my ramblings... just bear with it!


Wednesday, December 08, 2010 | wardah bajrai

It is universally acknowledged that most women tend to do everything based on what men want. Since we were young, whatever we did, we would always use men as our measuring tapes. Even small female kids would act sheepishly in front of the opposite gender- perhaps to impress the gentle-men on how well they behave.

Women-when we were single, we did everything that we could to look beautiful. why? because we want to attract men so that we would be chosen. So that we won't be left behind. How shallow our thoughts were! Next, we bought whitening cream because we wanted to be fairer. Why? because most men like 'fair and lovely' women. We controlled our eating habit for fear that we'll end up to be like blue hyppo. And why is that?
obvious reason- men like slender women; plumpy women? No, thank you. For that, we starved ourselves. For whom? for men! No matter how many excuses we created to reason our actions (for health purpose, for self-confidence purpose etc..etc), the ultimate reason- It's for men's attention and sometimes, satisfaction!

This torture to ourselves and body will continue until we begin to accept the real us, without putting others' expectation to decide on how we should conduct ourselves. I wrote this based on my own experience and my observation. I was and at times am still disappointed with how most women including me disappointing ourselves.Maybe this '
pandemonium' will never end. Perhaps women will never have control over their own body and self. Perhaps women will always see themselves as an object to fulfill men's expectations.

p/s: Pardon me, but my mind just went rambling at this wee hour.. just bear with it! :)

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Friday, October 22, 2010 | wardah bajrai

Me. There are so many things that occupy my mind now. I. sometimes feel so down and yet happiness never leave me as well. I. pray that everything will be fine. Me. at this moment, at this point, at this second feel like to cry. why?. I'm not sure. But 1 thing I'm sure of. I love him. period.

p/s: The wings symbolize how I want to soar as high as possible but all the incoming but unwanted problems keep pulling me down until I almost reach my breaking point.....

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Saturday, September 25, 2010 | wardah bajrai

Panicking. Many things have yet to be settled. So many. Kursus pun x pi lagi. haila~

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::red alert!::

Saturday, June 05, 2010 | wardah bajrai

Friday, 4 June- A form 1 student from SMK@@@@ was caught bringing ecstasy pills to school. It's also believed that she's a "pusher".

Haila, students nowadays.. macam2.. x cukup jadi pelakon jadi pusher plak... haila..~

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Happy Teacher's Day! (happy ke..)

Friday, May 21, 2010 | wardah bajrai

This entry is not about me wishing happy teacher's day.. far from it. More like what had happened after the day we were supposed to be oh-so-called-happy. Last two days, when I was about to enter my before-recess class, a teacher came to me, telling me that there was a student who got asthma attack( since i was the teacher on duty for that day). Diligently, I when to see the student. but before I could reach the class, I heard 100 octave scream- yea from the girl who got "asthma". For an asthma patient she sure had enough oxygen to scream that loud. -even though she kept on screaming "tak cukup oksigen! nak oksigen! like 100x!- (Maybe betul kot)

well, me and the other teacher took her to the hospital. My friend drove as if he wanted to be the next F1 champion whereas that "poor actor"- wrong. patient (strictly typo), whining, screaming, shouting
"nak oksigen, nak mak nak itu nak ini.. cikgu mata saya dh nak tutup ni, saya dh ngantuk ni.. saya nak tido ni bla...bla.. and bla.." and the other two escorts- menangis la macam drama hari ini.. akhirnya, we reached at the hospital, waited for 30 min, trying to call the parents but failed to do so since the line was unreachable.. Later, a doctor came and
"cikgu balik la dulu, die x ada apa2 pun.. biarlah dia rehat kat blakang.. kita nak amik darah die so mungkin lambat sket..." kata doctor handsome itu. and we went back. I got classes ok.. takkan nak tunggu je kat situ. But we were still trying to contact her family.

At 1.00 pm, we managed to call the doted father. The conversation went like this...
HEM: anak incik tadi sakit lelah, so kita hntar pegi hospital, dia dah ok and incik boleh la ambil die di hospital
doted father: hah! terkejut knapa cikgu hantar? nape x beritahu saya.. cikgu hantar, cikgu la amik! (with "PLEASANT" voice-sebaliknye)

tapi last2 doted father amik la juga the precious daughter.

The next day, doted father came to see HEM, muka macam singa, tangan digenggam, meja dihentak2, suara macam petir
"cikgu! kenapa cikgu tak beritahu saya awal2 anak saya masuk hospital?! kalau jadi apa2 cikgu nak bertanggungjawab?! rumah saya x jauh pun ...(so?, ingat kitaorang kuli! sape suruh tak angkat telefon?! and x-rated words-membebel kitaorang dalam hati) meja dihentak2 lagi. doktor kata anak saya dah 50-50 (duh... man! i was there ok, with the handsome doctor!) dan drama hari ini episod kedua pun bermula.. malas nak layan..
lastly he said, "saya akan adukan hal ni ke PPD while taking all his precious daughter's stuffs.

US: jangankan nak ganti duit petrol, terima kasih pun tidak.. kene maki lagi..

so fellow teachers, "happy" teacher's day. From the bottom of my heart.

p/s: The reason the precious daughter got asthma attack: she was crying so hard and loud as she was scolded by HEM. the reason: She was wearing "seluar kecik bawah" and HEM took that trouser and gave her kain batik instead. and she was asked to wear that kain batik. hahahahaa. ehemm. such a good and "precious" student".. :P

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:: The Removal::

Monday, May 03, 2010 | wardah bajrai

Well, I had to remove the previous entry for it had served its purpose. It's quite embarrassing to read it over and over again.. hahahahah . Nevertheless, thanks to all comments..really appreciate it (*_*)

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::love is in the air::

Friday, April 30, 2010 | wardah bajrai

If we like someone, whatever she/he does, we will "ah, sweetnye... :D" - and smile until we hurt our cheek muscle. That's how pathetic we're. But for me, it's a good pathetic.. and I like it! (and now I can't stop smiling too:D)

p/s: Read between the lines....hehehhee(smile again)

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Saturday, April 17, 2010 | wardah bajrai

If to be utterly happy is a sin, then I've sinned!

"Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy" ~Cynthia Nelms

p/s: can't agree more..

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the "M" word..

Sunday, March 21, 2010 | wardah bajrai

Sometimes, being modern, open-minded, up-dated(ayn other synonyms that go with it) is the 'it' thing now. But, traditional can be pretty interesting and exciting. Especially when it comes to "happily-ever-after thing( the 'M" word). I'm now praying and hoping that 'traditional approach' will work on me rather than the outspoken "communicative" one.

p/s: read between the lines. Don't want to be sooo obvious. :D


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walking z.o.m.b.i.e.

Thursday, January 28, 2010 | wardah bajrai

Is it too late to welcome 2010? A month almost ends yet me still thinking that myself isn't yet settled to adapt with the changes that this new year bring. For the first time after 3 years I have to be in morning session. The first week I felt like a walking zombie, felt unfamiliar with so many things-the stricter rules, the a bit well-mannered students and the list went on and on but luckily I have a friend to help me to cope with all these changes. My workload triple but to be honest, this time around, it's quite hard for me to say no. Perhaps it's a good thing, a sign that I've grown up and becoming more mature and are more ready to have more responsibility... and boring. It's true, all I think nowadays are work, work and work... even in my dream. I end up having dreams bout my work!

AFter all the works that I've done, one thing I did realize, when we did our work excellently, we will be bullied- meaning, we will be given more work but if we choose to do it half-heartedly, be prepared to be tortured verbally. I mean, what are we supposed to do... ? Can't they just give us a break. Being young is not a good reason for us to be burdened with endless workloads. Being young is about trying up new things, experiencing new experiences and now I think I've used up all my 'young' days cuddled up with never-end tasks.

And now, I think I've started to talk gibberish for while I'm writing this, I'm still thinking about my unfinished work-pendaftaran PMR. Even my friend notices that I've become less organize nowadays. Blame me not for I own not myself at this moment... see, the jumbled-up words?!! it's a reflection of my murky mind now.

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