holiday- wat to do ek...

Holiday suppose to be fun rite?! enjoyable, stress-release period and other adjectives that come with it. and I agree. 5 weeks of laze around, doing nuthin except some tedious house chores really....... how to say........... quite boring.... Betul, x tipu! 1 week holiday is not enough, two weeks, so-so, 3 weeks, ok, four weeks, just nice.. more than that, eventually boredom will take over... Unless I can go around, vacationing, spending my money without regrets and feasting my sinful eyes :)- u know what I mean eh...hehehe)

Instead I spend my holiday reading books. 2 books down already, "The Glass Palace" is on-going. But right now, I'm still thinking what to do within these 4 weeks...something which requires less money but tonnes of fun.... wat eh.......?

p/s: Ungrateful me- nanti bila naik sekolah, sibuk plak "bila la cuti.......?"

My name is T.E.A.C.H.E.R

When I first started teaching, I hate my students. Almost all of them. They're rude, ignorant, lazy, thoughtless and etc.. These were the assumptions that I always carried with me whenever I wanted to enter the class. I had to drag my feet, consoled my heart, and plastering my face with fake smile whenever I had to enter to their classes. When I was in the class, my eyes never left the watch for every second was counted impatiently. Whenever unintended incidents happened, I cursed them, silently in my heart. I tried not to smile whenever they made jokes as for me smiling was a sign of weakness. I taught them with zero expectation. As long as I entered the class, as long as I gave them works, it's fine. If people asked me why the students' performance was not good, my answer was simple: they're plain stupid. Nothing could be done. In short, I was the worst version of a teacher.

As time passed by, I began to realize that every student is precious. They're innocent creature that need guidance and help in coping with this horrendous world. They're naive. They're not stupid, just less clever and with appropriate help, they could amaze us. Now, I really love my students. They make me happy. I never feel forced to enter classes. Though I become a frequent visitor to the nearest clinic due to voice problem, I'm genuinely happy. It's more tiring now to teach for I teach whole-heartedly, but I feel satisfied. Now, I only have few more days to spend with them. Sadness is what I experience now. If possible, I want to be always with them, to watch every step that they make, so that I could always help them whenever they slip, but I know that they have to move on. I also have to move on. It's life. Moving on is what makes us stronger. I hated my students then, but I love them now.

Dedicated to all my form 2 students who're going to form 3 next year.

ha!

Bosan jaga pekse... so main internet n curi2 amik gambar budk... jgn ngadu kat kpm ek... :D

breathtaking v/s suffocating

Invigilating is very tiring. You have to wait for hours, doing nothing except observing the students. You aren't allowed to read, handphon-ing, talking etc.. but stubborn me facebook-ing instead :)
Last time I got a good school. Very easy to handle. The students were very commited to their exam. Unlike this time. 70% of the candidates were boys. Lazy boys. They wasted their time by sleeping. The whole time. They shaded the OMR paper without looking at the questions paper! One unfortunate event, a boy, a quite fat one, slept the whole hour and a HUGE drop of saliva filled his paper! and the unlucky me had to collect his paper! but still, I used up most of my invigilating time looking at the school's beautiful landscape. breathtaking. totally diff from the students. suffocating.

My Song!!! - very relevant to me...hahaha

::Raya::

I posted this entry on my friendster blog. But i think the content is still relevant.

Being the ‘oldies’, hari raya is less meaningful than the time when I was small where Hari raya was always being “the-most-awaited-event”. New baju raya, new kasut raya, duit raya, meeting cousins, uncles and aunties and most importantly my beloved grannies were around. Hari raya eve, all of us will gather at my granny’s house, glued in front of tv waiting for the announcement and when it’s confirmed we will run like crazy to tell the elders. And then, we will play fire crackers and ‘meriam’. Yes, you read it right, we did play meriam as my uncle owned one. But just a small meriam. We will play until the clock hit 12. we were tired, yes we were, but we were very happy. The next day, my sisters and I will wake up early morning, wore our best baju kurung, completed with new shoe, posing in front of the mirror (although we had done it dozens times before the hari raya), kissed our parents hands, ate ketupat and get ready to go to my grannies’ houses ( I had two grannies). And as expected, we will go and search every aunty and uncle and with much eager, kissed their hand with hidden agenda (yes …duit raya!). And if I continue talking bout my then hari raya, one page wouldn’t be enough but what I can conclude is, back then, hari raya was the most happiest moment in my life. But now things changed. My beloved grannies had passed away years ago. So no more exciting hari raya and me playing fire crackers?! God forbid! The meriam was gone too. Duit raya is much lesser now- actually none. As we are getting older, responsibilities increase and unlike when we were small, being older makes us more ‘less fun” as there are too much other things to think about.

But still, raya is raya, celebrated with “Syukur”, after one month of fasting. I’m sure that I will miss the holy month of ramadhan as it managed to train me to become more responsible towards my religion. It is during the ramadhan that we will try our best to avoid not only the ‘harams’ but also the ‘makruhs’. We tried our best to become as pious as we could, but one question to be asked? How long this piousness will last?!-at the end of ramadhan?!. Tepuk dada tanyalah iman. As for me, one “doa”, I hope I could meet ramadhan next year and be better than this year- InsyaAllah. To all muslimin , "happy fasting and yes"Eid Mubarak"or "Selamat Hari Raya".

--thank u-ramadhan-lucks-amin-----

It's been a while since the last time I logged in. Preoccupied with other matters hindered me from having a leisure of writing. Nothing much happened recently. WOrds of wisdom from my friend reminded me that I should be grateful instead of whining about things that i don't have. Thank you.Sincerely. Since now I begin to see things in a more positive way, I hope this Ramadhan can bring me more lucks. and provides me with opportunity to cleanse my ever-sinful self. Amin.

--- this entry is just a self-reflection and a thank you note-