Jane saw the world through a modern (yet gentle) way. Elizabeth Bennett was intelligent and admirable, earning our affection for her character -- the lead in this story is silly, self-absorbed and crude, one could care less about her "I can't find a good man because I want a Mr. Darcy look-a-like" self-pity trip. And, did the author have to put a reference to every pop-culture icon there is known to man throughout the book!!?? What does American Idol have to do with Mr. Darcy?? Also, you can tell she's British (which is wonderful - nothing at all against that). However, although the main character is impressed with herself when she uses British terms instead of American, she still keeps referring to the tour bus as a 'coach', and also responds in conversation with the word "rubbish" without notice. I don't know too many young American women who go around saying "rubbish". This is trivial I know, but it bugged me -- sorry. This book is a light and crass read. It might be good for early 20-something, party-goers who want a tiny touch of romance(except when they find out that the main character doesn't like to party, but her friend does) -- other than that it's not worth the expense. If it's a tribute then it's an angry one.

The author almost seems mad at Austen for creating some guy who looks good in wet clothing. I think it belittles the detailed and complicated structures Austen had created with both Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth's characters. How can a true Austen fan separate those two? Darcy without Elizabeth? They are inseparable in my mind.
One positive thing in the book was the description of the places the main character visits. Possibly the closest I'll get to seeing them myself. That was nice to have.


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Interview untuk naik gaji!

| wardah bajrai

next week ---interview..finally! Possible questions
1) apakah falsafah pendidikan negara
Ans: I tido dlam kelas falsafah..
2) apakah yang anda faham tentang PIpp?
Ans: komen
3) Apkan misi pendidikan Nasional?
Ans: kurang pasti.
4) Macam mana kalau awak fail interview ni?
Ans: Minta dijauhkan (berikan senyuman dan muka yang paling pathetic!)

Gosh...asyik suruh budak wat revision tapi cikgu sendiri pemalas!! wa..!! apa nak jawab ni!

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a valuable break..

Thursday, November 01, 2007 | wardah bajrai

I asked from my pengetua for a day break yesterday. At first, she refused to give as she said the holiday is just around the corner. Then, I gave her my most sympathetic face..still she reluctant to give and she even cited what 'pengarah' said..and after much negotiation, she finally granted me with 1 day break..

Actually, I didn't really have a good reason to ask for a leave, i just wanted a rejunevate myself. A day without anyone at home, a day where i just can laze around.. of course i have school holiday coming up, but I won't be alone at home. So yesterday, it reminded me back of my "hibernate period' -where I was unemployed. if during that time, i was bored but this time around, I felt contented and relieved. I miss my hibernate period. Really do, but life goes on..but perhaps from time to time I will ask for another 'valuable break'...perhaps...

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Friday, October 12, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Kawan..kadang-kadang kite perasan yang kawan kita adalah kawan dunia akhirat..kita rasa kawan kita yang paling baik dan kita berkira yang kita adalah kawan kepada kawan kita yang terbaik..tapi kita mudah perasan...dan bila angin realiti mula menampar2 pipi kita, baru kita tersentak..kawan bukan adik beradik..yang walau dicincang tak kan putus..kawan is merely a person we make a relationship with, a fragile one..and bila kita berpisah..kita lupa kawan kita..kawan kita lupa kita..janji2 untuk "frienship forever'hanya lipstik di bibir yang akan hilang tanpa di lap p0n..kita mula buat kawan baru..kawan lama kita tetap ingat but not all the time la..kita sometimes..dilupakan dan sengaja melupakan..that's life..

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Wednesday, September 12, 2007 | wardah bajrai

I notice since I started working, my writing style has changed. When I was unemployed, I had so much time that I could write almost anything and normally my entries would be light and not serious. In fact, I enjoyed writing it. Its like a remedy to cure my boringness and when I read back all the entries that I had wrote during my 'hibernate period', I still find it as relevant and enjoyable (maybe I perasan sorang-sorang je) but seriously, I wish I could produce entries like before. Maybe because during that time, I had less-pressure and I have too much time to think about almost anything.

Now, I find my entries were rather boring and it seems that I write something that comes from my pressured emotion-- maybe due to my tiredness and the unstoppable workloads. When I read back the entries, I feel dismay and I ask myself a question, "why on earth I write something like that?" . I need my mood back, I need to feel free again, I need to be able to write something that makes me happy. Not like now, all I did was using my writings as a medium to pour all my dissatisfactions, my sadness, my regrets and my-all-not-so-good stuffs. Does work make me less interesting person? Does work take all my sanity and mood? or is it merely because of my hormone and mood or perhaps because of my ageing age?

p/s: See! even this entry sounds distressful! Unlike my previous entries in friendster...

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marhaban..ya shahru ramadhan..

| wardah bajrai

Every year Muslims from all over the world and from all ethnic and economic backgrounds begin fasting from sunrise to sunset every day during a most blessed month in the Islamic tradition, known as Ramadan. But what makes Ramadan a blessed month? Why do Muslims fast during this month? What are the spiritual benefits of fasting? All these questions and more are addressed in this article that introduces you to a month long spiritual journey that over 1.4 billion Muslims engage in worldwide.

The Qur’an says what means, “It was the month of Ramadan in which the Qur’an was revealed from on high as a guidance for humanity and a self-evident proof of that guidance, and as the standard by which to discern the true from the false.” (Al-Baqarah 2:185). The entire month of Ramadan is in essence a celebration of the Quran’s revelation, which is described as a “Guide and Mercy for those who do good.” (Luqman 31:3). Ramadan celebrates God’s Mercy by which He sent a guiding light in the Qur’an that leads human life towards the path of good and virtue and protects the human soul from evil and vice.

Muslims show their gratitude to God for this guidance by abstaining from eating, drinking and sexual intimacy during Ramadan, as a way of coming closer to God and developing a deep inner awareness of God’s presence in life. This internal mechanism of feeling God’s presence leads the soul to do right even under life’s most difficult situations, and protects the soul against wrongdoing even when it is the easier or more tempting path to take.

Sin is seen as an act of self-oppression as it forces the soul into a state that is antithetical to its nature and created purpose.

This is why the Qur’an switches to a most intimate relationship between God and servant immediately following the passage on fasting in Ramadan (Al-Baqarah 2:183-185). “When My servants ask you about Me, I am close indeed—I hearken to the prayer of the supplicant when one calls on Me; so let them hearken to Me, and let them believe in Me, that they may go the right way.” (Al-Baqarah 2:186).

When the soul enters into a station of gratitude and submission to its Lord, through fasting, there is a recognition that life has been given by God as a gift and trust to be used for good works that reflect God’s mercy, compassion, love, generosity and so on. In fact, the Qur’an says that the natural inclination of our souls is to submit to God’s Will by having sincere belief in One God and doing righteous acts of worship (Ar-Rum 30:30). As such, the very concept of sin, in the Islamic tradition, is known as an act of oppression against one’s own soul for forcing it into a state that is antithetical to its very nature and created purpose (Aal `Imran 3:117, among many other verses). When a soul persists in sinning, it becomes a slave to its own lower desires, a prisoner of its own passions (Al-Furqan 25:43).

One of the most important qualities fasting seeks to develop within an individual is humility before God and God’s creation.

Fasting, then, seeks to free the soul from these shackles by suppressing the lower self of desire and raising the God-conscious soul of giving that naturally aspires towards good. By depriving the soul of life’s basic necessities for some hours, one is able to teach the soul self-restraint and self-control from such evils as anger, revenge, lying, stealing, sexual immorality and so on. This is why Prophet Muhammad said that “When anyone of you is fasting on a day, he should neither indulge in obscene language nor should he raise his voice; and if anyone insults him or tries to quarrel with him, he should say: ‘I am fasting.’” The Prophet also warned Muslims not to make fasting an uneventful ritual that has no affect on the character and habits of a person: “If anyone does not refrain from lies and false conduct, God has no need for him to abstain from his food and drink.”

One of the most important qualities fasting seeks to develop within an individual is humility before God and God’s creation. Hunger and thirst cause one to realize that if it were not for God’s Mercy and Sustenance, one would be in a most difficult and undesirable state of affairs. Fasting is a humbling experience, which is an important characteristic of a righteous soul, for false pride and arrogance can never live side-by-side with sincere piety.

The act of fasting, therefore, also provides the fortunate, wealthy members of society to experience for a time the pain and suffering which millions of people go through everyday without food, water and other basic necessities of life. Fasting bridges the gap between rich and poor, sustained and impoverished, fulfilled and needy. This experience should then inspire compassion and mercy, which is manifest by generosity of wealth and time to help those in need. Muslims are encouraged especially during this month to go out and feed the hungry and to spend their wealth on good causes, such as building schools, hospitals, soup kitchens and so on, in the tradition of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) whose generosity would increase ten-folds during Ramadan. In the Islamic tradition, God promises to return all acts of goodness and generosity in this blessed month by ten-times, both in this world and in the hereafter.

Ramadan is a celebration of God’s guidance to humanity, through the Qur’an, which is a guide for doing good and a warning against evil.

Due to the blessings and rewards associated with Ramadan, Muslims are encouraged to share their food with their neighbors and to invite guests to their home to begin the fast at sunrise and for breaking of the fast at sunset. Muslims are also encouraged to significantly increase their worship to God during this month, and therefore special prayers are offered in every Mosque well into the night, with most Mosques packed with worshippers. As such, Ramadan always brings with it a strong communal atmosphere and ties between the community are strengthened greatly as a result. Most Muslims are therefore very sad to see the month of Ramadan go and its return is highly anticipated well in advance of its arrival.

In conclusion, Ramadan is a celebration of God’s guidance to humanity, through the Qur’an, which is a guide for doing good and a warning against evil. In order to bring the soul into harmony with the Qur’anic ideals of belief and virtue, fasting is prescribed as a way for individuals to come closer to God and to lift their souls to new heights of piety. In doing so, the entire human body is able to transform itself into an agent of positive moral and social change that seeks to replace miserliness with generosity, anger with patience, revenge with love, and war with peace—in effect, replacing good with evil in the world.

A saying by God transmitted through Prophet Muhammad, known as a hadith qudsi, best explains the transformation that takes place in an individual through good acts, which in part are inspired by fasting. “And the most beloved thing with which My servant comes nearer to Me is what I have enjoined upon him; and My servant keeps on coming closer to Me through performing extra righteous deeds till I love him. When I love him, I become the hearing with which he hears, seeing with which he sees, hands with he acts, and legs with which he walks; and if he asks of Me, I give him, and if he asks My protection, I protect him.”

Sohaib Sultan is the author of The Koran for Dummies (website last accessed Nov. 6, 2004).

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teacher - beware of your words!

Thursday, September 06, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Once, my students asked me an-almost-all students-ask question; "teacher, tomorrow bring what book?" I tried to imagine my lesson plan for tomorrow. Finally I replied "Class, tomorrow please bring your comprehension book?" . "No textbook? another famous question popped from one student. "No"..all the students cried unison ( they really hate bringing their textbook)

The next day, I entered the class, brought along my 'buku persediaan mengajar', confidently I walked into the class..After the greeting..."class take out your Literature Book and your textbook". My students "teacher, yesterday you asked us to bring comprehension only"
Me: Really, oh my mistake (while trying to remember whether I'd said that"
Me: So, all of you didn't bring your textbook?
NO!! -- all students (with their thunderous voices)
Me: Ok then, take out your book and copy this..we'll discuss later...

At the end of the class...

"class, tomorrow please bring your literature book.."
My students: eleh teacher, suruh bawa buku lain tapi esok lain..
Me: Cis (dalam hati je laaa)


Students nowadays are not like us in the past. In those days, we never raised our voice to our teachers, if they did any mistake (which in my case, I totally forgot..) we chose to say nothing. We respected them and once we being scolded, we will remember it forever and tried to avoid from making the same mistake. My students.. cikgu..boifren cikgu keje apa? Me--stunned! I never dared to ask my teacher question like that.. phrases like "malasla cikgu, cikgu ni, kalau tak nak buat macam mana?" are normal to be uttered by my students and then when we rolled our eyes, they will say "gurau je la cikgu"

Me--Just praying that students in the future won't be worse from today.....

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Thursday, August 23, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Be like the flowing river,
silent in the night,

be not afraid of the dark
if there are stars on the sky,
reflect them back

If there are clouds in the sky

Remember, clouds like rivers,
are water
So, gladly reflect them too,

In your own tranquil depths..

-Manuel Bandeira-

I do a lot of self-reflections during this holiday. I reflect all the things that I've done-things that I regret and things that I wish could happen again. Sometimes I hope that I could play safe by choosing the path that placed right in front of me but, I opt to choose the opposite. By doing that I hurt not only myself, but others too. But I know, these are the risks that I have to take for my decisions now will bring consequences that affect my future. Be hurt now rather than be sorry in the future. Be frustrated now than feeling disappointed in the future.

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A story of an average man

Tuesday, August 21, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Here is a story of an average man. Now, he's in his sixties. He was a teacher. A good one- a teacher who always motivated his students and he loved his job very much. He's a teacher who dedicated his whole life to this profession and enjoyed every second of it. A teacher who wanted to see the best in each of his student. A teacher by heart.

He's the eldest in the family and it's something normal for him to support his family.Since he was small, he always worked hard. Every penny he earned, he will save for his family. Little did he spend for his own pleasure. Although he was busy working, he never complained and he never neglected his study too. It was his parents' proudest moment when he got an offer from UM to pursue his study. He, himself was very delighted! 5 years in UM had taught him to be a better man. Though, he never forgot his family. Most of the scholarship he received, he will use it for his family. He supported his brothers and sisters, he paid all of their school fees. Yet, he never once whining about it.

He has 3 brothers and 3 sisters and all of them managed to taste the sweetness of success- thanks to him! When he was a teacher, people labeled him as a stingy, parsimonious, "tangkai jering", "haji bakhil" and etc. Its true that he didn't like to spend money on new car. He was, in fact renovated his house on his own. Instead of using car, he preferred to use his old motorcycle to go to school. Even when he became the principal. He never changed his style. His colleagues said bad things behind his back, but he chose to ignore

Now, he's retired. He spend most of his time in his farm. Once a while, he will be invited to give talks to students and teachers. Wherever he goes, people recognize him, not as a stingy person, but as a good teacher. He is able to live in luxury but he chooses the opposite and he's happy with it. Although some people still say bad things about him, but I know he is others' hero!

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the broken-heart of mine

Friday, August 10, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Call me stupid, call me dumb, call me whatever you want, but I never asked for this feeling. It hurts, a lot. People say 'to fall in love is the best experience ever', ironically, I feel the opposite. Instead of giving me the 'over-the-moon feeling', I feel extremely exhausted with these feelings that never want to go away. I tried, not once, not twice but still the dumb me fails to realize that I could never have him as my soul-mate.

People said you should fight for your love, never give up easily but how could I be a fighter if my dream guy is out of my reach. I can only miss him, but to have him; impossible. He is like a shadow, seems so near but you could never catch it. I try to console my broken heart but it always betrays me. When I finally have the gut to forget him, his images appear. He is like a ghost, never let me have him and never let me forget him. To the Almighty, I ask for help..for my heart to be at peace's hard, but I will try... I know, I could never have him, as he's married!

Zinedine Yazid Zidane, if you could hear, my heart is calling for you!!!

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you have no excuse to not remember your Creator!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Praise the Almighty!

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We are human too!!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 | wardah bajrai

It bothers me a lot when I read how the public keep on complaining and scolding teachers once some students were being punished. Teachers are human too. And every human makes mistakes but sometimes we are being penalized as if we are grade-1-criminal. Totally unfair! I have to agree that some teachers went overboard when they punished their students but I believe there were reasons for every action. We will never, ever punish our students without any valid reasons. We are teachers, educators not some psychopaths who deliberately punish our students. Or else we won’t be teachers at the first place. But the treatments that we get, totally outrageous. I remember, once a person from KPM suggested that teachers share the toilet with the students in order to keep the toilet clean. And recently, one suggestion made that teachers shouldn’t eat separately with the students. OMG! Were these people crazy or what? Sometimes, I personally think that teachers are being treated badly. If they want us to share the toilet with the students, they should show an example first. They shouldn’t use VIP toilet or dine at 5 stars hotels. I bet these people won’t do it as they are only “commenists” – people who loooooooove to comment!

One of our tokoh pendidikan said - students nowadays are too soft(lembik) and spoilt(mengada-ngada). And to make things worst, parents blatantly will take their children's side whatever happened. They always think that their children could never be wrong- and I agree 100%. How pathetic these parents are!!

I am a teacher. I know the reality and I understand well the hitches that need to be faced by all these teachers every day. Sometimes, it felt like mental torturing! Why, when few students were slapped by a teacher, this so-called-accident became a front cover of each national newspaper, but when a teacher get punched on his face until he was hospitalised, we heard nothing, be it from the ministry or the press! totally unfair.

Here, I want to make a suggestion to so-called loving parents, why don't you be a teacher just for one day, and after you have succeeded then you can complain. My students aren't 'devils' or 'angels' but to cope with their sometimes rude attitude, really makes me a "screamer” and a “mad woman” sometimes…

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waaaa! I lost my phone!

Saturday, July 14, 2007 | wardah bajrai

I lost my precious but cheap handphone. My mom gave me when I got my first Anugerah Dekan. So the phone got sentimental value. The thing is, I'd been planning to buy new phone since months ago but have to wait for my very first salary. But now, I am a person without a hp as my s0-damn-late salary has not reach its destination (which is my bank account).. sob..sob..
I was the third victim, before there were another two teacher who lost their hp..we suspected inside our school got toyol la..

Dear KPM, please...please..please give me my salary as I desperately need to buy a handphone!

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I feel damned terrible

Thursday, July 05, 2007 | wardah bajrai

I felt terribly bad today. I did something in which I regret it until now.Seriously, I didn't know it before.

There's one girl inside my class. She's small and quiet. She has this pitiful face and a very innocent smile. Her uniform is clouded with yellowish colour. From her appearance, I know that she's not from a wealthy family. But sometimes, she really pissed me off. I've been teaching her class for almost 4 months now and every time I entered her class, she's the regular face who always forgot to bring either her textbook or her exercise books. Numerous time I let her go. But today, I was really mad. She did bring her textbook but bring none of her exercise books. I put on my serious face and with thunderous voice, I went to her and asked about her book. She was colouring a picture at that moment.

"where's your book?"
"tak bawa"
"asyik tak bawa, awak tak pernah bawak kan?"- I have to speak Malay as she hardly understand anything i said before.
she looked down and gave me an innocent smile. But I couldn't let her go this time, or else I will be biased to other students.

"saya tak tahu nak cakap apa lagi. Awak tak pernah bawak buku. buku apa yang awak bawa?"
"sikik-sikit" she answered.

"keluarkan semua, I want to see".
Slowly she opened her bag and took out few books. My temperature was rising when I saw few books of other subjects
"Buku maths ada, science ada, KH ada, tapi buku BI tak de"

She looked at me and said..
"tadi dah masuk, pastu keluarkan balik"

I bombarded her back
"sapa suruh bawak keluar balik..seriously, saya dah malas nak cakap ngan awak lagi"
I left her abruptly. She ruined my mood.

During free time, I consulted a fellow teacher about this girl-whether she's facing the same problem like me.

"sys...budak tu memang ada masalh. Dia tinggal dengan mak tiri and ayah dia, selalu kene dera"

I was stunned.

And she continued. "Dia memang tak beli buku. Ayah dia tak nak bagi duit, buku2 dia pun cikgu subjek yg tolong belikan.. Dia dalam proses kaunseling sekarang"

Seriously, I felt very bad (still do) when I heard that. Me, a teacher, a person who supposed to help my student, instead I humiliated her in front of her friends and torture her emotionally. I feel really really bad!

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Being a muslim- Part 2

Saturday, June 23, 2007 | wardah bajrai

And why I choose Islam as a way of life to be embraced? For an easy answer, I shall say because I was born to be a Muslim but I prefer to give different answers. I choose Islam because Islam gives meaning in my life as it provides me with rules- to guide and protect me rather than to thwarted my wants and desires, it provides me with peace - as I always feel calm when I pray to the Almighty and it gives me comfort as I know I have lots of brothers and sisters (all muslims are in one big family).Islam is not a barbaric religion as some people say, but it is rather a peaceful religion and it brings no harm- be it to muslims or to non-muslims. I write this post just to remind myself and my fellow muslims on why we choose Islam as our way of life. I also write this to remind my brothers and sisters about our responsibility to defend and protect our religion as nowadays we could see and hear how people talk nasty things bout Islam and muslims. The main question -Why we choose Islam?

Firstly is because Islam is a Complete Way of Life

Islam is not a religion in the common and distorted sense, for it does not confine its scope to one’s private life. It is a complete way of life and is present in every field of human existence. Islam provides guidance for all aspects of life - individual and social, material and moral, economic and political, legal and cultural, and national and international. The Qur'an enjoins man to embrace Islam without any reservation and to follow Allah's guidance in all areas of life.

In fact, it was an unfortunate day when the scope of religion was confined to the private life of man and its social and cultural role was reduced to naught, as has happened in this century. No other factor, perhaps, has been more important in causing the decline of religion in the modern age than its retreat into the realm of private life. In the words of a modern philosopher: "Religion asks us to separate things of God from those of Caesar. Such a judicial separation between the two means the degrading of both the secular and the sacred ... That religion is worth little if the conscience of its followers is not disturbed when war clouds are hanging over us all and industrial conflicts are threatening social peace. Religion has weakened man's social conscience and moral sensitivity by separating the things of God from those of Caesar."

Islam totally denounces this concept of religion and clearly states that its objectives are the purification of the soul and the reform and reconstruction of society. As we read in the Qur'an: (We verily sent Our messengers with clear proofs, and revealed with them the Scripture and the Balance, that mankind may observe right measure; and He revealed iron, wherein is mighty power and (many) uses for mankind, and that Allah may know him who helpeth Him and His messengers, though unseen. Lo! Allah is Strong, Almighty. ) (Al-Hadid 57: 25) Allah also says: “The decision rests with Allah only, Who hath commanded you that ye worship none save Him. This is the right religion, but most men know not..” (Yusuf 12: 40)

Thus even a cursory study of the teachings of Islam shows that it is an all-embracing way of life and does not leave out any field of human existence to become a playground for the forces of evil.

Secondly is because the of the balance between the Individual and Society

Another unique feature of Islam is that it establishes a balance between individualism and collectivism. It believes in the individual personality of man and holds everyone personally accountable to God. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) says: “Everyone of you is a guardian, and responsible for what is in his custody. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects and responsible for them; a husband is a guardian of his family and is responsible for it; a lady is a guardian of her husband's house and is responsible for it, and a servant is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for it." I heard that from Allah's Apostle and I think that the Prophet also said, "A man is a guardian of is father's property and is responsible for it, so all of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and things under your care.""(Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Islam also guarantees the fundamental rights of the individual and does not permit anyone to tamper with them. It makes the proper development of the personality of man one of the prime objectives of its educational policy. It does not subscribe to the view that man must lose his individuality in society or in the state.

In Islam, all men are equal, regardless of color, language, race, or nationality. It addresses itself to the conscience of humanity and banishes all false barriers of race, status, and wealth. There can be no denying the fact that such barriers have always existed and continue to exist today in the so-called enlightened age. Islam removes all of these impediments and proclaims the ideal of the whole of humanity being one family of God.

Islam is international in its outlook and approach and does not admit barriers and distinctions based on color, clan, blood, or territory, as was the case before the advent of Muhammad. Unfortunately, these prejudices remain rampant in different forms even in this modern age. Islam wants to unite the entire human race under one banner. To a world torn by national rivalries and feuds, it presents a message of life and hope and of a glorious future.

The historian, A. J. Toynbee, has some interesting observations to make in this respect. In Civilization on Trial, he writes: "Two conspicuous sources of danger - one psychological and the other material - in the present relations of this cosmopolitan proletariat, i.e., [westernized humanity] with the dominant element in our modern Western society are race consciousness and alcohol; and in the struggle with each of these evils the Islamic spirit has a service to render which might prove, if it were accepted, to be of high moral and social value.

The extinction of race consciousness between Muslims is one of the outstanding moral achievements of Islam, and in the contemporary world there is, as it happens, a crying need for the propagation of this Islamic virtue ... It is conceivable that the spirit of Islam might be the timely reinforcement which would decide this issue in favor of tolerance and peace.

As for the evil of alcohol, it is at its worst among primitive populations in tropical regions which have been 'opened up' by Western enterprise. The fact remains that even the most statesmanlike preventive measures imposed by external authority are incapable of liberating a community from a social vice unless a desire for liberation and a will to carry this desire into voluntary action on its own part are awakened in the hearts of the people concerned. Now Western administrators, at any rate those of 'Anglo-Saxon' origin, are spiritually isolated from their 'native' wards by the physical 'color bar' which their race-consciousness sets up; the conversion of the natives' souls is a task to which their competence can hardly be expected to extend; and it is at this point that Islam may have a part to play.

In these recently and rapidly 'opened up' tropical territories, the Western civilization has produced an economic and political plenum and, in the same breath, a social and spiritual void.

Here, then, in the foreground of the future, we can remark two valuable influences which Islam may exert upon the cosmopolitan proletariat of a Western society that has cast its net around the world and embraced the whole of mankind; while in the more distant future we may speculate on the possible contributions of Islam to some new manifestation of religion."

adapted from

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I miss my two-week holiday

Thursday, June 21, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Been very busy lately. I miss my two weeks holiday- just stayed at home and away from any thought about schoolworks. Two weeks after the school re-opened and I have yet experienced any day without doing or thinking bout schoolworks. And I’m praying and hoping that these hectic-ness shall end by the end of this week. Today, for instance, my school held an opening day and ‘hari kantin’. The unfortunate me who was selected to be a form teacher had to entertain 41 parents with different opinion and attitudes. One parent even scolded me for he had to wait for his turn (not that he had to wait for one hour! Huh!). I know, he was so eager to see me but come on, be patience dude or shall I say "nuncle". I forced myself to be calmed but inside, there was a burning flame. No wonder his child was rude – as parents are child’s first role models. Besides that superfluous moment, everything went perfectly normal. Throughout the 3 hours dealing with these parents, I managed to collect few events and experiences that managed to tickled my heart. I managed to see how disappointed parents scolded their children when they saw their children’s not-so-good results, how my students who normally were so loud became extremely passive in front of their parents, and how hopeful some parents to see their children to be success in the future – not to follow their path. Truly, I learned a lot today. Indirectly, I can say that my interpersonal skills have improved (hmm). Teachers, we are not merely an educator but we also a motivator, a problem solver and also an observer. And yes we a good cook too ( as I was in-charged for nasi ayam stall, I only slept few hours last night to fry the chicken). I’m tired but I’m grateful that I was learning something today. But I need a break too!

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My big fat arabic wedding

Wednesday, June 13, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Attended my cousin wedding last weekend. Remind me of the movie 'my big fat greek wedding'. First, we were loud-of course because everyone was so excited. We danced (we really did) and we eat lamb (but we're not roasted the lamb at the lawn). It was a tiring affair but at the same time it also was a thrilling experience. Below, I attach a short video of the wedding.

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I looooooooove beaches..

Tuesday, June 05, 2007 | wardah bajrai

I had a blast last week, -in a good way of course-spending precious but short time with my besties, was really a thing that i extremely need in order to mend my not-so-miserable life and to clear the turbid mind of mine. Even if the meeting means spending 4-5 hours trapped in traffic jams and another hours finding the right roads to go back to the hotel. I didn't mind with all that, as being with the friends that I know will always be there for me, was really a comfort.

Yes, I had my truly holiday during the weekends with Cj and AS. We travelled from KL around 7 pm but we only reached Melaka at 12 am (thanks to the massive traffic jam--and I wonder, apart from 367 days in a year, why on earth the kl-ites (and singaporeans too) chose that day to go to Melaka..huh). But during the 5 hours journey, I didn't feel bored at all(ok maybe because it wasn't me who drove the car, and they did highlight this fact --countless time :D-) but seriously, I really enjoyed every minute of it. Finally, when we arrived at the hotel, I was half shocked to see how grande the hotel was (and also the deposit that we had to pay-- I do realize lately, I become extra conscious when it comes about money, maybe because I haven't received my salary yet...) but at the end, I didn’t mind bout the rates..nothing could trumps the sweetest moments I had with them. Plus, I loooooove the hot tub! We did go to Tg. Bidara, the famous A’Famousa and other interesting places. But what we enjoyed the most is the ‘heart-to-heart” chit chat session. We exchanged stories and gossips, and updated ourselves with current issues (particularly juicy stories bout our ex-coursemates). Seriously, I enjoyed every second of it.

In the future (August), we planned to out for another trip again. This time around, we choose to laze around at the beach. Hopefully we could make it…

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Being a muslim..

Friday, June 01, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Being a Muslim means to always smile, no matter how difficult life gets, for it will last a while
It means greeting people of all ethnicities and races, with a salutation of peace, smiling at all faces
It means helping the elderly, and the one in need, and to give in charity, not to be overcome by greed
It means, to desire perfection, in piety and gratitude. Always be humble and not have an attitude
It means to obey your parents, not to raise your voice in their sight, and to walk away if someone wants to fight..

So am I a Muslim by action, or a Muslim by name, the first is a believer and the other is a shame
I must never become arrogant, boastful, or proud, nor utter silly words, or speak loud
I can't transgress in the earth, I know right from wrong, so I better correct my past, I won't live too long
Before I'm 6 feet under, and taking nothing with me but my deeds, no more things to worry about, no more needs
As I face my Lord, did I really prepare for that day, from the way I lived my life, it seems I was astray
So even as a Muslim, I will be punished for my sins if I fail, by going to hell, which ain't nothing like jail...

So I'm not special for being a Muslim at all, if my actions are on the down fall
If people don't see Islam in my actions, then what do I have to propose, nothing good in my image, which people oppose
So I stand up in prayer, asking God to give me His light, to walk humbly on earth, and to make things right
God created us weak, and in distress, so we can always turn to Him when our life is a mess
God created us to worship Him, not that He is in need, nor will He ever be in need for us, for were only a seed
God taught us the way we should compose our life, to live in harmony and not cause strife
He taught us our purpose and gave us direction; He is tired of hearing everyone's objection..

Thinking that we can develop better standards of living than our Lord, if you live life this way, you won't get a reward
So I better stop hurting people, God even counts a woman's tears, while many other people remain in fear
Fear of dying with no shelter, nor food, many more are depressed, in a delusional mood
So I must extend a helping hand to establish goodness to humanity, because too many people are living in insanity
If someone wrongs me, must I retaliate and fight, can I just forgive them, if I have the light
The light of Allah that He gives to whom He please, the only one who gets it are those who bow on their knees
To acknowledge to the creator, that you are indebted to His service, to not get caught up in life, always feeling nervous

The world wasn't made just for me, we all have a share in its joys and sorrow, so let's focus on today, for nothings promised tomorrow
So a Muslim who preaches the message must resemble goodness and piety, and to acknowledge there is only one Deity
His name is Allah., He is the One and Only, if you don't worship Him, you will remain lonely
He is the One who brings life to what was dead, so calling on Him at night, while you lay in bed
And thank Him, o Muslims, for all of His gifts, for if you remain ungrateful, His punishment is swift
God put us in this world to see how we react, but we failed many times, that's a fact.

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I can't wait no more!!!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Going for holiday with my friends!! Although I haven't received
my salary yet (huh!), it does not stop me to enjoy my 2 weeks holiday (although I have piles of papers to be marked!) ! I really need this break before i resuming my hectic life..Malacca, here I come! Will share bout my experience later... :D

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teachers' hitch (es)

Thursday, May 24, 2007 | wardah bajrai

First thing first, Anis...I prefer ILDIVO's than that song.

I've been rather busy for the past few days. Although the students are having their exam now (in which we, teachers are supposed to be free from teaching except monitoring the students ---which is pretty bored!), I have to say I could never rest. Now, my nightmare has begun. I'm teaching 5 classes (English) and for each class, approximately I have 40 (naughty) students. For English, we have two papers--paper 1 is easy as it is an objective paper, however when it comes to marked paper2, ......(no word can describe my "enthusiasm"). 40x5---you do the math. Plus, I am also a form teacher where I'm supposed to do the students' record book. Anis, that's why I haven't updated my blog recently.

Marking is a tedious job, however I do manage to entertain myself while marking the papers.

"we put oil in kuali panas"

"we cut onion pakai pisau tajam"

"cut the onions small small"

"he finally bahagia"

yes, I did laugh when I read these interesting pieces!

There a few students who tried their best to write even though they are weak in the language but what bothers me the most is the students who don't even try to answer the questions given.

So, wish me luck for the coming days!

p/s: I had a meeting yesterday, and now besides teaching the students, we, language teachers have to teach our peers too. It is called "Buddy support system". And yes, we do get extra incentive.

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The Day

Wednesday, May 16, 2007 | wardah bajrai

I woke up at 6.00 a.m this morning. It’s not my normal routine to wake up that early, but today, special case. Last night, I ironed my new pink baju kurung…(only technically mine, as currently my sister loan it to me but still, its new). A real hot pink! After finished dressing up, with a bit of excitement feeling inside my heart, I went straight to my school. Good morning teacher! a student greeted me, when I entered the school’s gate. I just smiled, and nodded my head a bit. I could feel that my face was glowing. I wonder why, maybe because of the new blusher that I wore this morning. I clocked in my card and went straight to the teachers’ room. Today, every teacher looked different. They wore nice clothes, some even bought a new ‘tudung’- just to match with their baju kurung. All smiled and chatted happily. Some shook hands with their peers and there were some teachers who hugged each other. “macam raya plak!” a voice echoed. All just smiled. Nevertheless, there were few teachers who’re busy marking the students’ books. “dah lah, hari ni tak payahla tanda buku, hari ni kita relax!” one teacher teased the teachers who’re busy with their marking.

“cikgu2, pukul 7.45 nanti sila berkumpul di dataran”- an instruction given to the teachers. If during normal day, the teachers felt reluctant to go for the assembly, but today, I could see that they fastened their steps while heading to the hall- including me. Then, the assembly started. Nothing much different from our every day assembly except for today, throughout the assembly, from time to time, I received messages from my friends in which their contents made me smiled and at the and of the assembly, we, teachers were requested to sing.

Kami guru Malaysia

Berikrar dan berjanji

Memimpin dan mendidik

Putera-puteri Negara kita

Pada Seri Paduka

Kami tumpahkan setia

Rukun Negara kita

Panduan hidup kami semua

Di bidang pembangunan

Kami tetap bersama

Bersatu, membina Negara yang tercinta

Amanah yang diberi

Kami tak persiakan

Apa yang kami janji

Tunai tetap kami tunaikan

All the teachers sang their heart out. Then, we had a break. Together, we went to the canteen. There, while eating, we chatted—cheerfully. Today, everyone was in high spirits. After we had our break, we toured back to the hall as the event continued. There were performances by both teachers and the students, and the event lasted until 12.30 pm. When I stepped out from the hall, few students approached me, they shook my hand and greeted me, “selamat hari guru, cikgu!” and I smiled. Yes, today, 16 May 2007, is Teachers’ Day and this is the first time I celebrated it as a teacher! To all teachers/educators and to myself “HAPPY TEACHERS’ DAY”.

p/s: I did get few gifts and cards. Reading my students’ cards makes me flattered.

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Making Choice

Wednesday, May 09, 2007 | wardah bajrai

"to choose between right or wrong is simple but what defines one's life is the decision between the greater of two goods or the lesser of two evils"...

At first, when I encountered with this quote, I just copied it down as it sounds nice but today, when I need to make decision between two equally good things, I began to understand the meaning lies between the words. I'm a traveller now, and I stood long, before entering the path that will change my life, to see what may happen in the future. Finally, I made my decision but I'm still unsure whether it's the correct one or not. But, I'm not a quiter and I begin to be a risk-taker. I will have to accept all the consequences resulted by the choice that I have made. I am also more plucky now, like what people say, "ageing makes us more mature (although I'm not that old!). I will pray for the best and hope that the choice that I made will lead me to a better life and will open vast opportunity ahead of me!

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Monday, April 30, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Today, officially, I've been working for a month. My accomplishments within this month:-
1. Got an offer - a teacher
2. been appointed as a form teacher - form 2 teacher
3. Trained a student for public speaking competition.
4. chosen to be the MC for inter-school drama competition
5. selected to participate in 'how-to-mark-PMR-paper' seminar
6. selected to be a trainer for future drama competition.

Salary? Haven't got YET (rumour says I will only get my salary after 3 months! huh!). But my mom was generous enough to LOAN me her money (which means I have to PAY BACK after I got mine!). Wish me luck for the coming months!

p/s:Being a new teacher, we need new shoes, so I bought 0ne(although I said I'll wait for my first salary but teachers do need shoes - strictly for work purposes only!- which unfortunately, I lost it after a week and I grief A LOT!, and the I HAD TO buy another one (also strictly for work purposes only!), cheaper but seriously comfortable! :D

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Good Afternoon Miss W...

Monday, April 23, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Some classes you feel eager and excited just to think about it, but some, you just wish that you never have to enter that classes. You tend to like certain students, and unfortunately, there are also some unlucky ones that you wish you never teach them. Being a teacher, you will try your best to cater and accomodate your students' needs and wants but sometimes you felt too tired to entertain them. I am a teacher, honestly, I begin to enjoy my new job but when unfortunate events occured, I just wish that I could run away, start all over again. But, I'm optimistic and not a quiter-- to see my students tried their best to use English ; "eskuey me teacher, cannot see".. I'm proud, at least she tried! But some-- "class, you write using your hands not your mouth!" they looked at you, and continued talking! damned rude!

"war, akak lantik awak jadi AJK Club susah sana susah sini eh?"
Me --smile, "Ok kak", pretending. Being a teacher is not about teaching anymore; you have to handle the students who think the school is their's, when your students are sick, you have to send them home, you have to collect money, and the list goes on, what more if you're form teacher (I am a form teacher!). Saturday --- "minggu ini ada perkhemahan, all single teachers must get involved!" I wish I'm married! But.... I begin to like my job!

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The Lonely soul

Saturday, April 14, 2007 | wardah bajrai

The lonely soul wanders
Alone in the walks of life
No other soul as his companion
The lonely soul wanders

Alone in the daybreak
He does his duties
In the walks of life
The lonely soul wanders

Alone in the life
He meets many other souls
Who comes to be
Unfit for the lonely soul
The lonely soul wanders

As the days pass by
The lonely soul became
More lonely, with no other
souls as his companion
The lonely soul wanders

Alone in the walks of life
The lonely soul decides
Not to die, but to face
LIfe in all its hardships
The lonely soul wanders

- anto thermadam-

I bet if anyone reads this posting, they shall predict how gloomy my heart is now. I'm so enough to throw all my laments now. In life, we have ups and downs and now i'm in my down phase. Currently, i'm looking for silver line beyond the turbid cloud. Hope I could find soon!

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Monday, April 09, 2007 | wardah bajrai

I tried to find the right time to write about my first week as a brand new teacher: the feelings, the thoughts, the expectations, the hopes and the dismays. There are lots of things that I would like to share but I don’t really have the excitement and the drive to write. Honestly, I hate to admit that I don’t feel any euphoric sensation towards this job, besides the salary offered. First day was rather boring and I still hadn’t been assigned to teach any particular class. For the rest of the week, all I did was relief classes and read novel (yes, finally, I managed to finish reading Jane Eyre –my latest favourite novel!). Oh yes, few teachers asked me to help them – from coaching the student for public speaking, be the MC for the inter-school drama competition and one job that I think I shouldn’t be assigned to do – preparing power point slides for her! And as a novice, it’s normal for me to nod my head for every request! Only tomorrow (today was holiday- sultan’s birthday) I will be given classes to teach and I will be transferred to evening session. That’s the treatment that you will get if you are new teacher. I keep saying o myself that I ought to be grateful as I had been waiting for this job for almost a year but why I don’t feel happy at all? Why I feel as if I don’t belong here? Part of me says that I’m not suitable for this job. I keep asking myself whether I’m making mistakes by taking up this job. The teachers are nice but why I feel lonely and damned bored?! And to answer all these questions, I managed to come out with one answer – adaptation. I’m new and it takes time for me to adapt with the new environment. I have to be patience as I believe, in the end I will be able to enjoy this job. After all, I’m doing a noble job here – teaching and helping the needs! To Allah, I ask for help and I pray to Allah, if this path is meant for me, grant me with Your bless as I need it. Need it so much!

p/s: End of this month, I have to attend a “how-to-mark seminar” huh!

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I love fish

Saturday, March 31, 2007 | wardah bajrai

One activity that I enjoy the most is cleaning the fish pond - which I did yesterday morning with my brother. It was tiring but enthralling! In order to clean the pond, we need to remove all the fish from the pond - I like this part the most. Later, the pond was refilled with water taken from the well. The pictures below should tell it all…




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Pressing the 'resume' button

Thursday, March 29, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Next week, I will enter another phase in my life - working-sphere- a world that I’d been desperately to be in since I became the resident of the 'idle world' almost a year ago. Finally, I’m going to hit the resume button again after I hit the pause months ago. What do I feel? Excited! (at last!, I got my own money) + scared! (to be a person who're going to mould the future generation or to be the person who'll pollute their mind).In order to prepare myself, I even have practiced to wake up early every morning, arraying my best wardrobes and shoes and I even dropped by at a mall yesterday, eyeing the possible shoe/s that I am g.., no, might buy next month after I got my first salary. Only might! but hopefully I could buy one..or two. It depends. Or maybe bag/s too!

Although I'm very eager to start working, part of me feels sad because throughout the 'pause' moment that I'd spent staying at home, I have learnt lots of things. I have improved my cooking skills, and without a doubt, I also become the "domestic goddess" as it was me who did all the house chores-from the cleaning to washing. Honestly, I'm going to miss all that. Plus, during that time, I also became much closer to my dad. I'm going to miss the mornings where I will share the paper with my dad while having cup of coffee, I'll miss the moments where my dad asked and sometimes bribed me to type his letters or proposals and he'll said that he's going to pay me (most of the time he didn't, but when he did, he gave a lot!), I also will miss my favorite morning shows- the breakfast show, tyra bank show and Martha show.., and most importantly I’m going to miss my 'peaceful' moments which I enjoyed very much every morning. I'm going to miss all that! But, I'm optimistic! I hope my new phase of life will be as exciting as the previous one. A toast to working-sphere! Now, there's another 1 phase left in my life- married phase.. and when I will enter that phase?!.. I wonder...

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Film: Mengejar Matahari

Sunday, March 25, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Mengejar Matahari (Chasing the Sun)

''Terus terang dalam hidup gue, banyak orang yang datang dan pergi. Tapi di hati gue, hanya lu sahabat sejati gue,'' (Honestly in my life, there're a lot of people come and go. But inside my heart, only you're my true friend)

A story about friendship between 4 school boys, who come from different backgrounds. A simple story with great cinematography completed with realistic and brilliant story-line. A story which makes us appreciate our friends more.

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Praise to the Almighty

Monday, March 12, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Me. Happy. Y?. I got a job!. Finally!. Me.. Grin. Big One! :D

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Once...when I was a student

Sunday, March 04, 2007 | wardah bajrai

It’s passed midnight, yet I couldn’t make my eyes to rest. I decided to write something. I went out for dinner with my dad my brother just now at a seafood restaurant. I’d been craving for Tomyam since last week. And we also ordered otak2 (also a famous dish besides tempe, its made of fish). Then was when old memories hit me. Once, when I was still a student.

Students who stayed in hostel were not allowed to cook on our own. So, besides eating instant mee, our next option was grabing something from the nearest cafeteria. Occasionally, we will also go out to Tmn U to eat. There were lots of restaurants but my favourite spot was Singgora. A fine restaurant which situated a stone throw from the University. I normally went there with my then room-mate, Mc Y and another friend, Mis JN. I usually will order Tomyam, Mc Y will order USA fried rice and Mis JN, she didn’t have any specific menu, but one common thing that we will do- ordering otak2. It’s a must for us. While eating, we will talk about almost everything but we did best in ‘bitching’ our lecturers (not all the time!). How I miss that moments! Besides that, I also went out with my other close friends especially during weekends. Being a student gave me chances to experience independent life without my parents’ eagle eyes, following every step that I made. It’s all about making mistakes and learning something from it. I believe that I can never taste that kind of life anymore. Yes, its true that I’m going to make new friends, acquaintances, colleagues or whatever you might call, but it can never replaced the friends, the time, and the life that I had during my university years. Life is evolving and I might not feel again the euphoric period where I let go and let flow everything…..

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A child reciting surah Yassin

Thursday, March 01, 2007 | wardah bajrai


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The most awaited day (night) in each week..

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Tuesday (night). Why?

8.30-9.30 pm (NTV7)- Grey's Anatomy
9.30-10.30 pm (8TV) - Ugly Betty
10.30-11.30 pm (8TV)- Desperate Housewives
11.30-12.30 am (TV2)-7th Heavens
12.30-1.30 am (TV2)-Beautiful People

1.30am onward---zzzz....

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An old lady..with her tempe...

Thursday, February 22, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Yesterday, on my way to KLIA to send my sister (went to Australia to pursue her Master), we stopped by at one mosque in remote area to pray.(My dad purposely chose to use ‘kampung’ roads to avoid Tol). When I entered the toilet, I was greeted by an old lady. She was small and looked fragile. She was holding a big plastic bag. With sign of politeness never shaded from her face, she extended her hands to salam with me. I then met her again inside the mosque after the pray. Slowly she walked towards us (me, my sisters and moi mama) and sat besides us. Once again, she extended her hands to salam and once again I felt happy to accept it. She took out something from the big plastic bag. It was ‘tempe’ (famous dishes among the Johoreans) and asked whether we want to buy it. We didn’t know what to respond at first as we’re heading to KL and of course we didn’t want it. Politely my mom declined. Surprisingly, I saw no sign of disappointment on her face, she still smiling. Suddenly I felt pity for this lady. I urged my mom to buy it although we didn’t want it. When we said we wanted to buy the ‘tempe’, you could see the glow on her face! By looking at her, I couldn’t help but to think about her family. Does she have one? And why, at her age, she has to walk around and sell ‘tempe’? What did the government has done to help her—or other people like her- Until now I’m still thinking about that lady, or ‘nenek’ should I call. And the meeting makes me missing my late grannies….. mucho….

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hail the new Queen..

Thursday, February 15, 2007 | wardah bajrai

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

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Tuesday, February 06, 2007 | wardah bajrai

"Friendship consists of only one soul; inhabiting two bodies"

Apocrypha quotes:
"A faithful friend is the medicine of life"

Aquinas says:
"Friendship is the source of the greatest pleasures, and without friends even the most agreeable pursuits become tedious"

By Walter Winchell:
"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out"

Friends come and go. Throughout our live, we're searching for a good friend or if possibel good friends, but sometime we end up become tired. I mean, yesterday we laughed together, wasting our tears together, shared everything--thinking that this will last but when we wake up the next day, reality hits us. The suposse-to-be good-friend, become our worst enemy. And we think back, does true friend really exist? I believe that we could only identify whether our friend/s is/are truly honest is when we say goodbye to this world. The friend/s that stand/s besides us on that day is our truly, honestly best and good friend/s. But, its too late then.....

I wish my friends now will be my good friends until the day I meet my Creator. Amin..

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Tuesday, January 30, 2007 | wardah bajrai

...and why i feel that he deserved that...........

Uploaded by cybermac

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Integrity- Do our leaders possess one…

Wednesday, January 17, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Integrity – a simple word which carries deep meaning. The other night, I managed to catch a debate programme which highlighting the importance of integrity among the leaders in Malaysia. The discussion was interesting and thought-provoking. A line of experienced commentators, from academician to politicians were selected to debate on this topic. While watching, I asked my dad, what is the meaning of integrity? Why is it so important for a leader to have this attribute? My dad asked me to keep my mouth shut and listened (the commentators) to what they have to say. “you’ll pick up the meaning on your own”, he said (my dad). So I listened. At first it was a boring discussion, – I actually wanted to watch other programme, indirectly I was forced to watch this debate- but after one comment made by one of the ‘pundits’, I was hooked. He said ‘we can comprehend the meaning of integrity by looking at this example---the fish, although it was surrounded by salted water, it managed to preserve its own flavor, unless you made it as ‘ikan kering’- this shows that even the fish has its integrity. God teaches us by giving this situation for us to think. A person, no matter in what condition he/she is in, he/she should have this “integrity thing”. Interesting. He added, ‘a good leader is a person who can lead by example, by sticking to truthfulness and he should hold firm his integrity”. I nodded, agree.

One audience asked, is it possible for us to find leader like this nowadays, a leader with integrity?. The responses were varied. One said it’s possible if we go back to the fundamental principle of human nature. God creates humans and gives us one valuable “thing”. If this “thing” is clean, we can be a good person but if this “thing” is dirty and polluted, we can be the opposite and the valuable “thing” is called “heart”. It controls our actions, attitudes and our beliefs. If we know how to take care this “thing”, it is not impossible for us to find one good leader with integrity. Another “pundit” said, ‘we have, here in Malaysia. I laughed! So did some of the audiences. Why?? Here is why….

When my state (Johor) was hit with the worst floods ever, only few leaders care enough to come down and extend their hands to help. Others, just said on national tv that “we feel sympathy for the Johoreans, we do care, please be patient”. Now make your own judgment—which one is important; went to Australia for a vacation and to open a new Nasi Kandar restaurant or go down here and help out the victims—more that 100,000 people had been evacuated and more than 10 people had died. Now I sound like a politician! However, on behalf of fellow Johoreans, I would like to thank the Crown Prince of Johor for his concerns and contributions, also to fellow Malaysians who helped the flood victims by donating and praying for our well being. Thanks!

So, after finished watching the programme, I came out with my own definition of integrity—self value that one should possess moreover if you are a leader. So do we have a leader with integrity nowadays??

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