::Breastfeeding::

or I might say breast-milking (in my situation). Some people might think that giving your baby/babies your pure milk-the milk that comes from the mother- is a must to all mothers. You have no excuse, and you definitely can never say no to breastfeeding or else, you are a bad mom. And to this, I beg to differ. I always have issues with breastfeeding. With my firstborn, I was struggling very hard to breastfeed. During the first few weeks, it was my worst nightmare. In pain, tired, post-pregnancy depression, contracting high fever during confinement(bentan)- you name it. Until I went to see a paed who is also a breastfeeding consultant. she taught me the correct way to breastfeed and she was the one who noticed that my Khadeejah had tongue-tie. By  having tongue-tie, it distracted the breastfeeding process. To solve the problem, she did a small and quick surgery on khadeejah by nipping the tie. It bled a little but after that, everything was fine. At first, it was still very painful due to old blisters but later, it went well. I fully breastfed her (I pumped when she’s at babysitter) for one and a half year before I got pregnant again.

As for Fatimaa, it was easier and I managed to fully breastfeed her for more than 2 years.

However, with the twins, it’s a different story. After delivery, the twins were isolated due to breathing problem (nothing very serious though). I only managed to see them on the second day, let alone being able to breastfeed them. To be honest, I was so sad but at that time my main priority was to see both of them to be healthy. We were in the hospital for 5 days as they had to finish their antibiotics. It was the toughest period for me. Just imagine, I was still in pain (it was very painful as my uterus was still very swollen even after a week). The doctor said it was normal for twin pregnancy as the uterus was stretched to the fullest. So it took time to heal. Alone, in pain with two babies. How two breastfeed the two babies at the same time. I youtubed before, but the real-life situation was different. Through that challenging time, the nurses helped me a lot. The helped me feeding the babies with formula. Yes formula. I was okay with it as I really needed that.

pic: the babies for put under this for two day to control their breathing problem

 Once, it was midnight, on the third day at the hospital, both babies were crying. Loudly. I tried to tandem-nursing (nursing two babies at the same time) but while trying, I almost dropped one of the babies. I was so terrified and I was shivering uncontrollably (even while writing this, my heart pounded heavily). I ran to the nurse station, begging them to take one of the babies to be fed with formula. And I was relieved. So no, I don’t feel regret giving my babies formula milk. They needed that. I needed that. That is why I never judge those who do not breastfeed their babies. By choice or not.

Breastfeeding is tough. Like seriously tough. But it is also an experience that you will treasure for the rest of your life as a mother. It is one of the ways for you to bond with your little one/s. plus breast milk is undoubtedly the best milk for babies. As for me, I have saved hundreds of ringgits monthly as now I don’t have to buy formula milk (formulas are expensive!!). I don’t really direct-feeding them, I pumped regularly and feed them through bottle. They don’t like direct feeding nowadays (and it saddens me as I have lost my bonding time with them). But I am okay with it.

So mommies, breastfeed or not, it is your choice. Nobody can dictate or put pressure on you. Though it is undeniable breastfeeding/breast milk have vast benefits. Nevertheless, we know what is best for our baby/babies. And of course for ourselves as well. We do not become good mothers based on our ability to breastfeeding/breastmilking your baby/babies per say. We are supermom in our own special ways.

Knowing what's best for your baby/babies is also LOVE