my ramblings... just bear with it!

--moments--

Thursday, August 23, 2007 | wardah bajrai


Be like the flowing river,
silent in the night,

be not afraid of the dark
if there are stars on the sky,
reflect them back

If there are clouds in the sky

Remember, clouds like rivers,
are water
So, gladly reflect them too,

In your own tranquil depths..


-Manuel Bandeira-

I do a lot of self-reflections during this holiday. I reflect all the things that I've done-things that I regret and things that I wish could happen again. Sometimes I hope that I could play safe by choosing the path that placed right in front of me but, I opt to choose the opposite. By doing that I hurt not only myself, but others too. But I know, these are the risks that I have to take for my decisions now will bring consequences that affect my future. Be hurt now rather than be sorry in the future. Be frustrated now than feeling disappointed in the future.

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A story of an average man

Tuesday, August 21, 2007 | wardah bajrai

Here is a story of an average man. Now, he's in his sixties. He was a teacher. A good one- a teacher who always motivated his students and he loved his job very much. He's a teacher who dedicated his whole life to this profession and enjoyed every second of it. A teacher who wanted to see the best in each of his student. A teacher by heart.

He's the eldest in the family and it's something normal for him to support his family.Since he was small, he always worked hard. Every penny he earned, he will save for his family. Little did he spend for his own pleasure. Although he was busy working, he never complained and he never neglected his study too. It was his parents' proudest moment when he got an offer from UM to pursue his study. He, himself was very delighted! 5 years in UM had taught him to be a better man. Though, he never forgot his family. Most of the scholarship he received, he will use it for his family. He supported his brothers and sisters, he paid all of their school fees. Yet, he never once whining about it.

He has 3 brothers and 3 sisters and all of them managed to taste the sweetness of success- thanks to him! When he was a teacher, people labeled him as a stingy, parsimonious, "tangkai jering", "haji bakhil" and etc. Its true that he didn't like to spend money on new car. He was, in fact renovated his house on his own. Instead of using car, he preferred to use his old motorcycle to go to school. Even when he became the principal. He never changed his style. His colleagues said bad things behind his back, but he chose to ignore

Now, he's retired. He spend most of his time in his farm. Once a while, he will be invited to give talks to students and teachers. Wherever he goes, people recognize him, not as a stingy person, but as a good teacher. He is able to live in luxury but he chooses the opposite and he's happy with it. Although some people still say bad things about him, but I know he is others' hero!

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the broken-heart of mine

Friday, August 10, 2007 | wardah bajrai


Call me stupid, call me dumb, call me whatever you want, but I never asked for this feeling. It hurts, a lot. People say 'to fall in love is the best experience ever', ironically, I feel the opposite. Instead of giving me the 'over-the-moon feeling', I feel extremely exhausted with these feelings that never want to go away. I tried, not once, not twice but still the dumb me fails to realize that I could never have him as my soul-mate.

People said you should fight for your love, never give up easily but how could I be a fighter if my dream guy is out of my reach. I can only miss him, but to have him; impossible. He is like a shadow, seems so near but you could never catch it. I try to console my broken heart but it always betrays me. When I finally have the gut to forget him, his images appear. He is like a ghost, never let me have him and never let me forget him. To the Almighty, I ask for help..for my heart to be at peace again..it's hard, but I will try... I know, I could never have him, as he's married!








Zinedine Yazid Zidane, if you could hear, my heart is calling for you!!!

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