tit -a - tat

Dear Abah...

2012-01-07T03:01:00.000-08:00

Dear Abah,

Last week, I bought a book by Masturah Al Attas. A book written by a daughter for her scholar dad whom she admires so much. I showed you the book and jokingly you asked me to write a book about you. How I wish I could write one but my ‘stupid’ mind is unable to fulfil your ‘wish’. Instead I choose my humble blog to scribble something about you- a man who has inspired me to brave this challenging life.

Abah,

Eventhough I’m married now, eventhough I don’t stay under one roof with you anymore, but I have to admit your shadow always accompanies me wherever I go. I may have a husband now, but you are the first man whom I know, and the first man whom I love. Nothing can change that.

Abah,

You moulded me to be what I am today. We share the same hobby- both of us love reading. Since I was small, the never failed to buy The Star newspaper and made me read it. Every single day. Once I’d finished, you would ask me on the things that I’d read. At first, it was very tiresome, but eventually I began to enjoy the Q and A sessions with you.

Abah,

When I wanted to pursue my master, you were the one who encouraged me, gave me your utmost support. When I was too tired to drive to JB after a long day at school, without any hesitation you would drive me there, not once, but several times. How grateful am I to you. Your kind and tender actions always bring tears to my eyes. Tears of appreciation. I really thank you for that.

Abah,

I can never write a book about you, but everything about you has been written permanently in my deepest heart. Nothing and no one can ever erase it.

Abah,

Thanks for everything. Thank you for being a very good father.

Abah,

I love you.

Pensil dan Pemadam..

2011-12-28T23:41:00.000-08:00

Rasa sebak je bila baca ni....

Pensel : Saya minta maaf.
Pemadam : Utk apa? Awak tak buat salah pun.
Pensel : Saya minta maaf disebabkan saya, awak cedera. Setiap kali saya buat silap, awak pasti berada di situ utk membetulkan kesilapan saya. Tapi setiap kali awak memadam kesilapan saya, awak kehilangan sebahagian dari diri awak. Awak menjadi semakin kecil.
Pemadam : Itu betul, tapi saya langsung tak kisah tentangnya kerana say......a dibuat utk membetulkan kesilapan yg awak buat. Walaupun suatu hari nanti saya tahu yg saya pasti akan hilang, saya berbangga dengan kerja saya ini. Jadi janganlah risau. Saya tak mahu melihat awak brsedih.

Ingatlah, ibubapa kita juga boleh diibaratkan sebagai Pemadam manakala kita pula sebagai Pensel. Mereka sentiasa berada di sisi kita, membetulkan segala kesilapan yg kita lakukan..mereka adalah ibarat pemadam terbaik utk anak-anak mereka..Selagi mereka hidup jangan sia-siakan mereka.

25.12.2011

2011-12-25T02:31:00.000-08:00

A year has passed. A lot of things happened in between, ups and downs, are normal when you're in a new stage of life. But, Alhamdulillah, we managed to go through all the hurdles successfully.

A year has passed. Title has changed, shape has changed but one thing has not changed though.Still feel happy whenever he's around.

A year has passed. Many places we had gone. Cameron, Port Dickson, Mersing and.........even went hiking. Those were the best moments. Trips made make us appreciate each other better.

A year has passed. I still love him, and God willing, will continue to love him..

Happy Anniversary mon.. :)

Only to Allah we ask everything...

2011-11-20T17:30:00.000-08:00

A very good video to serve as a reminder to all of us, muslimin...

the Video

eat . pray . love

2011-02-10T16:23:00.000-08:00

3 words to sum up everything :). For a start, if you ever plan to visit Mersing, make sure u bring along your telekong.. or else u'll be in big trouble. The suraus and masjids there are not women-friendly.

Since both of us are always preoccupied with piles of works, a brief gate-away is most treasured. Since I'm a big fan of beaches, he took me to the nearest beach that we could find- air papan in Mersing. The view: so-so but the moments spent together; priceless :).

We had lots of seafood. Correction- Me ate a lot of seafoods. A lot!

Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my telekong. Well, this is not the first time. Still remember, last time when me, anis and cik Juo went to Melaka. We also had forgotten to bring our telekong. We used our creativity to pray. I forgot, did we use the bed sheet? I almost did the same thing before I managed to buy a cheap telekong. Luckily! But if you are with someone you love, regardless what obstacles, everything seems fine and fun.. :) hehehehe

:: A month ::

2011-01-29T17:20:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged for a long long time. Too many blissful things happened till I almost forget about this 'addiction' that kept my mind sane for the last few years. yes, writing is like a mind therapy for me, a medium for me to let out all my angst and problems. Since I am a happy person now, I have less problem. Maybe that's the reason why I hardly write anything.

At this moment, life is a bliss. Everyday. Waking up, I'm eager to see what are the things that lie ahead of me. Everyday is a new day to me, learning new stuffs, coping with new style, adapting the new way of life. It may sound cliche, but love does change everything. and I'm starting to be all mushy2... :D. honestly. It feels good to have someone to call 'mine' now. officially mine. lawfully mine. and I'm his. It just feels nice. period.

Before, when we were engaged, we hardly saw each other. we hardly went out. We were not like usual 'engaged people'. We, almost never exchanged any lovey dovey words. or mssges. or whatever. We were this old tradition couple who waited patiently to be united.

Now, it's still hard for him to say all those mushy words to me, but when he did, only God knows how it feels. Now, we still hardly see each other for his off day is Friday. I think that's why i miss him all the time. Like now. On this Sunday morning, while I'm typing away about my life. Where he is out there, working until the dusky sky appears. But I'm still happy.

Occasionally, we go out, dating. like those teenage couples. We coyly looking at each other.Smiling. After a month, I still feel like having a boyfriend than a husband as he calls me by my name, and I call him by his. No abang, no sayang. Simple. but for me, it's very sweet. :)

"His smile was so warm, she could feel her heart melting beneath its glow"

—Breakfast In Bed

::Women::

2010-12-08T09:55:00.000-08:00

It is universally acknowledged that most women tend to do everything based on what men want. Since we were young, whatever we did, we would always use men as our measuring tapes. Even small female kids would act sheepishly in front of the opposite gender- perhaps to impress the gentle-men on how well they behave.

Women-when we were single, we did everything that we could to look beautiful. why? because we want to attract men so that we would be chosen. So that we won't be left behind. How shallow our thoughts were! Next, we bought whitening cream because we wanted to be fairer. Why? because most men like 'fair and lovely' women. We controlled our eating habit for fear that we'll end up to be like blue hyppo. And why is that? obvious reason- men like slender women; plumpy women? No, thank you. For that, we starved ourselves. For whom? for men! No matter how many excuses we created to reason our actions (for health purpose, for self-confidence purpose etc..etc), the ultimate reason- It's for men's attention and sometimes, satisfaction!

This torture to ourselves and body will continue until we begin to accept the real us, without putting others' expectation to decide on how we should conduct ourselves. I wrote this based on my own experience and my observation. I was and at times am still disappointed with how most women including me disappointing ourselves.Maybe this 'pandemonium' will never end. Perhaps women will never have control over their own body and self. Perhaps women will always see themselves as an object to fulfill men's expectations.

p/s: Pardon me, but my mind just went rambling at this wee hour.. just bear with it! :)

me

2010-10-22T21:27:00.000-07:00

Me. There are so many things that occupy my mind now. I. sometimes feel so down and yet happiness never leave me as well. I. pray that everything will be fine. Me. at this moment, at this point, at this second feel like to cry. why?. I'm not sure. But 1 thing I'm sure of. I love him. period.

p/s: The wings symbolize how I want to soar as high as possible but all the incoming but unwanted problems keep pulling me down until I almost reach my breaking point.....

Panicking

2010-09-25T17:07:00.000-07:00

Panicking. Many things have yet to be settled. So many. Kursus pun x pi lagi. haila~

::red alert!::

2010-06-05T06:42:00.000-07:00

Friday, 4 June- A form 1 student from SMK@@@@ was caught bringing ecstasy pills to school. It's also believed that she's a "pusher".

Haila, students nowadays.. macam2.. x cukup jadi pelakon jadi pusher plak... haila..~

Happy Teacher's Day! (happy ke..)

2010-05-21T07:52:00.000-07:00

This entry is not about me wishing happy teacher's day.. far from it. More like what had happened after the day we were supposed to be oh-so-called-happy. Last two days, when I was about to enter my before-recess class, a teacher came to me, telling me that there was a student who got asthma attack( since i was the teacher on duty for that day). Diligently, I when to see the student. but before I could reach the class, I heard 100 octave scream- yea from the girl who got "asthma". For an asthma patient she sure had enough oxygen to scream that loud. -even though she kept on screaming "tak cukup oksigen! nak oksigen! like 100x!- (Maybe betul kot)

well, me and the other teacher took her to the hospital. My friend drove as if he wanted to be the next F1 champion whereas that "poor actor"- wrong. patient (strictly typo), whining, screaming, shouting
"nak oksigen, nak mak nak itu nak ini.. cikgu mata saya dh nak tutup ni, saya dh ngantuk ni.. saya nak tido ni bla...bla.. and bla.." and the other two escorts- menangis la macam drama hari ini.. akhirnya, we reached at the hospital, waited for 30 min, trying to call the parents but failed to do so since the line was unreachable.. Later, a doctor came and
"cikgu balik la dulu, die x ada apa2 pun.. biarlah dia rehat kat blakang.. kita nak amik darah die so mungkin lambat sket..." kata doctor handsome itu. and we went back. I got classes ok.. takkan nak tunggu je kat situ. But we were still trying to contact her family.

At 1.00 pm, we managed to call the doted father. The conversation went like this...
HEM: anak incik tadi sakit lelah, so kita hntar pegi hospital, dia dah ok and incik boleh la ambil die di hospital
doted father: hah! terkejut knapa cikgu hantar? nape x beritahu saya.. cikgu hantar, cikgu la amik! (with "PLEASANT" voice-sebaliknye)

tapi last2 doted father amik la juga the precious daughter.

The next day, doted father came to see HEM, muka macam singa, tangan digenggam, meja dihentak2, suara macam petir
"cikgu! kenapa cikgu tak beritahu saya awal2 anak saya masuk hospital?! kalau jadi apa2 cikgu nak bertanggungjawab?! rumah saya x jauh pun ...(so?, ingat kitaorang kuli! sape suruh tak angkat telefon?! and x-rated words-membebel kitaorang dalam hati) meja dihentak2 lagi. doktor kata anak saya dah 50-50 (duh... man! i was there ok, with the handsome doctor!) dan drama hari ini episod kedua pun bermula.. malas nak layan..
lastly he said, "saya akan adukan hal ni ke PPD while taking all his precious daughter's stuffs.

US: jangankan nak ganti duit petrol, terima kasih pun tidak.. kene maki lagi..

so fellow teachers, "happy" teacher's day. From the bottom of my heart.

p/s: The reason the precious daughter got asthma attack: she was crying so hard and loud as she was scolded by HEM. the reason: She was wearing "seluar kecik bawah" and HEM took that trouser and gave her kain batik instead. and she was asked to wear that kain batik. hahahahaa. ehemm. such a good and "precious" student".. :P

:: The Removal::

2010-05-03T06:17:00.001-07:00

Well, I had to remove the previous entry for it had served its purpose. It's quite embarrassing to read it over and over again.. hahahahah . Nevertheless, thanks to all comments..really appreciate it (*_*)

::love is in the air::

2010-04-30T02:01:00.000-07:00

If we like someone, whatever she/he does, we will "ah, sweetnye... :D" - and smile until we hurt our cheek muscle. That's how pathetic we're. But for me, it's a good pathetic.. and I like it! (and now I can't stop smiling too:D)

p/s: Read between the lines....hehehhee(smile again)

::sinner::

2010-04-17T20:02:00.000-07:00

If to be utterly happy is a sin, then I've sinned!

"Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy" ~Cynthia Nelms

p/s: can't agree more..

the "M" word..

2010-03-21T00:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, being modern, open-minded, up-dated(ayn other synonyms that go with it) is the 'it' thing now. But, traditional can be pretty interesting and exciting. Especially when it comes to "happily-ever-after thing( the 'M" word). I'm now praying and hoping that 'traditional approach' will work on me rather than the outspoken "communicative" one.

p/s: read between the lines. Don't want to be sooo obvious. :D

.

walking z.o.m.b.i.e.

2010-01-28T21:50:00.000-08:00

Is it too late to welcome 2010? A month almost ends yet me still thinking that myself isn't yet settled to adapt with the changes that this new year bring. For the first time after 3 years I have to be in morning session. The first week I felt like a walking zombie, felt unfamiliar with so many things-the stricter rules, the a bit well-mannered students and the list went on and on but luckily I have a friend to help me to cope with all these changes. My workload triple but to be honest, this time around, it's quite hard for me to say no. Perhaps it's a good thing, a sign that I've grown up and becoming more mature and are more ready to have more responsibility... and boring. It's true, all I think nowadays are work, work and work... even in my dream. I end up having dreams bout my work!

AFter all the works that I've done, one thing I did realize, when we did our work excellently, we will be bullied- meaning, we will be given more work but if we choose to do it half-heartedly, be prepared to be tortured verbally. I mean, what are we supposed to do... ? Can't they just give us a break. Being young is not a good reason for us to be burdened with endless workloads. Being young is about trying up new things, experiencing new experiences and now I think I've used up all my 'young' days cuddled up with never-end tasks.

And now, I think I've started to talk gibberish for while I'm writing this, I'm still thinking about my unfinished work-pendaftaran PMR. Even my friend notices that I've become less organize nowadays. Blame me not for I own not myself at this moment... see, the jumbled-up words?!! it's a reflection of my murky mind now.

holiday- wat to do ek...

2009-11-30T16:42:00.000-08:00

Holiday suppose to be fun rite?! enjoyable, stress-release period and other adjectives that come with it. and I agree. 5 weeks of laze around, doing nuthin except some tedious house chores really....... how to say........... quite boring.... Betul, x tipu! 1 week holiday is not enough, two weeks, so-so, 3 weeks, ok, four weeks, just nice.. more than that, eventually boredom will take over... Unless I can go around, vacationing, spending my money without regrets and feasting my sinful eyes :)- u know what I mean eh...hehehe)

Instead I spend my holiday reading books. 2 books down already, "The Glass Palace" is on-going. But right now, I'm still thinking what to do within these 4 weeks...something which requires less money but tonnes of fun.... wat eh.......?

p/s: Ungrateful me- nanti bila naik sekolah, sibuk plak "bila la cuti.......?"

My name is T.E.A.C.H.E.R

2009-11-16T09:15:00.000-08:00

When I first started teaching, I hate my students. Almost all of them. They're rude, ignorant, lazy, thoughtless and etc.. These were the assumptions that I always carried with me whenever I wanted to enter the class. I had to drag my feet, consoled my heart, and plastering my face with fake smile whenever I had to enter to their classes. When I was in the class, my eyes never left the watch for every second was counted impatiently. Whenever unintended incidents happened, I cursed them, silently in my heart. I tried not to smile whenever they made jokes as for me smiling was a sign of weakness. I taught them with zero expectation. As long as I entered the class, as long as I gave them works, it's fine. If people asked me why the students' performance was not good, my answer was simple: they're plain stupid. Nothing could be done. In short, I was the worst version of a teacher.

As time passed by, I began to realize that every student is precious. They're innocent creature that need guidance and help in coping with this horrendous world. They're naive. They're not stupid, just less clever and with appropriate help, they could amaze us. Now, I really love my students. They make me happy. I never feel forced to enter classes. Though I become a frequent visitor to the nearest clinic due to voice problem, I'm genuinely happy. It's more tiring now to teach for I teach whole-heartedly, but I feel satisfied. Now, I only have few more days to spend with them. Sadness is what I experience now. If possible, I want to be always with them, to watch every step that they make, so that I could always help them whenever they slip, but I know that they have to move on. I also have to move on. It's life. Moving on is what makes us stronger. I hated my students then, but I love them now.

Dedicated to all my form 2 students who're going to form 3 next year.

ha!

2009-11-02T23:52:00.000-08:00

Bosan jaga pekse... so main internet n curi2 amik gambar budk... jgn ngadu kat kpm ek... :D

breathtaking v/s suffocating

2009-10-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

Invigilating is very tiring. You have to wait for hours, doing nothing except observing the students. You aren't allowed to read, handphon-ing, talking etc.. but stubborn me facebook-ing instead :)
Last time I got a good school. Very easy to handle. The students were very commited to their exam. Unlike this time. 70% of the candidates were boys. Lazy boys. They wasted their time by sleeping. The whole time. They shaded the OMR paper without looking at the questions paper! One unfortunate event, a boy, a quite fat one, slept the whole hour and a HUGE drop of saliva filled his paper! and the unlucky me had to collect his paper! but still, I used up most of my invigilating time looking at the school's beautiful landscape. breathtaking. totally diff from the students. suffocating.

My Song!!! - very relevant to me...hahaha

2009-10-01T12:36:00.000-07:00

::Raya::

2009-09-27T10:47:00.000-07:00

I posted this entry on my friendster blog. But i think the content is still relevant.

Being the ‘oldies’, hari raya is less meaningful than the time when I was small where Hari raya was always being “the-most-awaited-event”. New baju raya, new kasut raya, duit raya, meeting cousins, uncles and aunties and most importantly my beloved grannies were around. Hari raya eve, all of us will gather at my granny’s house, glued in front of tv waiting for the announcement and when it’s confirmed we will run like crazy to tell the elders. And then, we will play fire crackers and ‘meriam’. Yes, you read it right, we did play meriam as my uncle owned one. But just a small meriam. We will play until the clock hit 12. we were tired, yes we were, but we were very happy. The next day, my sisters and I will wake up early morning, wore our best baju kurung, completed with new shoe, posing in front of the mirror (although we had done it dozens times before the hari raya), kissed our parents hands, ate ketupat and get ready to go to my grannies’ houses ( I had two grannies). And as expected, we will go and search every aunty and uncle and with much eager, kissed their hand with hidden agenda (yes …duit raya!). And if I continue talking bout my then hari raya, one page wouldn’t be enough but what I can conclude is, back then, hari raya was the most happiest moment in my life. But now things changed. My beloved grannies had passed away years ago. So no more exciting hari raya and me playing fire crackers?! God forbid! The meriam was gone too. Duit raya is much lesser now- actually none. As we are getting older, responsibilities increase and unlike when we were small, being older makes us more ‘less fun” as there are too much other things to think about.

But still, raya is raya, celebrated with “Syukur”, after one month of fasting. I’m sure that I will miss the holy month of ramadhan as it managed to train me to become more responsible towards my religion. It is during the ramadhan that we will try our best to avoid not only the ‘harams’ but also the ‘makruhs’. We tried our best to become as pious as we could, but one question to be asked? How long this piousness will last?!-at the end of ramadhan?!. Tepuk dada tanyalah iman. As for me, one “doa”, I hope I could meet ramadhan next year and be better than this year- InsyaAllah. To all muslimin , "happy fasting and yes"Eid Mubarak"or "Selamat Hari Raya".

--thank u-ramadhan-lucks-amin-----

2009-09-06T23:10:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since the last time I logged in. Preoccupied with other matters hindered me from having a leisure of writing. Nothing much happened recently. WOrds of wisdom from my friend reminded me that I should be grateful instead of whining about things that i don't have. Thank you.Sincerely. Since now I begin to see things in a more positive way, I hope this Ramadhan can bring me more lucks. and provides me with opportunity to cleanse my ever-sinful self. Amin.

--- this entry is just a self-reflection and a thank you note-

my student - the future-reader

2009-08-15T10:55:00.000-07:00

Today is Saturday and I have to got to school. As usual. ‘ganti’ for Deepavali. Percentage of attendance (students)- 50%.

Yesterday, my colleague caught a student wrote a letter. Not just a normal letter. A letter to her form teacher. Explaining the reason why she ‘was’ absent on Saturday (Today). Here is the snippet of the letter.

Guru Kelas Tingkatan 1xx

Saya anak tidak datang hari Sabtu kerana sakit perut.

Interesting. She can predict her future (sakit perut pada hari sabtu). And she becomes the mother as well.

Me- maybe I should ask her to read my palm and predict my future :-D hehehe

entry depress :(

2009-08-09T02:50:00.000-07:00

me- just got back from KL. enuf of cuci mata and cuci telinga. haila!, seeing other people cruising their life happily, envy hits me.. i shoudn't be like this, i should be happy rite?! why?! and why?!

p/s: entry depress...

..hitting the resume button after stuck with the pause...

2009-07-29T10:25:00.000-07:00

----lenka: the show-----

Been super busy lately. Always thought of scribbling somethin but at the end, too sluggish to do so. But, have regained the momentum. Halo back! to all dearests, I have "dis-attached" now. sad? not really... free? truly am! So now, my options are wider..hehehe.. so, to all my dearests 'singlees"-term for my single friends-I'm still on the run for the ultimate prize!

p/s: afzn, next time i'll see you, the first thing that I'll do is signing the agreement coz i have a feeling that it'll be mine (*_*)... and seriously, I feel more happy now....

I LOVE MY FRIENDS

2009-06-17T21:49:00.001-07:00

My friends are great. All of them. They never failed to make me happy. Whenever I’m with them. Laughter always a must whenever we’re together. Before, I never took any meeting or occasion involving my friends seriously. But they kept on reminding me on how important our friendship is. So, thanks to them, I’m now an appreciative friend.

Moments with them always filled with updates, latest juicy gossips as well as ‘advices’ and also bout ‘love nest’ (seriously I still find it sounds kinky!).... especially from the soon-to-be experts (anis and juo..hahahaha). Though they liked teasing me (especially about ‘pokok besar’, ‘u-turn’ and roundabout’). While I was bit pissed-off but honestly, I didn’t mind at all. I took it as a compliment since whenever they see roundabout, I have an instinct that they’ll remember me (*_*)

I will always miss the moments I shared with them. Each one of us will eventually start a new life, taking steps into more challenging sphere, being bugged with other responsibilities, meeting with new people, making new relationships, building new memories but one thing I’m positively sure, forgetting what we had is an impossible. Totally. At least for me.

Juo, selamat – future- pengantin baru. Forgive me for my inability to come though my heart is yearning to meet you again. And the rest. See apartments, remember me k….

Anis, selamat jugak. Insyaallah, yours I’ll come. Insyaallah. And please anis, I think you have to find another new idea to tease me (instead of ‘roundabout’…)

Afzan, the boss. My ever charming boss. Nak naik kereta lagi…..

And for the rest, I’ll pray to Allah that we’d be able to meet. Again. And again.

- little update -

2009-05-27T18:04:00.000-07:00

2 weeks ago, anis ym-ed;
"w, awk lupa password awk ke?"
me, thinking for a while, and *ting*, hah, anis is being sarcastic!
me:" anis, a very good one!"

The truth is I have so much to talk about but bila on je computer, all the thoughts and the will to write, simply disappeared . Plus, for the past two week I was so busy attending courses.- standardla, once you become you need to go to various courses; some even don't relate to your field at all. However, I did enjoy one of the courses that I attended. "the Effective teaching and Learning Course" which was held for two days really opened my eyes on ways to teach English effectively, especially literature. To be honest, I always like this type of course since it always provided us-English teachers- with relevant methods, approaches and even materials in teaching English. They didn't ask us to use grammar-translation approach, or communicative approach or other idealistic approaches which most of the time almost immpossible for me to use it in my classes. These courses were conducted by experienced teachers, who have taught for years, who have encountered with various situations and have handled students from different backgrounds.Ttherefore, they understand what I and other teachers encountered (er) in our daily teaching.

Here, is the link to a blog which is managed by one of the facilitators. She is a "Guru Cemerlang" and believe me,s all her method, approaches and materials are seriously good and relevant!

englishOasis

:: when we were younger and naive' ::

2009-04-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

They hate ENglish

2009-04-25T08:08:00.000-07:00

When I went to induksi last year, one of the facilitators said, "I hate English so much because of my teacher. He did somethin that I won't forget and forgive". - I got nothin to say at that time.

Last week, a senior English teacher in my school scolded a class of students. She made almost all of them cried. I didn't know what she said to them for I couldn't hear. Later, she told another teacher that these students had made a "huge unforgiven mistake", and as the denda, they are required to write "I won't cheat in English class anymore"; 10, 000x. yes, you read it right,
10, 000 x!!. And they're given 2-3 months to finish this denda. But, wait! the denda belom habis lagi. After the 'incident', everytime she gives the students work, they need to copy each question and answer 15 x. Even if it's an essay. That's not all. They are even instructed to attend detention class (which mean they have to stayback after school until 4.30 to 5.00 pm) for I don't know how long.

The mistake? During a class presentation, they're required to have a q&a session whereby they need to ask questions to the presenting groups and then the presenting groups were supposed to provide answers. For most of these students are low to intermediate students, what they did was, they prepared everything before the presentation. Meaning, the presenting groups had chosen few people to ask ready-made questions in which case they also had prepared the answers. and the teacher noticed this! come on, like we never did this during our 'U" days?! we did it almost all the time! But we never got that kind of harsh punishment! But these students, just because the couldn't 'act' naturally, they're punished -i like to say- severely!

One more thing. These students are form 3 students. Meaning, at the end of the year, they will sit for their PMR exam. And instead of focusing on all the subjects EQUALLY, they're "forced" to "focus" more of English.

Now, I know why a person can hate English just because of a teacher. And you won't believe the type of language she used when she scolded them. Unimaginable.. ( I didn't hear at that time, but I heard before when she scolded other students... several times)

he..

2009-03-29T23:48:00.000-07:00

Basically, he annoys me. A lot. In fact he always mocks me and said I'm 'not clever', childish and many more. Many times I told myself that I had enough. But he always managed to find his way back to me. He is arrogance and very honest. Extremely honest! and most of the time his honesty scarred me but to my surprise it's his honesty that attracts me the most. Last night, he called me 'unique' - in not a good way, immature and etc. I said "we're so off!". He sms-ed me " you are, (unique, immature, etc) but you are also a sweet bear.. (am i suppose to be angry or flattered?!) and why on earth did I smile when I read this message..???!!

imbroglio, jam, mix-up, muddle,

2009-03-12T05:37:00.000-07:00

I am in a muss right now. It's not right for me to whine bout what happened in school when actually I feel happy when I'm with my students. There's other thing that invaded my mind now that makes me sick. In order to forget it, I blasted my job! I'm such a mess!

A person gave me this...

"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were. "

and I feel even sicker..

:: from johor with love::

2009-02-15T06:41:00.001-08:00

:: ripping off::

2009-02-04T08:42:00.000-08:00

The other day, I ripped off my student's book. Maybe not the whole book, just a page but it managed to make the whole class turned into silent mode (kalau pemadam jatuh pun bleh dengar). I wasn't (am not) proud with my action right until this second for I couldn't forget that student's appalled and doleful face. Maybe I wasn't thinkin right at that moment but believe me when you've become a teacher for more than 2 years, this 'unfavourable' moment will sure be added into your memories collection.

I told my fellow teacher friend bout this 'accident', trying to seek for her approval of my action. To my delight, she consoled me by saying, that's a normal thing to do for a teacher, especially when you're a more-than-one-year teacher. With students' attitude, pressures from the management and the authority, the never-end workloads; being a b***h teacher is normal. It's NORMAL!

Other things that I've noticed after 2 years of labouring;- my voice becomes louder, my actions become bolder and my body becomes wider (though this one not related but it rhymes with the rest ;-) )

I do not plan to change the adjectives above from comparative to superlative but one thing I do sure, time will sometimes change you; whether you like it or not.

you can kill them but not their faith

2009-01-09T22:24:00.000-08:00

30th Dec 2008

2009-01-01T06:16:00.000-08:00

Last two days, I woke up (as usual 10.00 a.m; since it's a school holiday), went downstairs, poured me a cup of coffee and happily read the newspaper. After 15 minutes, suddenly, I felt uneasy. Before this I was pretty sure that my first staff meeting will be held on 31st Dec. In fact I told everyone about this. But that morning, I felt like something was wrong. That day was 30th Dec. I ran to my room, I checked my hp- got two misscalls from my senior teacher. and a message from my friend- "wardah, ko pegi mane?". Oh my God! it's not tomorrow, but Today! and the meeting started at 8.00 am and now is 10.30 a.m! oh.My.God! OH.MY.GOD!

At that moment, I was frozen. Not know what to do. Today's meeting was very important! It's THE meeting. I planned to go to the clinic to ask for M.C. I had no choice. I SMS my friend, asking her whether the meeting'd finished or not. and she said no. I pleaded her to inform my boss that I had to go to the clinic. Asthma attack! of course I got asthma. I drove to the nearest clinic and upon arriving, I decided not to 'tipu' anymore. "just face the music". trying to convince my super worried mind. so, straight away I drove to school while reciting all the doas and prayers that I know. Finally, 10.55 am. I'd arrived and quickly walked (actually half running) to the meeting room. knocked the door, checked the time-11.am, took a deep breath, I peeped in . all eyes on me. went straight away to MRS.BOSS. "sori puan, saya kene lelah tadi, pegi klinik sekejap" and she said "duduk dulu". still, all eyes on me. Me- tried to look sick. coughing. a lot. tried to breathe with difficulties.(i was such a good actress..i was proud of myself) and the meeting went on as if nothing had happened. at the end of the meeting. my senior teacher said to me: ha..i warda, lupa ke ....?- 'perli tone". Me-- coughed again....and smile meekly....

2008-12-29T06:06:00.000-08:00

Anak kecil itu menutup telinganya,
matanya dipejam rapat-rapat,
hati kecilnya terus berdoa
tanpa henti
kehangatan dari pelukan siibu masih terasa.
kemudian,
dentuman besar menggegar sekelian alam,
dirinya terasa begitu ringan,
seakan berada diawangan-awangan,

Tapi,
dia masih tidak tegar membuka matanya
kerana dia pasti,
pandangannya akan ditutupi dengan merah darah
yang bersemi di segenap bumi bertuah ini
tubuhnya tiba-tiba terasa sejuk
rasa kehangatan dari pelukan ibu telah hilang
dia kaget,
"mana ibu?," jerit hati kecilnya
perlahan-lahan matanya dibuka
asap dan api bersatu di mana-mana
tanah bertukar menjadi sungai darah
"tapi ibu masih tiada"

Dalam jerit pekik mereka yang lain
dia menangkap satu suara
"suara ibu itu," terletus bicara dari bibir mungilnya
dicarinya arah suara itu
melangkahi tubuh-tubuh hancur
langkahnya dipercepat

Nun di suatu sudut
kelihatan tubuh siibu terduduk lesu
keringatnya sudah menjadi merah
matanya terpejam rapat
Namun,
mulutnya masih basah dengan Nama Yang Maha Kuasa
tangan ibu dipegang dan dicium
"ibu, bangun ibu!"
rintih si anak kecil
dalam kepayahan, siibu bersuara

"Janganlah engkau mengira bahawa orang-orang yang gugur dijalan Allah itu mati, bahkan mereka itu hidup disisi Tuhannya dengan mendapat rezeki" -Ali-Imran:169

Disaat habisnya lafaz itu, siibu pun menghembuskan nafasnya yang terakhir
dan sianak kecil itu
bangun menadah tangan
dan berikrar

"Ya Tuhanku, perginya ibuku hari ini
adalah permulaan bagiku
untuk berjuang di jalanmu...."

-wardah_albajrai-

PETUA

2008-12-11T04:40:00.000-08:00

Dari e-mail .. menarik terutamanya petua-petua tertentu....

Petua-petua di bawah ini adalah petua turun temurun yang diceritakan oleh rakan-rakan. Aku kumpul dan compile jadi satu, senang nak rujuk kemudian hari. Mungkin ada yang dah pernah mengamalkannya. Apa salahnya kita berkongsi.
Sebelum aku teruskan, ada satu pesanan. Kalau tak yakin, jangan ikut. Petua-petua ini tidak mendapat pengiktirafan dari badan-badan kecantikan dunia. Hanya mendapat ‘pengiktirafan’ dari nenek moyang sahaja. Amalkan di bawah risiko anda sendiri.

Kurangkan peluh di wajah
Basuh wajah hingga bersih kemudian lap hingga kering. Seterusnya ambil ketulan ais dan lumurkan ke wajah anda hingga beberapa minit. Tunggu sehingga kering dan kenakan solekan pada wajah seperti biasa. Peluh di wajah akan berkurangan dan wajah anda kelihatan bersih berseri-seri.

Buah pinang atasi kegemukan
Masalah gemuk dan badan berlemak memang merunsingkan. Ada cara untuk mengatasinya. Buah pinang muda yang lembut dibelah dua lalu dicuci sebersih-bersihnya. Masak air dalam belanga. Rebus pinang muda hingga mendidih. Biarkan air rebusan pinang muda sejuk sebelum meminum airnya. Kesannya anda rasa lebih mudah membuang air besar dan semua lemak di dalam perut akan keluar melaluinya.

Melembabkan wajah
Sepotong tembikai yang masak dan sejuk diperah untuk mendapatkan jusnya. Tapis dan simpan jus tembikai di dalam bekas. Pupuk perlahan-lahan hampas tembikai ke seluruh wajah dan leher. Biarkan sehingga kering lalu percikkan sedikit air sejuk. Petua ini dipercayai dapa melambatkan proses penuaan dan menjadikan kulit awet muda.
Nenas putihkan kulit
Ambil bahagian dalam nenas yang keras (palu) lalu digosokkan pada kulit badan. Bilas tubuh sebersih-bersihnya. Amalkan setiap pagi dan petang. Insya-Allah, kulit akan menjadi putih dan berseri.

Rambut selembut sutera
Untuk memperolehi rambut selembut sutera serta mudah disisir, amalkan cara ini. Sekiranya anda bercadang membasuh rambut pada keesokan hari, lurutkan rambut dengan minyak bijan sebelum tidur. Keesokan harinya syampu rambut dan bilas sehingga bersih. Lap rambut anda sehingga kering lalu dirapikan dengan menggunakan minyak bayi atau minyak zaitun. Jika anda berambut lurus, anda boleh menyikat terus rambut anda sebaliknya bagi anda yang berambut kerinting biarkan seketika barulah disikat agar rambut tidak terputus dan bercabang.

Hilangkan bulu ketiak
Tumbuk lumat 15 biji jintan putih bersama lima butir kapur barus. Campurkan sedikit minyak tanah lalu disapukan pada bahagian ketiak.. Lakukan beberapa kali. Insya-Allah, bulu ketiak akan hilang selepas mengulanginya beberapa kali.

Kulit cantik dan putih
Inginkan kulit cantik dan putih? Anda boleh lakukan sendiri di rumah tanpa perlu ke salun kecantikan. Caranya sangat mudah iaitu dengan hanya mengisarkan 1 cawan kelopak bunga mawar, 1 cawan kelopak bunga melur, 1/2 cawan oatmeal, 1 cawan susu putih, dan 1/2 cawan badam sehingga halus. Campurkan bahan yang telah dikisar ke dalam air mandian dan mandi seperti biasa. Seterusnya bersihkan tubuh anda dengan menggunakan air suam.
Selamat mencuba!
Wallahu a’lam.

Yoga- Don't get emotional

2008-11-27T07:12:00.000-08:00

Due to recent hiccups (yoga and pengkid), I think it's my call as a Muslim and as a Malaysian - who believes in equality and freedom to all races and religions in Malaysia- to share my inner thoughts regarding the much discussed issues. It hurts me when the Fatwas were(are) being ridiculed by certain parties and to see how people bickering on what I perceive as small issues. Take Yoga issue for instance. I cannot believe how close-minded certain people are when dealing with this issue. They got all emotional, attacking each other without anyone seems to be wise enough to come up with a solution. I mean, seriously, they are a lot more stuffs that need to be attended rather than fighting about ‘one type of exercise’.

To be honest, if you ask me, whether I think that the fatwa on yoga should be issued or not, I would say no. For me, a Fatwa only need to be issued when a REALLY serious issue/problem occurs and it could affect Muslims –directly or indirectly. A fatwa is a much-respected decree and shouldn’t be used easily to handle such a minor problem. But, when a fatwa is issued, every Muslim should adhere to it, without any protest- whether they like it or not. But like what Dr. Mahathir said, “Whether the Malays (Muslims) follow it or not, that is really their business”. As long as they are not complaining. What National Fatwa Council should do is telling and explaining to the Muslims about this issue first. They shouldn’t jump on the boat directly. Of course it will shock the people especially those who’re lack of knowledge and easily get mislead. Plus, the authority should have more faith on Muslims in Malaysia. They will not easily be influenced to change the religion just by learning Yoga.

Sometimes, I just don’t understand. They are people who always like to criticise every move made by the government. Though I’m not a big supporter of our local government, I choose to be pragmatic when it comes to this. First thing first, I think this issue was/is over-played by the medias- be it the medias who pro with the verdicts or those who're against it. I am also (honestly and sincerely) bewildered with the reactions from the non-Muslims. As far as I know, this fatwa is for Muslims only but we can see that many non-Muslim are against it and at the same time be angry with it. At this point,I have to agree once again to what Tun M has said when he was asked to give comment on this issue.

"KUALA LUMPUR, Nov 25 (Bernama) -- Former prime minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad today urged the relevant parties not to turn the National Fatwa Council's decision to bar Muslims from practising yoga into a religious issue.

"If they (National Fatwa Council) believe it is wrong, then it is wrong. It is unfortunate that other people think that it is a slur on their religion. It is like saying Muslims should not eat pork, and it is not an insult to the Chinese. It is the same when Muslims cannot do yoga. It is not because they are insulting the Hindus.

"It is just that they should not do it. Whether the Malays follow it or not, that is really their business. Other people should not make it a religious issue. Like all other things forbidden among Muslims, it is not an insult to others.

"But people want to make an issue of this. I feel very sorry. Personally, I don't care very much if you stand on your head or stand on your feet. It is not as if by performing yoga you immediately become a non-Muslim."

And what our dearie Prime Minister has to say bout this…
“ Muslims can after all practice the Indian exercise regime, so long as they avoid the meditation and chantings that reflect Hindu philosophy” – for the first time, I agree with him.

Unexpected Event..

2008-11-25T18:11:00.000-08:00

'every thing happened for a reason'- this what my friend told me. I, still in a state of shock, upon hearing a death of a person that I know. He was brutally beaten to death. Some people are waaay too crazy to done such inhumane act. But like I said before, maybe there is a 'hikmah' behind this incident. I just hope that it won't happen again. I feel sympathy to the victim, victim's family, victiom's fiance and the doers' families too. Future seems pretty bleak for them (except the victim). I just can pray that they will be strong and tough facing this unpredictable situation.

break*****

why do people willing to kill in the name-oh-so-call love?! That's not love, that's craziness!

link 1:

link 2:

hip..hip..horray..

2008-11-14T06:51:00.000-08:00

School holiday is here! This is the time when all teachers will grin widely, and aim to forget all about school stuffs. time to rejuvenate! time to press the refresh button again! time to not be or act like teachers! time to be a normal human being again (yes, sometimes teachers need to transform themselves into unrecognized creatures due to students' attitude!)

To all teachers, happy hoooli-holiday! Do enjoy yourself! Do forget anything related to the word s.c.h.o.o.l!

.... and I'm grinning widely...uncontrollably...

Forgive me..

2008-11-03T06:19:00.001-08:00

I had a friend, or a colleague I might say. She was 4 months pregnant when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Doctors couldn’t do radiotherapy or chemotherapy because they didn’t want to affect the baby. Friends advised her to abort the baby but she refused. Friends talked to her husband with hope that he could advise his wife into abortion. Friends were surprised to learn that it was her husband who actually refused to allow his wife to do abortion with a reason- the embryo has become a complete fetus . Most friends blamed the husband for being selfish, ignorance, cold-hearted and compassionless. The husband remained calm. After few months, the baby was born, lifeless. A day after that, the mother died. I attended her funeral. I saw her final face. She looked very calm. So did the husband.

There are few things that I’ve learnt from my friend’s story. I, once blamed the husband too for his willingness to let his wife suffer just to save the baby, an attempt which failed at the end. I blamed him for I’m a woman who dislikes to see other woman suffers. So, being a sympathetic person who is driven with emotion, I blamed the husband. But soon, I realized, or remember, to be accurate, in Islam, there are few things that could never control. One of them is death. We could never predict the date and the time that we will meet our Creator. Maybe tomorrow and maybe after 50 more years. We, humans, will never know. So, if my friend, even if she aborts the baby but she is destined to die on that particular day, with or without the baby, she will die too- maybe less painful. So, I decided to retract all the blames. And according to Islam, InsyaAllah, she will be in heaven since she was willing to sacrifice for her own child. InsyaAllah.

Besides that, I also did realize that, when I heard about her death, one thing that straight away crossed my mind. did I ever badmouthed her before, did I ever talk behind her back before, did I ever ‘mengumpat’ her before? And I realized that if I ever did, I will be in sin forever since I could never ask for her forgiveness anymore. I was very afraid since I do know that ‘mengupat’ is considered one of the biggest sins in Islam. Since she was in morning session, and I in the evening, we were hardly talked. So, I was quite sure that I hadn’t talk bad about her. Plus she was always a good person.

The story about my friend here prompted me to do this thing- to ask forgiveness from all people. If I ever done anything wrong, if I ever said something bad; directly or indirectly, I apologize, sincerely from the deepest of my heart. I’m afraid if I couldn’t ask anymore if my time or your time has come.

Syawal- month of.....?

2008-10-17T09:20:00.000-07:00

Syawal is always known as a month of forgiveness and celebration. and I do believe we also perceive Syawal as a month of food and eating. Strings of open houses, marhabans, countless jamuans that held during this month proved this claim. I have to say that I'd worked hard during ramadhan to shed few kilos from my plumpy figure but only to be frustrated when I gained a lot more kilos during Syawal. I blame not the food for it's my self control that I have trouble with. So now, I hope after the end of Syawal, I could restrain myself from consuming uncontrollable amount of food. But, oh, I forgot, December is just around the corner I do believe that the eating spree will continue since December always been a suitable month for annual lunch/dinner and kenduris. I guess food and me are really best friend..whether its Syawal or not.

xoxo---selamat hari raya---

United Kingdom kids

2008-10-13T20:57:00.000-07:00

Two students from UK (united kingdom) enrolled in today. It was the hottest topic of the day. Students were (still are) ‘jakun’ since before this they never encountered with ‘malay mat saleh’. These two students although they’re Malay, they speak more like David Beckham.. first question asked by one of them- “teacher, can I get lost in this school?” with a distinguish accent. Teachers- especially Math and Science teachers are becoming anxious now.. comments like
- “malulah kalau dia betulkan grammar”
- “macam mana kalau dia ckap “teacher you said the word wrongly” and so on…

…. And I- merely a silent observer….

Weekly recap

2008-10-07T17:57:00.000-07:00

Last 2 weeks….

- Monday
Nothing interesting happened. But wait, at night something did happen. A form 4 student threatened to kill herself. Reason- she can’t stand with the hostel’s rules. But, we suspected something else.. something fishy… she even said to her friend that she’s ready to get married now and if her family chooses not to accept her anymore, her boyfriend will accept her and she’s keep on wailing…. Erm…

- Tuesday.
At wee hour, the girl, ran from the hostel. The guard who was making morning round, saw her but didn’t manage to catch her. She was seen following a guy. When her mother was informed, she told us that that was her daughter’s “abang angkat”.
Erm…..

- Wednesday.
The girl was kicked out from the hostel and from the school. Served her right (bad-bad teacher)….

And….

Remember about the scrawny girl that I told before….. well, guess what, her father pulled her out from the school.. so, a future of 14 years old girl is officially ruined by her own father.. biological father…. erm…

And

A 14 years old student, cursed loudly at the school's counselor… she screamed the word c***i… she was suspended for a week later…. erm….

- Thursday
Form one student, came to school only to follow another older guy later. the guy was described as ugly and old by her fellow friends who saw the incident… called her mother… as usual … “saya ingatkan anak saya kat sekolah” …erm…..

This week..

Monday…
- confirmed… the girl… form one student..was raped… by that older guy.. and we was informed that the girl have known the guy three months ago… and we’re not sure whether it was the first time or…..

I luuuuuuuuuuurve my job soooooooooooo much…. Seriously…

C.H.A.N.G.E.S

2008-09-07T08:39:00.000-07:00

Changes are never easy to swallow. People who are willing to cross the waves of changes are brave people. Making changes is unnerving decision too. It requires continuous support and a deep sense of responsibility. It also can be very dreading for those who’re still afraid to embrace changes. But with constant self-reminder and the thought of wanting prosperity that can be shared by every layer of people, changes can provide satisfying outcomes. Nothing could trump the sweetness of these outcomes if they do come alive. I, merely an observer, sometimes become anxious to see the results of these changes. It’s normal, based on my humble opinion that an early stage of every change , commotions and nervousness happened. Voices of disagreement add spices to this hocus-pocus. But for me it is actually a signal of work-in-progress. Progressing toward a better life- based on the changes that had been dreaming for some time. During this critical time, we are not to chide and blame each other.

What I can say is – be consistent and tolerable; all sides. There’s nothing wrong to loosen certain ideologies in order to compromise with others as long as the main objective (s) of each side is (are) not affected. Don’t be selfish and greedy when it comes to power and allow not element of prejudice jeopardizes the still-fragile coalition. There is a side which is waiting to see the destruction of these c.h.a.n.g.e.s – they are eager to applaud even to minor damages. Do not allow them to break this tie. Compromise. All of you. Please assure us that we could taste the sweetness of the changes that we’ve longed for years……

Inspiration..

2008-09-07T07:58:00.000-07:00

For the past few days- or weeks I might say, it seemed that I’d lost the ‘zeal’ to blog. So many things had happened and it clouded my thoughts. Though I looked comfortable accommodated, I was not very tranquil in my mind. Sometimes, there were indeed strings of words involuntarily built inside my head, but to on my computer and start typing… I was waaaay too sluggish.So, instead of corrupting my blog, I opted to dug out my ancient treasure when I stumbled with ‘this’

I read it, every word, every comment ....

until I opened the last page….

these words inspire me....

SHE

2008-08-14T06:54:00.001-07:00

She is 14 years old. She possesses a petit and scrawny body. Her pale complexion shows that she’s always in misery. She hardly talks, sometimes we can see a tiny smile decorated her innocent face and few times you can hear she mumbles unrecognized utterances. She is not a good student; if you look at her academic record. If you open her bag, only few grubby books will be found and malodorous smell will fill the space. She has few friends or perhaps none. During recess, she walks slowly to the canteen watching her classmates eat. To buy something, she hardly had any cent. When the bell rings, she goes back to her class with an empty stomach. Her face grows paler. She looks sick but when asked, she just shook her tiny head. She never irons her clothes. Her rumpled and yellowish uniform alienated her from her peers. Yet, she never complains. In class, when teachers teach, she looks blankly to the blackboard. She understands nothing. When the students are asked to do some exercises, she takes out her book and scribbles unreadable sentences and sometimes she draws unspecified pictures. She is alone all the time. Teachers try to help her, but whenever asked about her problems, she changes herself to a statue. Teachers give up. Teachers called her mother. Her stepmother picked up the phone. A stern voice with impolite tone heard. Teachers discussed about her ‘daughter’ problems. From her answers, teachers know that the ‘mother’ doesn’t care about the ‘daughter’. Teachers called the father, asking the father to come to school to discuss about his biological daughter’s problems. “I’m too busy” was the answer teachers get.

So, how can teachers help the pitiful student?

Orang bawahan mula bertanduk..

2008-07-30T09:03:00.000-07:00

Malam ni aku cabut lagi dari asrama. Hehehe..but big boss didn’t know..this week, hanya satu malam je aku spend waktu kat hostel.. sometimes I feel pity to my roommate. But I told her, kalau malam me on duty and she- off duty, she can go back.. but she said never mind so it isn’t my fault right.. I don’t know why I couldn’t stand live in hostel…. I’m a homey person… ‘homey’ rasanya btol kot.. even during my university days, I went back almost every week.. just ask my friends..slalu je kene sound ngan mc yan… sori ek yan…. Teringat plak kata pengetua aku – semenjak dua menjak ni my boss’s face always 'appear walau tak diundang' in my dream.. menakutkan..

ok… she said this when she asked a.k.a forced me to stay at hostel.. when I said couldn’t stay at asrama coz my mom depends on me to do all the chores.. she said ‘kalau awak kahwin nanti pun tinggalkan rumah jugak kan…’’ btol jugak… homey mcm mana pun, sooner or later ….maybe…maybe I have to say good bye to mi casa but.. I think lama lagi….hopefully..

A nice pic

2008-07-28T19:15:00.000-07:00

My uncle is a talented artist. He takes pic differently. This one, I just love it...

TRY CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO MAKE IT BIGGER..NICE..

Bila orang bawahan mula melawan...

2008-07-27T23:34:00.000-07:00

My boss is quite autocratic. She’d assigned me with two big tasks within a short period.

Friday- until 6.40 pm; got class. Later that night- 8.30p.m. until 1.00 got a program for asrama students. Tomorrow morning, 7.30am- 2.00pm another ‘bina sahsiah program’. Straight away after that got to teach as usual until 6.15 p.m. so, I went to see her to ask to be excluded from one of the programs.

Me- I hope you can excuse us – me and another warden- from the morning program since we think its too packed. Can u ask another teacher to replace us…

She – ala.. u two are still young . ‘penyapu baru’.. for sure you can do it.

Me – but puan, there’re lots of other teachers who’re free from any task. Please puan, just the morning task..

She – wardah, supposedly, not until you got confirm you cannot say no.. awak patut cakap ye je..your prestasi will be ruined – bear in mind that she’s the one who’s going to write my prestasi and indirectly she’s threatening me….. again…. And again..

- seriously I was/am fed-up with her keep on threatening me and others; non-confirmed teachers.

Me …losing my patience..

Me- puan although I have yet been confirmed, you cannot treat me like this..before this I never defied any of your order.. yes, I have to follow your order but you also have to be reasonable

Her – raising her voice one octave… ‘awk ni dah pandai melawan ek…

Me- tried to calm myself…not defying just stating my right..as my mom always told me to do so…

Her – your mother is not a teacher and you shouldn’t ‘mengadu’ whatever happened in school to her..

Me- she’s my mother and of-course I will tell her everything but puan, once again, I didn’t mean to defy your order, I just want you to consider…

The argument lasted for a few minutes..at last she said.. ‘I will consider it..’…finally but remember wardah.. 'jangan nk melawan je/….’ she said that with a 'tak puas hati' face/

Me – only this time puan..

Later that evening, during the meeting..she said in front of others…. ‘wardah awak ni berkira jugak ek buat keje…’

Me…. Malas dah nk layan..at least she knows now that she cannot ‘trample’ me easily now.. like I said before… ‘I will stand for my right’

Nasib org bawahan

2008-07-16T05:41:00.000-07:00

2 minggu lepas. pengetua, penolong kanan, hem..panggil masuk bilik..
kesnya- 'merayu' aku jadi warden.. cis.. mula2 ckp baik2... bila je aku kata tak nak, mula la diorang guna kuasa veto..

'wardah, awk belum confirm lagi, nanti kalau nak confirm, prestasi saya tulis' dan pengetua aku pun tersenyum simpul -- ugutla tu
aku--- bengang gila, terus keluar bilik 'big' boss tu

2 minggu kemudian- pengetua nampak aku..wardah, mcm mana duduk asrama ... bleh tido
aku plak tersenyum- sebab aku tak masuk pun lagi..tapi aku tak ckapla..

tapi sekarang aku dah duduk..dah dua hari, mcm nak nangis je.. aku lagi nak nangis bila hari pertama aku duk sana, berkali2 ayah aku call...ngadu lapar, tak de org dah nak masak..siap nk belikan rotan untuk aku belasah budak asrama tu..

aku cakap ' abah nk suruh anak abah masuk paperke...' dengan selamba ayah aku reply..
'biar, tak yah jadi warden lagi' .. sayu aku..nampak sangat ayah aku yang lembut tu sanggup jadi violent sebab rindu kat aku...

mak aku lagi best, janji nk tepon ppd..nak complain..maklumlah bilik ppd tu mcm bilik bestfriend dia..

hari ni aku cabut dari asrama... aku dah x peduli lagi pasal prestasi aku... rezeki kan kat tangan Allah...

lupa plak..masa aku kene panggil oleh tiga big boss tu, sempat lagi pengetua aku tanya, wardah, balik umrah ni takde ke kurma ke kismis ke utk saya... aku- dah la bengang, minta2 lagi plak '' sorila puan, budget tak cukup''

a must see

2008-07-13T05:26:00.001-07:00

shopaholic..

2008-07-09T08:21:00.000-07:00

Not enough being an ardent fan of shopaholic series, I've become Rebecca Bloomwood now. After throwing lots and lots of money on my every-weekend-vacations (cameron, teluk batik, langkawi..), I had only few ringgits left with me. though I'm totally broke, I couldn't stop myself to buy another shoe today..now, how am I going to survive until 25th July (payment time).. petrol....food...guess, puasala bulan ni... I'm totally a spendthrift.. and now I'm a vacation-sucker too..

broken now but still plan to go somewhere else next month....an interesting place..

hopefully..

Trip 27-29 Jun

2008-07-03T18:36:00.000-07:00

teluk batik -lumut- cameron highlands..

this weekend..... perlis and perhaps langkawi too

'life's a journey, keep on walking and never stop'

Teacher story - being sensitive

2008-06-22T08:50:00.000-07:00

I am a sensitive person. Cry easily- reason why my sister hates watching sad movies with me. I blatantly sympathize to other people and easily get hurt or be offended by what people said. That’s my numero uno weakness. I’ve tried ways to mend this problem but until now, I am a failure.

Maybe not totally a failure, since now after being a teacher for more than a year, I can say that I’ve becoming too-soft-hearted-person no more. My students teach me to become what I am today. I teach five classes filled with students from diverse background and attitude. Some students are saintly good, but some- evil than devil. Their words, like sharp knife thrusts straight to your delicate heart. Utterances such as…………

‘cikgu ni jahatla, saya tak suka cikgu…’

‘ala cikgu ni, asyik membebel je……….’

‘asyik suruh tulis je, boringla…..’

….. and many more…..

- if two years back, upon hearing words like this, I would run to the bathroom and cry like a hopeless baby but now, I didn’t feel a thing… except sometimes it does hurt, a little- just like a bee-sting. That’s it. For I know, the next day, they will forget everything that they’ve said and when they see me, they will wave happily while cry out loud ‘ teacher la yang paling la best’ or if I dress up a bit ‘ teacher la paling cun’ – betul! And I would smile and forgive them…

But, a ‘good crier’ – a title I wish to preserve…

Pilgrimage part 2

2008-06-15T19:07:00.000-07:00

Before I went to Mecca, I got lots of advices...reminded me to be careful with my words and actions while in the holy site. They said, in Mecca whatever you said or did, you will be paid--cash (meaning you will get punished immediately). These advices at times, scared me for I know I am a person with sins. I was afraid that I will be punished there. But, at the same time, I also believe that God is Forgiven and Merciful. He knows what inside our heart. with that believe, I went to Mecca with aims.. to clean my murky mind and heart. To submit myself fully to God. To think about nothing but only God. But, a human I am, and its human's nature to go against most of the good things and to broke promises. I notice that its wrong for me to set unattainable goals like above for I'm not ready yet and to be honest I don't know when I would be ready. Only Allah knows. My dad said to me, a month before that: "its wrong to think that you want to change yourself only when you're in Mecca. and to do all the good things, to submit yourself to God only when you're there. The truth is, you must be prepared before that. months before that. you have to cleanse you soul and change your hedonistic lifestyle, and try to get nearer to God before you go."

But, stubborn me, I did not take the advice seriously. I have to say, its true that I felt calmer there, I felt that I can pray with tranquil heart there, I felt more secure there but I regret that I couldn't fully submit myself to God, and to think about nothing but Allah.. It seemed that my sins hindered me. So, I hope next time, when I got the chance to go there again, I can be more prepared; physically and mentally. If God's willing...

Kisah 3 Beruang

2008-06-11T08:16:00.000-07:00

sebenarnya bukan 3, kalau campur mak nya..4 la beruang.. mak beruang dia leader...
it all started bila kitaorang masuk plane from kl to karachi..excited...cari la tempat duduk my sister 1 24 A, sister 2- 24 C, me - 24 D, sister 3- 24-E --- the seats' numbers.. cari punya cari..sampailah..tiba 2 tempat duduk kami dipenuhi oleh 4 beruang dengan muka selamba nye. me-'excuse me, these are my place my my sisters' '. mother beruang - 'boleh tak u all cari tempat lain, anak2 makcik nak duduk skali la.. me- furious-- called the steward, showed him my ticket and insisted that i wanted to sit there, with my sisters. the steward, to the beruangs - sorry, please move to your own seats please.. the beruangs- dengan muka tak puas hati pun terpaksa la berpisah. me- smile triumphantly! hahahahahaah!

well2, that's not the end....

In Mecca, sometimes we traveled by bus. One time, my sisters and I decided to 'cop seat belakang sekali. so, dengan embernya, we all, as fast as we could naik bus and memilih tempat mengikut citarasa. Suddenly, my mom came and said 'tadi umi dengar the 3 beruangs bising tempat dia kene amik -of course lah my mom tak panggil tiga beruangs. we---'hello, ada nama ke seat2 atas bas ni. so we decided to ignore and not too long after that, mother beruang came to us, 'boleh pindah tempat tak, anak2 makcik nak duduk sini la'. we- stubborn sisters- ignored her. finally, she gave up.

cerita blom habis lagi...

On the way back to kuala lumpur,once again- deja vu.. when i reached at my seat, guess who 'dengan selamba' sat on my seat? yes.. the beruangs!!!!! ish!!! i ask them to move..politely.. but this time around father beruang said 'boleh tak nak tukar tempat, satu depan ni je satu lagi, depaaan sana tu.. cis.. I was about to call the the steward, once again before my kind-hearted dad interfered...'ada masalah ke? father beruang - 'boleh tukar tempat?' my dad- 'boleh, tak apa, wardah duduk je depan'. me- eeiiiiihhhhh!!!!! beruangs!!!!!!!!!

Throughout the journey, i cursed them...habis semua pahala2 wat umrah!

MORAL: bila naik flight..berhati2 la dengan beruang2 pencuri tempat!

Pilgrimage

2008-06-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

Some people say that we only go to Mecca when we are mature enough, so that we can 'beribadah sepenuh hati'. Me- fortunate enough to got the opportunity to visit the holiest site for Muslims before I get older. Praise to the Almighty. It was a very memorable journey. Many fortunate and unfortunate events had happened- which i see it as tests from God.

I can describe my two-week journey as a journey of purification and self-reflection. To be honest, its not easy to live in a country where the average temperature was almost 44 degrees. To walk under the scorching sun requires a tough body and mind. At times, I almost gave up but to think back that this pilgrimage was not cheap and I had to cross more than 2,000km to be there, I forced myself to be strong.

Throughout the journey, I did write sometimes, just to fill the free time especially while on the plane. tapi banyak merapu je la. From the not so scrumptious food to the handsome stewards who served me (a girl will always be a girl!).

There's also a story about a family which my sisters and I labeled them as tiga beruang. why... later.. just to think about those 'tiga beruang', mendidih-didih darah.. so, I shall share the pieces sedikit demi sedikit..

Umrah

2008-05-26T09:45:00.000-07:00

InsyaAllah, my family and I will go to Mecca tomorrow to perform umrah.. mohon maaf di atas segala keterlanjuran and mohon didoakan selamat pergi dan kembali... amin

a d***n camp..

2008-05-22T09:16:00.000-07:00

Seriously...

kenapa pihak pentadbir sukeee membuat decision di saat-saat akhir without consulting orang-orang dibawahnya. dan dengan sewenang-wenangya memberi tugas tanpa mengambil peduli agenda orang lain. me. planned to go to KL this weekend. but. my dearest senior teachers happily organizing a camp for the students- which is good since it is called as 'kem integrasi: (this integrasi issue is being debated everywhere). but. ayat power mereka " diharap cikgu-cikgu muda +bujang dapat memberi kerjasama sepenuhnya..termasuk tidor di khemah" (and menjadi pengawal tak bertauliah!) blimey! I have a plan already! -screamed. inside only lah..

So, perhaps i have to cancel my plan to go to KL this weekend. plan to escape the camp but since me- 'orang penting'- a 'no' is totally out of question. so friends, blame me not for I cannot attend the much awaited function. I don't know when can I see my friends again.. hopefully soon..

p/s: but actually, I have few plans on how to excuse myself..hope it will work!!(hehehe)

to A.U.. congrats! to Nees, i know yours is just around the corner..congrats too..

blimey!

BIRO TATANEGARA

2008-05-13T17:30:00.000-07:00

I've just finished my BTN course (Biro Tatanegara). What an experience! Besides being brain-washed days and nights - they did try to cleanse your mind by instilling their ideologies almost every second!, I personally did enjoy the experience that I gained. Never in my mind thinking that one day I had to cross a muddy river and to do other rough activities continuously. My body was aching-until now but I didn't feel any regret. Its totally a valuable experience that I think I could never gain anywhere else.

I have to admit, 4 days there, it does change some of the ways of how I see things. If before this, I always being over-negative about certain things, now, I think I can see things from different angles. From now on, I will try not to be too judgemental and at the same time preserve my critical thinking. The one thing that I most regret while attending the course was my inability to express my thoughts and ideas freely. Being a person who loves to read and has some knowledge bout certain issues (hmmm), I felt frustrated for I cannot share whatever I have in mind due to the nature of the course. My inner self wanted to object some issues discussed and raised but my gut restrained me for I was afraid of being failed by them. What a coward! I hope they could be more flexible and open rather than being too 'berat sebelah' and skeptical.

Another thing, personaly, I pity the minorities. Most of the facilitors they liked to talk about Malay supremacy or Malay sovereignty in which sometimes they went overboard. I could see that most of these minorities they wanted to object but cowardice ruled their mind and my mind too. Everyone wants to pass this course and if it means you have to wear a mask, or pretend, then you should do it.

However, all in all I do enjoy it but if they ask me whether I want to go again, I'd rather pass. and for those who haven't gone, do prepare ; mentally and physically...

Misinterpretation

2008-05-05T19:03:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I notice lately people alway interpret wrongly on whatever I write in which sometimes it scares me a lot- to write anything. If they realize that some writings are merely self-expression at that particular time - no more, no less . And I do appreciate when there are people who notice it but unfortunately, there are people who perceive it differently from my original motive...

Perhaps next time, I should be more careful on whatver I write so that people won't interpret it wrongly..seriously, i'm tired of explaining...

This message is dedicated to ais---

When we write, we need to follow our heart- this is what I believe la.., and sometimes we do follow our mind, but we rarely choose the later one. Or perhaps maybe its only me.. its up to us to decide. However, by using our mind, I sense that we were to be more polite, more immaculate and even become more restrictive in which i don't like personally. But I believe if we write anything from our heart, we will get a sincere piece..but..there is a con tagging along..our piece can be too personal or 'case sensitive' or people might understand it wrongly - my main point..in which I get a lot lately.. I'm not trying to be insensitive but regrettably, its hard to change something which defines you.. I understand by choosing to stay like this, I might hurt people or perhaps get wrong interpretation and I have to do a lot of explanation which is rather tiring- but I still will do it, but the good thing is, I can stay original.

induksi..

2008-04-16T18:29:00.000-07:00

it is a must to every fresh goverment servant to attend an induction course. Basically, we have to prepare our body and mental for this 12-day torturing course.curently, i'm on the 7th day... i have another 7 days more to go..i'm so tired, mentally and physically..but .. because we got wireless connection here, the torture becaome slightly bearable.. to be honest, i did (d0) enjoy few moments from this course..for example; i manage to secure few new friends, learn how to dance-pocho-pocho, and a few other things.. it does enhance my knowledge on few things bout rules and regulations that we have to know and follow as goverment servants.. for those fellow friends who haven't gone for your induction... your time will come and seriously, eventhough its tiring...u still can enjoy the course..and remember at the end of the course, there will be an exam where u have to get least 50 marks to pass the course...urghhh!!

p/s: i'm writing this while one of the guests is busy explaining about ''what is 'dokumen rahsia kerajaan'"....

TOLERATION AND MODERATION IN ISLAM

2008-03-18T02:40:00.000-07:00

- by Tun Dr. Mahathir Muhammad "TOLERATION AND MODERATION IN ISLAM" I am deeply conscious of the honour of being invited to speak at this august and ancient seat of Islamic learning. I am aware that despite my efforts to learn about the teachings and practices of Islam, I am in the presence of those who are truly learned in the subject. I accepted this invitation because I hold very strongly to my religion and I regret the perceptions about it both by non-Muslims and Muslims which have lead to Islam and Muslims being vilified, being associated with unsavoury activities and even made fun of. All these perception and vilification are due not to Islam itself but to the interpretations given to it by Muslims and non-Muslims with vested interest, wanting to justify the wrongs that they have done or intend to do. Our religion is perfect but we are not perfect. It is our imperfections and refusal to adhere to the true teachings of Islam that has lead to the decline and to the unfortunate circumstance that Muslims worldwide are in today. 2. I would like to thank the University of Al-Azhar for inviting me to speak on the topic of "TOLERATION AND MODERATION IN ISLAM". This is a very pertinent topic given the fact that Islam as a religion and Muslims as a community are currently being equated with intolerance and extremism not just by non-Muslims but even by some Muslims of professedly liberal views. 3. Islam as preached and propagated by the Prophet, Muhammad s.a.w. is a tolerant and moderate religion. This is evident from many of the Prophet's sunnah, by his attitude towards those members of his family who did not embrace Islam, by his attitude and treatment of the peoples of Mekah, his former enemies when Mekah surrendered to him, by his injunctions against the ill- treatment of prisoners, of Muslims who had erred and even of apostates. In none of these was he extreme and rigid. In all he showed understanding, moderation and tolerance. 4. At no time did his tolerance and forebearance manifest themselves more than during the drawing up of the Treaty of Hudaibiyah. We know how the jahiliah citizens of Mekah ill-treated him and his followers, how they prevented the pilgrims from Medinah from performing the haj. We know too how arrogant were the Mekans when the treaty was drawn up, rejecting the inclusion of the Unity of Allah and the Prophethood of Muhammad in the text. His followers resented the behaviour of the jahiliah. They wanted to reject negotiation, to reject the words and the terms of the treaty. But the Prophet, Muhammad s.a.w. prevailed and accepted the text of the Treaty of Hudaibiyah and sealed it. He was not just being diplomatic and wise but he was showing the greatest degree of toleration and moderation even in his dealing with his bitter detractors and enemies. And we know what happened in the following year. He and his followers entered Mekah without much resistance by the citizens and they all eventually accepted Islam. He was magnanimous to them, even to Hendon who had eaten the liver of Saidina Hamzah at Uhud. And the behaviour of the Prophet at Mekah won over all the Arabs of the whole Peninsular so that they all embraced Islam and united into one ummah. From then on the spread of Islam as a faith and as the motivating spirit to build an empire could no longer be resisted. Such was the significance and the miracle wrought by moderation and tolerance for Islam and the ummah. 5. In case we still doubt that Islam enjoins us to be moderate and tolerant, doubt that the Prophet followed the injunctions of Islam when he was magnanimously tolerant and moderate to his followers and to his enemies, let us look at what the Quran says about moderation and tolerance in Islam. Surah Al-Mumtahinah, Verse 8 says, " Allah forbids you not, with regard to those who fight you not for (your) Faith nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them: for Allah loveth those who are just. " Surah Ali-'Imran, Verse 159 says, " It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them. Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (Their faults), and ask for ((Allah)'s) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou has Taken a decision put thy trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him). " 6. The Constitution of Medina encouraged cooperation and solidarity among Muslims, Christians, Jews and others. The Constitution which was put in writing ensured freedom, including the freedom of worship, equality and justice for all. Thus in Surah Al-Kafirun, the non-believers were told, " To you your religion, and to me my religion. " 7. It was the same teachings of Islam which united the Ansar and Muhajirin into "an ummah distinct from all other peoples of the world", but he also referred to the Jewish clans who allied themselves with him, as "an ummah along with the Believers", even though each continued to practise its own faith. 8. One of the most significant teachings brought by the Prophet to the Arab tribes was the futility and the wrongness of the eternal feuds. We know that before Islam these tribes fought against each other continuously over some slight or quarrel that they had had in the distant past. They had even forgotten the reasons for their quarrels but for generations they would remain enemies and would attack each other whenever they met. They were wholly consumed by tribal loyalties and hatred of each other. 9. This fanatical unquestioning espousal of tribalism and a tribal cause through generations can only result in wasteful fighting, disunity and weakness. Islam condemns fanaticism which invariably leads to and is associated with extremism, lack of moderation and tolerance. Certainly one of the greatest achievements of the Prophet and of Islam was to bring the tribes together, to give them a new common and sensible loyalty and to enable Islam to spread eventually worldwide. In Surah Ali-'Imran Verse 103, inter alia Allah says, "And remember with gratitude Allah's favour on you, For ye were enemies And He joined your hearts in love, so that by His Grace, Ye became brethren". 10. The loyalty to Islam was not fanatical. It was based on reason, on the knowledge that unity brought strength and enabled success to be achieved. It was a loyalty that tolerated differences even in the practice of Islam. It was not rigid. Only if the articles of faith, the acceptance of the one Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and that Muhammad is his Prophet are rejected is a person no longer Muslim. Today there are literally millions of non-practising Muslims but they are still people of the faith because they have not rejected the Oneness of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and that Muhammad is his Prophet. We accept them as our brothers praying that one day their hearts will open and they will be practising Muslims once more. And indeed today we see millions who were forced to give up Islam or had lived in an anti-Islamic environment returning to Islam with such great ardour, fighting against terrible odds in order to protect their belief. 11. But do Muslims follow the teachings of Islam regarding tolerance and moderation? The answer is "Yes". The vast majority of Muslims throughout the world are faithful to the injunctions of Islam to be tolerant and moderate. But in any society, in any grouping and in any religion there will be the 'black sheep', the exceptions to the rule. 12. There are Christian extremists more cruel and intolerant than Muslim extremists. We see them in Bosnia-Herzegovina, raping, torturing and killing fellow Slavs simply because these Slavs are Muslim. Historically of course, the Spanish Inquisition which lasted 300 years exhibited an extreme degree of intolerance on the part of Catholic Christians. In Ireland religious intolerance among Christians resulted in a long-drawn out war. And the Christian militia in Lebanon wrecked that jewel of a country. 13. We see intolerance in the Jewish state of Netanyahu and some of the Jewish religious parties of Israel. Forgetting their own oppression by the Christians of Europe, they oppress the Arabs of Muslim and Christian faiths and confine them to ghettoes in the same way that they were themselves treated by Hitler's Germany. 14. The Hindus and the Buddhists are also given to extremism leading to intolerance and oppression of others not of their own faith. 15. No one has a monopoly of tolerance and moderation. In any society, in any religion there will be aberrations. We are tempted to label everyone in a society with an abberant minority with the same label. And having labelled we then proceed to act in a manner that reflects our prejudices towards the whole of that society. 16. Within the Islamic community, the ummah, we must admit that we have a fair share of aberrations, of extremist intolerance and immoderation despite the fact that these are against the teachings of Islam. And as is usual we, the Muslims, are all tarred with the same brush by our detractors. The unfortunate thing is that quite often the extremist and the intolerant have gained such power over their own communities that they are able to influence almost everyone with their perception of things. And so among non-Muslims, in particular the ethnic Europeans, there is almost total belief that Muslims and terrorists are one and the same thing. They perceive Islam as a religion which preaches intolerance and immoderation no matter how we try to explain that it is not, that it is due to misinterpretations, that it is as much an aberration as the Inquisition was to Christianity, as much as the cruelties and intolerance of the Serbs are not typical of the Eastern Orthodox Church. This unfortunate perception of Islam persists. 17. Do we need to worry about how others, in particular our detractors perceive Islam and the Muslims? I think we should worry. When the Prophet received his wahyu, the first followers came from among those who see in Islam a means of salvation. The Jahilliah community was intolerant and cruel and given to infanticide, to taking innumerable wives of dubious legality, to ill-treatment of slaves and servants and prisoners, to oppression of the rich on the poor, the strong on the weak. Islam preached salvation of the oppressed, just laws, abolition of infanticide, limitation of wives to four, equality between the wives and a host of other teachings which would create a better society. And so the oppressed turned to Islam and Bilal the oppressed slave was among the first to accept Islam. 18. Whether we want to spread Islam or not, we have a duty to explain Islam to Muslims and non-Muslims alike. We have to explain it in such a way as to reduce the wrong perception of our religion that is now common worldwide. But the best explanation, the most convincing argument is through demonstrating visibly the true teachings of Islam with regard to tolerance and moderation, and the rejection of fanaticism and extremism. 19. Islamic justice is based on equitability between crime and punishment; roughly exemplified by the aphorism, 'an eye for an eye'. But what is less known but nevertheless equally strong a principle is the stress on moderation and the quality of mercy in the dispensation of justice. 20. The Quran repeatedly enjoins us to be considerate and merciful. It gives the person wronged the right to demand equity, to demand an eye for an eye, a life for a life but it also provides for compensation in lieu of , for forgiveness and mercy. An eye for an eye is not mandatory. It merely evaluates the crime and the appropriate punishment. In Surah Al-Maaidah, Verse 45, Allah says, " We ordained therein for them: Life for life, eye for eye, nose for nose, ear for ear, tooth for tooth, and wounds equal for equal. But if any one remits the retaliation by way of charity, it is an act of atonement for himself. And if any fail to judge by (the light of) what Allah hath revealed, they are (No better than) wrong-doers. " 21. Allah is Merciful and Compassionate. Can we really believe that He does not want us to be merciful and compassionate? To be merciful and compassionate requires tolerance and moderation. Certainly the single- minded quest for revenge, the consuming desire to inflict upon our enemies what they have inflicted upon us is not in keeping with being Merciful and Compassionate. 22. If we are to correct this image of Islam, if we want to banish the perception that Muslims are implacable enemies, intolerant, immoderate and extreme then we must demonstrate a willingness to forego the desire for revenge, for unmitigated violence. Killing each other and killing others in order to emphasise the depth and strength of our commitment to our struggle may succeed in drawing attention to our grievances, but they will not lead to the success of our struggle. We know that the more the injustice and the oppression that are heaped upon us, the greater will be our determination to fight on. Similarly the more we inflict the same on our enemies, the more determined they will be. And the greater will be their resistance. We will not win that way unless of course it is not winning or success that we are after but the desire to seek revenge for the sake of revenge, to satisfy our animal desires. 23. It is therefore imperative that we cultivate the values of tolerance and moderation that are enjoined upon us by our faith. We know that the Quran says that failures and wrongs are due to us and that success comes from our Creator, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. So far we have failed. We have failed to regain our past glory. We have failed to protect ourselves. We have failed even to keep up our strength and our knowledge. All these are due to our own faults, faults which emanate from our failure to adhere to the teachings of Islam as contained in the Quran and the verified Hadith. It is not due to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, to what He has ordained for us. 24. But there will be those who believe that they are truly following the teachings of Islam because they perform all the rituals and more, because of their superficial appearances being compatible with what they think is the image of Islam. I do not question the strength of their faith. But Islam is not just about rituals and appearances. Islam is a way of life, Ad- din. And the way of life is reflected not just in religious piety but also in those characteristics of tolerance and moderation in all that we do. 25. How can we pray and then go forth to seek revenge against fellow Muslims by slaughtering them? They may not pray as much as we pray, but can we really know whether they have gained less merit than we have? Surely only Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will know who adheres more to the teachings of Islam, we or they. Can we then take it upon ourselves to pass judgement on the Islam of others, to punish these people and in the process weaken Muslims and allow those who are against Islam and the Muslims to triumph over us? How many times have Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala repeated in the Quran that we may not assume that those whom we condemn are less pious than us, that they may be even more Muslim than us. Our condemnation of others is in fact a reflection of our intolerance and that certainly is against the teachings of Islam. Verse 11 of Surah Al-Hujuraat, makes this quite clear and I quote: " O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): Nor let some women laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has believed: And those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong. " 26. Islam is a pragmatic religion. It is not meant as an imposition on the followers. It is not meant to bring hardship on them. Thus In Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 256, Allah says, " Let there be no compulsion in religion. " and in Surah Al-Maaidah, Verse 6, Allah says, " O ye who believe! When ye prepare for prayer, wash your faces, and your hands (and arms) to the elbows; Rub your heads (with water); and (wash) your feet to the ankles. If ye are in a state of ceremonial impurity, bathe your whole body. But if ye are ill, or on a journey, or one of you cometh from offices of nature, or ye find no water, then take for yourselves clean sand or earth, and rub therewith your faces and hands, Allah doth not wish to place you in a difficulty, but to make you clean, and to complete his favour to you, that ye may be grateful. " 27. We know that not all Muslim communities live in countries with a population one hundred percent Muslim. Today more and more Muslims are living in non-Muslim countries, in non-Muslim communities. There are things that a hundred percent Muslim community can do which cannot be done in a community in which the Muslim majority is small, or indeed in which they are a minority. Those Muslims living in a purely Muslim country must remember that in this shrinking world anything that is done in one Muslim community or country will affect the lives of other Muslim communities. 28. We may, in a largely Muslim country be intolerant and oppressive towards the few non-Muslims in our midst. But we must always remember that this may affect the lives of those Muslims who make up the minority in another country. We would not like these Muslim minorities in so many countries to suffer because of our actions against the non-Muslims in our midst. 29. True sometimes even when we are fair and just, tolerant towards the non-Muslims in our midst, Muslim minorities in other countries are still oppressed. What did we do to deserve the atrocities against Muslims in Bosnia-Herzegovina and elsewhere? But the ways of Allah are beyond us to reason. What we do know is that we are far from living up to the way of life as enjoined by our religion. We pick and choose those teachings which can justify our desires and disregard those which would show that we are wrong. 30. In Malaysia, Muslims are in the majority, but only just. More than 40 percent of our population is made up of non-Muslims. Under British rule, the races were separated from each other physically and by occupation. The separation was augmented by religious differences, the Malays being entirely Muslims, the Chinese Buddhist or Taoist and the Indians Hindus. Clearly all the elements for conflict were there when independence forced the races to come into contact with each other. 31. But the tolerance and moderation of Malaysia's first Prime Minister Tunku Abdul Rahman brought the ethnic-based political parties under one coalition, the Alliance. The racist extremists left the Alliance to form alternative parties. But the majority stayed with Tunku Abdul Rahman and the resulting coalition won the first election held under British rule and subsequent post-independence elections. In 1969 race riots broke out because political unity was not enough to overcome extreme economic disparities. The violence and the killings did not last long. Within a year the leaders, especially the Muslim leaders calmed their people by drawing up a policy to correct economic imbalances. Since then there has been no race riots of any kind in Malaysia. Attempts by extremists, both Muslims and non- Muslims to stir up feelings of intolerance and hatred failed. The Government curbed any tendency towards religious extremism through judicial and psychological persuasion. 32. Today Malaysia is stable and peaceful. Not even attempts by foreign elements to stir up racial and religious extremism, to destabilise the economy and recreate economic disparities between the races have succeeded in bringing the forces of intolerance and immoderation back. 33. As a result Malaysia has been able to develop fast. The economic wealth, the technological knowhow, the administrative skills have grown among all, including the Muslims. Today the Muslims are as capable in administration, politics, science and technology, in business and in industry as are the non-Muslims. 34. Malaysia's Muslims believe in moderation and tolerance because that is what our religion tells us. That is reciprocated by the majority of the non-Muslims. Indeed they actively support the Muslims in order to enable them to achieve the same degree of development and success. Tolerance and moderation have therefore paid off handsomely for the Muslims in Malaysia. We see not just a religious dogma in the teachings of Islam but truly a good way of life. 35. Tolerance and moderation is clearly a part of the teachings of Islam. If we ignore these teachings then we will not only be sinning but we will be depriving ourselves of the benefits of Islam. If because of this we fail, if we become weak and oppressed, we have only ourselves to blame.

Puisi Pagi Ahad: Tuhan, Terima Kasih Memberi Kami...

2008-03-09T11:28:00.000-07:00

A simple poem by Faisal Tehrani....

(Untuk mereka yang tidak mahu kalah dan putus asa, mereka yang tidak mahu menerima kekerasan sebaliknya kelembutan, untuk mereka yang rebah tetapi bangkit kembali, untuk mereka yang tidak mahu dihambakan, dan meraikan kemerdekaan; untuk Malaysia)

Tuhan, terima kasih memberi kami rasa percaya, bukan ragu
Tuhan, terima kasih memberi kami rasa nekad, bukan gentar
Tuhan, terima kasih memberi kami pengorbanan, bukan kerehatan
Tuhan, terima kasih memberi kami kerendahan diri, bukan keangkuhan
Tuhan, terima kasih memberi kami keikhlasan, bukan kepura-puraan
Tuhan, terima kasih memberi kami kehalusan, bukan ketakburan
Tuhan, terima kasih memberi kami dugaan, bukan pengabaian
Tuhan, terima kasih memberi kami amanah, bukan kecelakaanTuhan, terima kasih memberi kami kesungguhan, bukan kelekaan

Tuhan, terima kasih memberi kami kebajikan, bukan bencana
Tuhan, terima kasih memberi kami keselamatan, bukan kesulitan
Tuhan, terima kasih memberi kami keamanan, bukan kehuru-haraan
Tuhan, terima kasih memberi kami kemakmuran, bukan kemelaratan
Tuhan, terima kasih memberi kami ganjaran, kerana pahala-Mu terlalu melimpah
Tuhan, terima kasih memberi kami tangisan ini...
Terima kasih Tuhan memberi kami dengan begitu banyak
Bimbing kami Tuhan supaya kami tidak melakukan kejahatan,
tidak melakukan penyelewengan, tidak melakukan keganasan
demi keserakahan

Malaysians have spoken!!

2008-03-09T00:48:00.000-08:00

"They have tasted their own medicine!! and they couldn't even smile now!"

Malaysians are not stupid. You can deny our rights, our voice but you couldn't deny our power. together, we're strong. eat back everything that you have said arrogantly! now, let us show you the way out and you can sleep all the way too (since you loove to fall asleep!!!) we are tired of your conspiracy, you stupidity and how you spend our money on your so-called for-rakyat-projects. I pity you!. you make us racist, by threatening us!. You tried to fool us, you control all the mainstream medias-hoping that rakyat will buy with all your propaganda, and you're too pompous. but, you forgot, we didn't rely on ur medias now..we have our own 'channels'. we're post-2000 voters and we're clever enough to see the truth. I am Malay, a Muslim but without any regret or hesitation voted for a DAP candidate. and I'm proud of it! Please, learn something for this 'tsunami'. please, don't be arrogant, you wanted to recapture one but instead you lost another four. our prayers have been answered! Alhamdulillah..

Small Wave Turns To Political Tsunami

Posted by kasee

KUALA LUMPUR, March 9 (Bernama) -- What was first thought as a small wave has turned into a political tsunami following the outcome of this general election.

Barisan Nasional (BN) lost four states -- Penang, Kedah, Selangor and Perak -- apart from failing to wrest Kelantan.BN component parties, especially Gerakan, MIC, PPP and MCA, lost heavily in their attempt to grab parliamentary seats. Political analyst Associate Professor Dr Mohamed Mustaffa Ishak believed national issues such as the country's leadership, family involvement in politics and business, Hindraf and price hike were the main factors that contributed to the results. It seemed that urban Chinese voters were not happy with such issues and the urban Malay also followed the trend. He said the choice of candidates, Umno internal bickering and poor BN machinery and strategies have also contributed to the scenario.

"The rakyat has now translated their votes into real protest," he added.

An abnormal high percentage of silent voters of between 35 and 40 percent compared to the normal average of 20 percent swayed most of their votes for the opposition. Mohamed Mustaffa said the outcome of this general election was worse than the 1969 general election. Although BN secured only 51 per cent majority to form the federal government in 1969, the only state lost then was Kelantan compared to five states this time, he said. He believed that BN did not expect this kind of defeat as the coalition thought they were encountering a "small wave" only in Penang and some resistance when trying to capture Kelantan.

"They underestimated the rakyat's strong sentiments towards the national issues that turned into tsunami," he said. He believed that the opposition too did not expect such a big win.

Mohamed Mustaffa said Umno counterparts such as Gerakan, PPP, MIC and MCA were hard hit by the national issues. "They lost not because of their own problems but the national issues and the contributing factors," he said. In Penang, the failure of Tan Sri Dr Koh Tsu Koon to groom a good successor and to come up with a credible line-up also added to the changing political landscape in the state, according to Mohamed Mustaffa.

"This has created an uncertain situation in the state," he said.

"The message is loud and clear. The rakyat want to see changes... all sorts of changes."

Umno, Mohamed Mustaffa said, needed to re-evaluate itself and carry out a major overhaul in order to retain its relevancy.

"If not Umno will be wiped out in the next general election," he said.

As at 4.30am, election results are still being updated and BN has yet to secure the two-third majority. BN should thank Sabah and Sarawak for delivering seats as expected and saving the coalition from further humiliation, said Mohamed Mustaffa.

we need to apologize

2008-03-09T00:47:00.000-08:00

‘I’m scared la warda’

‘why?’

‘I was so angry just now and I pulled the student’s ear’

‘I afraid that the parents will come and complain”

I had this conversation with my colleague on our way to punch out the card. I could see from her face that she was nervous. She forced a smile while talking to me. I can understand her feeling. We, teachers always face tough situation like this- our hands are tied. No one wants to protect us. Whatever happen to the students, its our fault. What actually happened to my friend was she subconsciously pulled a student’s ear. I know, she won’t do it on purpose as she knows the consequence. But, we are only human and our patience also have limit. Students nowadays are not like us before. They are rude, stubborn and big-head. To make things worst, they are well aware that they are ‘untouchable’ – so they feel that they can do whatever they want. Us, on the other hand, have to bear with all these with patience. We shall not be angry although they student call names at us, throw to us their wicked look and many more.

Than goodness, the parents didn’t come. Or else she has to trouble herself to give explanation. And seek for forgiveness..

Another story, also a friend of mine. She’s young, pretty and kind. She teaches Maths. She also a soft-spoken person. She hardly scolded her students and most students liked her. One day we were shocked when a parent called our evening supervisor.to complain. He said that his daughter had strained her foot. This ‘situation’ happened because she had to do ear-squatting for countless time. And our shock doubled when he said that she was punished by her maths teacher(the kind, loved teacher). We never expected and when the teacher was confronted, she said she had to punish since the girl hadn’t do any of her work. To make things worst, the girl without any qualm, did another teacher’s work while she was teaching. But the teacher insisted that she never wanted to hurt anyone. She just couldn’t find ways to punish this troubled student. She cannot touch her, so what she could think of only ear-squatting. I, personally know the student as I am her form teacher. I know what kind of students she is.. ‘desperate- for- attention-kind’. And until now I am not fully convinced that the ear-squat had hurt her foot. But my friend, after the accident, had been in remorse state for weeks, she hardly talked to anyone, she became de-motivated, never smiled and had became a passive person. She even had to apologize to the ‘victimized’student. Yes, APOLOGIZE! NOWADAYS, TEACHER HAD TO APOLOGIZE TO HER STUDENT! Damn!

sekilas pandang..

2008-01-25T08:43:00.000-08:00

susahkan bila kita terpaksa menidakkan sesuatu yang kita betul2 nak.. sesuatu yang we could never replace but still we have to say NO since we don't want to be a bad person... memang sakit bila benda tu ada di depan mata tapi de kerana rasa tanggungjawab...we just let it slips away... hard and very hurtful....

We need to reform our system!

2008-01-25T08:36:00.000-08:00

Seriously…lately I’ve been posting things which are not directly related to me since I haven’t had the mood to talk bout myself. There’s nothing much to write. Everyday, things go the same for me. I have to deal with different sorts of situations in which eventually makes me realize that life is not always beautiful. Since most of my hours in a day I spend in school, I cannot help myself to write about all the fortunate and unfortunate events that happened in my dearest school.

Yes, schools have re-opened for almost a month now. So, its normal for me and other teachers like me to be extra-ordinary busy handling all the not-suppose-to-be-our-job works.. All the clerical works that wasted most of our precious time. But since the government pays my salary, and as an obedient gov-servant, I’ll do my works with ‘open heart’(though sometimes- and most of the time, I do complain), but so far, I’ve finished all the works assigned – a pat for me. And being a teacher gives me the opportunity to discover a lot of things that happened around me that I’ve never realized before. Things that manage to open my sleepy eyes. Among the things are:-

1) School fees- when the government announced last year that all of the school-fees will be abolished, people especially parents from low-income community were very ecstatic. They praised the so-called good gesture made by the gov. but only few realized that ‘the school-fees’ means RM 9 only. The parents still have to pay the books –fees (RM 130++) and the PIBG (RM 50++). So indirectly, people are being cheated and we teachers became the victims when the parents were in fury when they were told to pay (reality bites!).

2) Well, that’s not the end of it.. Since I am a form teacher, so I have the privilege to know the whole true about my students’ background. Quite surprising when I went through their application form, many or perhaps most of them are from low-income family – an average of household income is RM 600. Now, imagine this, most of the mothers are housewives which means they don’t have any income and they depend solely on their husbands’ money and they have 4 to 5 children. If 1 child, they need to pay around RM 180, then they need to fork out about …more than RM 600 ( I choose not to count) only for the school fees! No wonder the parents are complaining!

3) Thirdly, I also found out that family institution plays a vital role in shaping students’ behaviour and attitude. Quite a number of my students comes from broken family and most of them have discipline problems which eventually provoked me to become a monster – since I have to scold them most of the time..

4) Next, it seems that we have serious problems with our education system. Half of the students from remove class cannot converse in our national language and even worse are not able to identify the roman alphabets at all! They can’t even spell their parents’ name! I wonder what did they learn in their primary school...........

Actually there are so many other things that I have discovered after becoming a teacher for almost a year now. I do enjoy to educate people but at the same time I’m disappointed with the system. Please, buck up!

Death to Israelis!!

2008-01-21T05:54:00.000-08:00

Son Of Mahmoud Zahhar Martyred Along With 19 Others In Zionist Massacre

"Labaika Ya Nasrallah"

"Hizbul wahid, Hizbullah!"

"Ya Allah, please shower your bless upon the innocent souls of Palestiniens..

Gaza – Ma'an – The death toll in the Gaza Strip on Tuesday has risen to 19 after two Palestinians were killed in an Israeli raid into northern Gaza City on Tuesday evening.

Just hours after the Israeli withdrawal from the Zeitoun neighbourhood of Gaza City, eyewitnesses said an Israeli rocket attack near the agricultural school left two people dead and several others injured.

Mu'awiyah Hassanein, the head of ambulance and emergency services in the Palestinian Health Ministry, said the injured were transferred to Beit Hanoun Hospital for treatment.

Earlier in the day Israeli tank fire killed 17 Palestinians, including five civilians and the son of senior Hamas leader Mahmoud Zahhar, in the Zeitoun neighborhood of Gaza City within four hours on Tuesday, witnesses and medics said. 13 of the dead are thought to be members of Hamas' Al-Qassam Brigades.

An estimated 50 Palestinians were injured.

Eyewitnesses said that Palestinian fighters exchanged fire with Israeli tanks and armored vehicles as they slowly pushed towards the eastern Gaza City neighborhoods of Ash-Shuja'iyya and Zeitoun.

Witnesses also said that Israeli bulldozers destroyed farmers' groves in the area.

Separately, witnesses said that Israeli military vehicles invaded the industrial zone near the Erez border crossing in the northern Gaza Strip.

The Gaza-Based Palestinian Center for Human Rights (PCHR) said that five Palestinian civilians were killed by what they called "indiscriminant" tank fire. According to PCHR, three farmers were killed: sixty-six-year-old As’ad Eissa Radwan Tafesh, twenty-two-year-old Marwan Sameer Ouda, and fifty-year-old Sa’id Mustafa al-Sammouni.

A Thirty-five-year-old car trader named Ayman Fadel Malaka, and a nineteen-year-old student named Abdul Salam Atiya Abu Laban, were also killed by Israeli fire, PCHR said.

Palestinian medics at Ash-Shifa hospital identified some of the dead resistance fighters: Rami Farahat, Ahid Ashur, Muhamad Abu Laban Badwan Auda, Khalil Mudallal, Mustafa Salim, Mustafa Yahya Silmi, and Khamis Abu Sawaween.

Mahmoud Zahhar is one of Hamas' founders and served as Palestinan foreign minister from 2006 to 2007. In September 2003, Zahhar's other son Khaled was killed in an Israeli airstrike that completely destroyed Zahhar's home in Zeitoun.

"This is one of the results of the Bush visit. He encouraged the Israelis to kill our people," Zahhar told reporters.

"What is going on in Gaza today is a shame for all of those who cooperated with [US President George W.] Bush, the criminal, and with the Zionists," Zahar said. "I am talking about all kings, presidents and ministers," he said, in an apparent criticism of Arab leaders who met with Bush.

"We are telling them, today they are killing our sons, tomorrow they are going to kill yours."

The official spokesperson of the Palestinian Presidency, Nabil Abu Rdainah, condemned the Israeli attack in the name of the Palestinian Authority (PA), calling the incursion "brutal" and "a criminal act." He said that such attacks will weaken the position of Palestinian negotiators in talks with Israeli officials. He called on the Israeli government to stop impeding the peace process.

Meanwhile Hamas' armed wing, the Al-Qassam Brigades claimed responsibility for shooting and killing a person in the Israeli kibbutz of Ein Hashlosha east of Al-Qarara in in the southern Gaza Strip.

2008-01-06T02:21:00.000-08:00

LADDERS

for John Heron

Some ladders go up some ladders
go down

It’s true! Of course all ladders intrinsically
go both ways

both up and down
though we prop one up to climb out of

somewhere or
put one down to climb down into somewhere

But in both cases we’d climb back down or
back up unless we can keep

going at the level we’ve climbed up or
down to without needing to return

The tall wind-blasted fairy-castle caves at
Capadoccia in Turkey have ladders going way up

then precariously down

We had to climb down to prophet Daniel’s
supposed tomb on Prophet Daniel Street in Cairo

then had to clamber precariously up

It all depends where we begin
down or up and where we need to go

up or down

Oh and take a ladder when you leave this poem
would you?

Climb up there and see if
anyone’s listening?

to share something - and not 'picking side'

2007-12-13T09:21:00.000-08:00

not trying to be a politician or what but this clip, first time watched it, felt disgusting and shame (and still feel the same). Once again, not trying to 'picking side' just trying to find the 'truth' by digging alternative resources rather than clinging loyally to mainstream resources..

be the judge!

SPM invigilator

2007-12-10T08:54:00.000-08:00

picturesque view - the view I'd been watching for the past four weeks ... and never bored....

picking side....

2007-12-10T08:23:00.000-08:00

From Anton, " Every story has 3 sides; your side, their side and the truth."
We, no matter what'd happened to us, loved to believe that we were always correct. we neglected the story of others' side for we were afraid of the truth. What Anton said was totally correct. I, for example before this never thought of the other two sides except mine whenever things happened. I chose to believe my story since I'm a person with my own pride. and I believe that this situation did not happen just to me solely; it happened (happens) to everyone too or else Anton won't point it out. If there was never 'our side', we will pick the side that we favoured. and we became biased and most of the time, we misjudged the side that we didn't choose.

Take one example: A 'war' erupted between our best friend with another friend. instead of investigating the truth on what actually had happened, we simply took our best friend's side. ALthough sometimes we knew that we were defending the wrong party, we just didn't care.

and- If we were not taking 'our-own side', we will undeniably choose the side that either we were close to or we were fond to or simply because we didn't know which side to choose and thus blatantly chose the one that 'seemed right'. Many forgot that instead of picking side, we should look for the truth.

KPM sucks!

2007-11-13T22:48:00.000-08:00

syibal, syibal, more syibal and the syibal continue!

KPM sucks! reaally222X sucks! if Selangor MB gave brooms to his staffs, KPM staffs should get a bulldozer! bukan setakat sapu, ranapkan je...menyusahkan.. wasting my time and my money! damn! damn!

Got a letter from them saying that I have to attend an interview..in JB (BP to JB- more than 100km). Woke up early in the morning, get stuck in the morning traffic, paid RM 50 for petrol and toll and when I reached there, "sorrry, they send you the wrong letter, this interview is for fresh graduates who're still waiting for their posting not for those who want to 'sah jawatan'.. KPM tersalah bagi tu.."

"tersalah bagi?!..tersalah bagi?!" damn, syibal!!

Maybe I have changed..

2007-11-12T01:21:00.000-08:00

We both hurt, (maybe only me)
But we're both (perhaps maybe only me too) trying to move on,
Trying for something,
That might just go wrong,

If theres that feeling still
The passion in our eyes
The love for each other
But why do I hide?

It won't be the same,
It never will,
If it's suppose to happen it'll be true,
it will build

But i can't wait here,
Though you're on my mind,
Though its hard to move on,
But I have to....

My friends said that I have changed, have I? That now, I'm drifting away, am I? Perhaps.....
It's a lie if I say that I don't notice it but honestly I do not know why and how it happens. As far as I know, everyone, sooner or later needs changes and move on. Except, in my case, it comes earlier than I thought. I have the feeling that I could not let myself clinging to the past anymore. Before being pushed aside, I need to push myself away, so that I won't be hurt so much. How selfish I am! Maybe people don't understand me. and I don't blame them as I sometimes failed to understand my own-self either. A friend of mine once said to me,"war, you might want to forget us, but I (we) will never forget you.."- But, how can I forget something which already buried deep inside me?To forget is impossible, all I need is some time and space for me to re-define myself- to know where exactly I belong, and I'm not doing it while smiling. It is hard but have to cope with it. Although my heart bleeds.... a lot...but at least only for now.
Like I said before,"better pushing myself away now rather than being pushed later..."

A new voter

2007-11-10T18:15:00.000-08:00

I'm not really into politics as I've observed sometimes politics bring more harms than goods, but since for the next election I will be an eligible voter, I think I ought to do some research, so that I will be an informed voter and be ready enough to cast my valuable vote. But the event that took place yesterday (10-11-07) really shook (shake) my confidence toward our system.. When our freedom and right to voice out our opinion and frustration were (are) being stifled, and an initially peaceful rally being provoked, can I really cast my vote with ease?...

jane austen wannabe...crikey!!!!!

2007-11-07T22:34:00.000-08:00

Bought a new book yesterday; " Me and Mr.Darcy". The title and the blurb were quite attractive plus since the first time I watched the-dashing Mr.Darcy played by Colin Firth, I was smitten by his charming demeanor. But this book is rather a disappointment. I felt like I was reading a lame adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. The here and there quotations from the original novel were really disturbing and to certain a extend, annoyed me a lot. If you're thinking of buying this book, I hope the comments from another readers below could change your mind. Please save your $35 for anything else or perhaps other book- A Sophie Kinsella's would do...

-nothing compared to this one-

he very worst ,

July 31, 2007

By	Machinist (Fresno CA)

I read all the Austen prequels, sequels, variations, and based-upons that I come across. I read those set in the past, the present, and even one really odd one set in the future. I know going in that some will be good and some not so good, but even the not so good are generally at least mildly entertaining. Not this one. This is, hands down, the worst. The writing is poor, the plotting is non-existent, and the characters unlikeable and unbelievable. The lead female thinks that the unkempt and pot-bellied "hero" is arrogant and crass. He thinks she is unattractive and b itchy. I think they are both right.

The author spends 3 pages detailing how well the lead female character can "hold her water" midstream as she tries to listen to the lead male talk about her while she is in the restroom. Seriously. The lead female is supposed to be an educated woman approaching 30. She talks like a particularly obnoxious and ignorant teenager. And her totally classless behavior, especially on a picnic with Darcy, was actually painful. And Darcy!! OMG, the author has managed to take one of the most romantic characters in literature and absolutely ruin him. She manages to turn him into a huge bore and a craven jerk! He bears no resemblance whatsoever to Elizabeth's Mr Darcy. My sympathy to the poor trees that were needlessly sacrificed for this waste of paper.

Jane would be aghast!,

July 21, 2007

By	M. Beth Thomas (Central Texas)

Though I believe Jane Austen would be flattered and gracious about receiving such tribute from authors of modern day literature, I also believe she would be quite shocked and embarrassed at just how crass this particular work is. I would even go so far as saying she might call it 'vulgar'. Though it's mild by modern standards I still feel it was unnecessarily excessive in it's harsh language, drinking, bars and 'sassy woman with attitude' injections. It was almost forcing itself to be more 'hip' than those 'old days'. The main character is hardly even a Jane Austen fan. She's simply lusting over a guy in a book who has a sexy lake scene. She doesn't care about the history and the subtleties that Austen used to create amazing characters and why and what they were depicting -- just sexy, brooding Darcy, but not even Mr. Darcy for that matter.

The depiction of Mr. Darcy is merely some strange hunk of a man who is fascinated with the main character, follows her from town to town just to throw pebbles at her window (I can't really picture Darcy doing that), listen to her foul-mouthed, drunken ramblings and eventually bore her. He just stands by giving her only quizzical looks as she cusses and rants but then finally shows disapproval when she mentions she has a job?? And, this is so modern-day, political correctness. From this point Mr. Darcy becomes some tiresome male-chauvinist and from there on out we resign ourselves that the obvious love interest is a beer-bellied, foul-mouthed compadre of a reporter who is as uninteresting as the female lead.

I didn't read this book expecting great literature. I didn't read the book because I thought it would be a modern-day Pride and Prejudice. I didn't expect it to be written in Jane Austen style or be filled with butterflies and bumblebees, but I did hope it would be in the spirit and heart of how Jane saw the world through a modern (yet gentle) way. Elizabeth Bennett was intelligent and admirable, earning our affection for her character -- the lead in this story is silly, self-absorbed and crude, one could care less about her "I can't find a good man because I want a Mr. Darcy look-a-like" self-pity trip. And, did the author have to put a reference to every pop-culture icon there is known to man throughout the book!!?? What does American Idol have to do with Mr. Darcy?? Also, you can tell she's British (which is wonderful - nothing at all against that). However, although the main character is impressed with herself when she uses British terms instead of American, she still keeps referring to the tour bus as a 'coach', and also responds in conversation with the word "rubbish" without notice. I don't know too many young American women who go around saying "rubbish". This is trivial I know, but it bugged me -- sorry. This book is a light and crass read. It might be good for early 20-something, party-goers who want a tiny touch of romance(except when they find out that the main character doesn't like to party, but her friend does) -- other than that it's not worth the expense. If it's a tribute then it's an angry one.

The author almost seems mad at Austen for creating some guy who looks good in wet clothing. I think it belittles the detailed and complicated structures Austen had created with both Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth's characters. How can a true Austen fan separate those two? Darcy without Elizabeth? They are inseparable in my mind. One positive thing in the book was the description of the places the main character visits. Possibly the closest I'll get to seeing them myself. That was nice to have.

CRIKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interview untuk naik gaji!

2007-11-07T06:11:00.000-08:00

next week ---interview..finally! Possible questions
1) apakah falsafah pendidikan negara
Ans: I tido dlam kelas falsafah..
2) apakah yang anda faham tentang PIpp?
Ans: ermmmm...no komen
3) Apkan misi pendidikan Nasional?
Ans: kurang pasti.
4) Macam mana kalau awak fail interview ni?
Ans: Minta dijauhkan (berikan senyuman dan muka yang paling pathetic!)

Gosh...asyik suruh budak wat revision tapi cikgu sendiri pemalas!! wa..!! apa nak jawab ni!

a valuable break..

2007-11-01T19:50:00.000-07:00

I asked from my pengetua for a day break yesterday. At first, she refused to give as she said the holiday is just around the corner. Then, I gave her my most sympathetic face..still she reluctant to give and she even cited what 'pengarah' said..and after much negotiation, she finally granted me with 1 day break..

Actually, I didn't really have a good reason to ask for a leave, i just wanted a break..to rejunevate myself. A day without anyone at home, a day where i just can laze around.. of course i have school holiday coming up, but I won't be alone at home. So yesterday, it reminded me back of my "hibernate period' -where I was unemployed. if during that time, i was bored but this time around, I felt contented and relieved. I miss my hibernate period. Really do, but life goes on..but perhaps from time to time I will ask for another 'valuable break'...perhaps...

KAWAN

2007-10-12T18:59:00.000-07:00

Kawan..kadang-kadang kite perasan yang kawan kita adalah kawan dunia akhirat..kita rasa kawan kita yang paling baik dan kita berkira yang kita adalah kawan kepada kawan kita yang terbaik..tapi kita mudah perasan...dan bila angin realiti mula menampar2 pipi kita, baru kita tersentak..kawan bukan adik beradik..yang walau dicincang tak kan putus..kawan is merely a person we make a relationship with, a fragile one..and bila kita berpisah..kita lupa kawan kita..kawan kita lupa kita..janji2 untuk "frienship forever'hanya lipstik di bibir yang akan hilang tanpa di lap p0n..kita mula buat kawan baru..kawan lama kita tetap ingat but not all the time la..kita sometimes..dilupakan dan sengaja melupakan..that's life..

Why!why!

2007-09-12T21:48:00.000-07:00

I notice since I started working, my writing style has changed. When I was unemployed, I had so much time that I could write almost anything and normally my entries would be light and not serious. In fact, I enjoyed writing it. Its like a remedy to cure my boringness and when I read back all the entries that I had wrote during my 'hibernate period', I still find it as relevant and enjoyable (maybe I perasan sorang-sorang je) but seriously, I wish I could produce entries like before. Maybe because during that time, I had less-pressure and I have too much time to think about almost anything.

Now, I find my entries were rather boring and it seems that I write something that comes from my pressured emotion-- maybe due to my tiredness and the unstoppable workloads. When I read back the entries, I feel dismay and I ask myself a question, "why on earth I write something like that?" . I need my mood back, I need to feel free again, I need to be able to write something that makes me happy. Not like now, all I did was using my writings as a medium to pour all my dissatisfactions, my sadness, my regrets and my-all-not-so-good stuffs. Does work make me less interesting person? Does work take all my sanity and mood? or is it merely because of my hormone and mood or perhaps because of my ageing age?

p/s: See! even this entry sounds distressful! Unlike my previous entries in friendster...

marhaban..ya shahru ramadhan..

2007-09-12T07:46:00.000-07:00

Every year Muslims from all over the world and from all ethnic and economic backgrounds begin fasting from sunrise to sunset every day during a most blessed month in the Islamic tradition, known as Ramadan. But what makes Ramadan a blessed month? Why do Muslims fast during this month? What are the spiritual benefits of fasting? All these questions and more are addressed in this article that introduces you to a month long spiritual journey that over 1.4 billion Muslims engage in worldwide.

The Qur’an says what means, “It was the month of Ramadan in which the Qur’an was revealed from on high as a guidance for humanity and a self-evident proof of that guidance, and as the standard by which to discern the true from the false.” (Al-Baqarah 2:185). The entire month of Ramadan is in essence a celebration of the Quran’s revelation, which is described as a “Guide and Mercy for those who do good.” (Luqman 31:3). Ramadan celebrates God’s Mercy by which He sent a guiding light in the Qur’an that leads human life towards the path of good and virtue and protects the human soul from evil and vice.

Muslims show their gratitude to God for this guidance by abstaining from eating, drinking and sexual intimacy during Ramadan, as a way of coming closer to God and developing a deep inner awareness of God’s presence in life. This internal mechanism of feeling God’s presence leads the soul to do right even under life’s most difficult situations, and protects the soul against wrongdoing even when it is the easier or more tempting path to take.

Sin is seen as an act of self-oppression as it forces the soul into a state that is antithetical to its nature and created purpose.

This is why the Qur’an switches to a most intimate relationship between God and servant immediately following the passage on fasting in Ramadan (Al-Baqarah 2:183-185). “When My servants ask you about Me, I am close indeed—I hearken to the prayer of the supplicant when one calls on Me; so let them hearken to Me, and let them believe in Me, that they may go the right way.” (Al-Baqarah 2:186).

When the soul enters into a station of gratitude and submission to its Lord, through fasting, there is a recognition that life has been given by God as a gift and trust to be used for good works that reflect God’s mercy, compassion, love, generosity and so on. In fact, the Qur’an says that the natural inclination of our souls is to submit to God’s Will by having sincere belief in One God and doing righteous acts of worship (Ar-Rum 30:30). As such, the very concept of sin, in the Islamic tradition, is known as an act of oppression against one’s own soul for forcing it into a state that is antithetical to its very nature and created purpose (Aal `Imran 3:117, among many other verses). When a soul persists in sinning, it becomes a slave to its own lower desires, a prisoner of its own passions (Al-Furqan 25:43).

One of the most important qualities fasting seeks to develop within an individual is humility before God and God’s creation.

Fasting, then, seeks to free the soul from these shackles by suppressing the lower self of desire and raising the God-conscious soul of giving that naturally aspires towards good. By depriving the soul of life’s basic necessities for some hours, one is able to teach the soul self-restraint and self-control from such evils as anger, revenge, lying, stealing, sexual immorality and so on. This is why Prophet Muhammad said that “When anyone of you is fasting on a day, he should neither indulge in obscene language nor should he raise his voice; and if anyone insults him or tries to quarrel with him, he should say: ‘I am fasting.’” The Prophet also warned Muslims not to make fasting an uneventful ritual that has no affect on the character and habits of a person: “If anyone does not refrain from lies and false conduct, God has no need for him to abstain from his food and drink.”

One of the most important qualities fasting seeks to develop within an individual is humility before God and God’s creation. Hunger and thirst cause one to realize that if it were not for God’s Mercy and Sustenance, one would be in a most difficult and undesirable state of affairs. Fasting is a humbling experience, which is an important characteristic of a righteous soul, for false pride and arrogance can never live side-by-side with sincere piety.

The act of fasting, therefore, also provides the fortunate, wealthy members of society to experience for a time the pain and suffering which millions of people go through everyday without food, water and other basic necessities of life. Fasting bridges the gap between rich and poor, sustained and impoverished, fulfilled and needy. This experience should then inspire compassion and mercy, which is manifest by generosity of wealth and time to help those in need. Muslims are encouraged especially during this month to go out and feed the hungry and to spend their wealth on good causes, such as building schools, hospitals, soup kitchens and so on, in the tradition of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) whose generosity would increase ten-folds during Ramadan. In the Islamic tradition, God promises to return all acts of goodness and generosity in this blessed month by ten-times, both in this world and in the hereafter.

Ramadan is a celebration of God’s guidance to humanity, through the Qur’an, which is a guide for doing good and a warning against evil.

Due to the blessings and rewards associated with Ramadan, Muslims are encouraged to share their food with their neighbors and to invite guests to their home to begin the fast at sunrise and for breaking of the fast at sunset. Muslims are also encouraged to significantly increase their worship to God during this month, and therefore special prayers are offered in every Mosque well into the night, with most Mosques packed with worshippers. As such, Ramadan always brings with it a strong communal atmosphere and ties between the community are strengthened greatly as a result. Most Muslims are therefore very sad to see the month of Ramadan go and its return is highly anticipated well in advance of its arrival.

In conclusion, Ramadan is a celebration of God’s guidance to humanity, through the Qur’an, which is a guide for doing good and a warning against evil. In order to bring the soul into harmony with the Qur’anic ideals of belief and virtue, fasting is prescribed as a way for individuals to come closer to God and to lift their souls to new heights of piety. In doing so, the entire human body is able to transform itself into an agent of positive moral and social change that seeks to replace miserliness with generosity, anger with patience, revenge with love, and war with peace—in effect, replacing good with evil in the world.

A saying by God transmitted through Prophet Muhammad, known as a hadith qudsi, best explains the transformation that takes place in an individual through good acts, which in part are inspired by fasting. “And the most beloved thing with which My servant comes nearer to Me is what I have enjoined upon him; and My servant keeps on coming closer to Me through performing extra righteous deeds till I love him. When I love him, I become the hearing with which he hears, seeing with which he sees, hands with he acts, and legs with which he walks; and if he asks of Me, I give him, and if he asks My protection, I protect him.”

Sohaib Sultan is the author of The Koran for Dummies (website last accessed Nov. 6, 2004).

teacher - beware of your words!

2007-09-06T05:53:00.000-07:00

Once, my students asked me an-almost-all students-ask question; "teacher, tomorrow bring what book?" I tried to imagine my lesson plan for tomorrow. Finally I replied "Class, tomorrow please bring your comprehension book?" . "No textbook? another famous question popped from one student. "No"..all the students cried happily..in unison ( they really hate bringing their textbook)

The next day, I entered the class, brought along my 'buku persediaan mengajar', confidently I walked into the class..After the greeting..."class take out your Literature Book and your textbook". My students "teacher, yesterday you asked us to bring comprehension only"
Me: Really, oh my mistake (while trying to remember whether I'd said that"
Me: So, all of you didn't bring your textbook?
NO!! -- all students (with their thunderous voices)
Me: Ok then, take out your book and copy this..we'll discuss later...

At the end of the class...

"class, tomorrow please bring your literature book.."
My students: eleh teacher, suruh bawa buku lain tapi esok lain..
Me: Cis (dalam hati je laaa)

Aigooo....

Students nowadays are not like us in the past. In those days, we never raised our voice to our teachers, if they did any mistake (which in my case, I totally forgot..) we chose to say nothing. We respected them and once we being scolded, we will remember it forever and tried to avoid from making the same mistake. My students.. cikgu..boifren cikgu keje apa? Me--stunned! I never dared to ask my teacher question like that.. phrases like "malasla cikgu, cikgu ni, kalau tak nak buat macam mana?" are normal to be uttered by my students and then when we rolled our eyes, they will say "gurau je la cikgu"

Me--Just praying that students in the future won't be worse from today.....

--moments--

2007-08-23T22:10:00.000-07:00

Be like the flowing river,
silent in the night,
be not afraid of the dark
if there are stars on the sky,
reflect them back
If there are clouds in the sky
Remember, clouds like rivers, are water
So, gladly reflect them too,
In your own tranquil depths..

-Manuel Bandeira-

I do a lot of self-reflections during this holiday. I reflect all the things that I've done-things that I regret and things that I wish could happen again. Sometimes I hope that I could play safe by choosing the path that placed right in front of me but, I opt to choose the opposite. By doing that I hurt not only myself, but others too. But I know, these are the risks that I have to take for my decisions now will bring consequences that affect my future. Be hurt now rather than be sorry in the future. Be frustrated now than feeling disappointed in the future.

A story of an average man

2007-08-21T02:39:00.000-07:00

Here is a story of an average man. Now, he's in his sixties. He was a teacher. A good one- a teacher who always motivated his students and he loved his job very much. He's a teacher who dedicated his whole life to this profession and enjoyed every second of it. A teacher who wanted to see the best in each of his student. A teacher by heart.

He's the eldest in the family and it's something normal for him to support his family.Since he was small, he always worked hard. Every penny he earned, he will save for his family. Little did he spend for his own pleasure. Although he was busy working, he never complained and he never neglected his study too. It was his parents' proudest moment when he got an offer from UM to pursue his study. He, himself was very delighted! 5 years in UM had taught him to be a better man. Though, he never forgot his family. Most of the scholarship he received, he will use it for his family. He supported his brothers and sisters, he paid all of their school fees. Yet, he never once whining about it.

He has 3 brothers and 3 sisters and all of them managed to taste the sweetness of success- thanks to him! When he was a teacher, people labeled him as a stingy, parsimonious, "tangkai jering", "haji bakhil" and etc. Its true that he didn't like to spend money on new car. He was, in fact renovated his house on his own. Instead of using car, he preferred to use his old motorcycle to go to school. Even when he became the principal. He never changed his style. His colleagues said bad things behind his back, but he chose to ignore

Now, he's retired. He spend most of his time in his farm. Once a while, he will be invited to give talks to students and teachers. Wherever he goes, people recognize him, not as a stingy person, but as a good teacher. He is able to live in luxury but he chooses the opposite and he's happy with it. Although some people still say bad things about him, but I know he is others' hero!

the broken-heart of mine

2007-08-10T06:31:00.000-07:00

Call me stupid, call me dumb, call me whatever you want, but I never asked for this feeling. It hurts, a lot. People say 'to fall in love is the best experience ever', ironically, I feel the opposite. Instead of giving me the 'over-the-moon feeling', I feel extremely exhausted with these feelings that never want to go away. I tried, not once, not twice but still the dumb me fails to realize that I could never have him as my soul-mate.

People said you should fight for your love, never give up easily but how could I be a fighter if my dream guy is out of my reach. I can only miss him, but to have him; impossible. He is like a shadow, seems so near but you could never catch it. I try to console my broken heart but it always betrays me. When I finally have the gut to forget him, his images appear. He is like a ghost, never let me have him and never let me forget him. To the Almighty, I ask for help..for my heart to be at peace again..it's hard, but I will try... I know, I could never have him, as he's married!

Zinedine Yazid Zidane, if you could hear, my heart is calling for you!!!

you have no excuse to not remember your Creator!

2007-07-25T05:15:00.000-07:00

Praise the Almighty!

We are human too!!

2007-07-24T06:26:00.001-07:00

It bothers me a lot when I read how the public keep on complaining and scolding teachers once some students were being punished. Teachers are human too. And every human makes mistakes but sometimes we are being penalized as if we are grade-1-criminal. Totally unfair! I have to agree that some teachers went overboard when they punished their students but I believe there were reasons for every action. We will never, ever punish our students without any valid reasons. We are teachers, educators not some psychopaths who deliberately punish our students. Or else we won’t be teachers at the first place. But the treatments that we get, totally outrageous. I remember, once a person from KPM suggested that teachers share the toilet with the students in order to keep the toilet clean. And recently, one suggestion made that teachers shouldn’t eat separately with the students. OMG! Were these people crazy or what? Sometimes, I personally think that teachers are being treated badly. If they want us to share the toilet with the students, they should show an example first. They shouldn’t use VIP toilet or dine at 5 stars hotels. I bet these people won’t do it as they are only “commenists” – people who loooooooove to comment!

One of our tokoh pendidikan said - students nowadays are too soft(lembik) and spoilt(mengada-ngada). And to make things worst, parents blatantly will take their children's side whatever happened. They always think that their children could never be wrong- and I agree 100%. How pathetic these parents are!!

I am a teacher. I know the reality and I understand well the hitches that need to be faced by all these teachers every day. Sometimes, it felt like mental torturing! Why, when few students were slapped by a teacher, this so-called-accident became a front cover of each national newspaper, but when a teacher get punched on his face until he was hospitalised, we heard nothing, be it from the ministry or the press! totally unfair.

Here, I want to make a suggestion to so-called loving parents, why don't you be a teacher just for one day, and after you have succeeded then you can complain. My students aren't 'devils' or 'angels' but to cope with their sometimes rude attitude, really makes me a "screamer” and a “mad woman” sometimes…

waaaa! I lost my phone!

2007-07-14T06:12:00.000-07:00

I lost my precious but cheap handphone. My mom gave me when I got my first Anugerah Dekan. So the phone got sentimental value. The thing is, I'd been planning to buy new phone since months ago but have to wait for my very first salary. But now, I am a person without a hp as my s0-damn-late salary has not reach its destination (which is my bank account).. sob..sob..
I was the third victim, before there were another two teacher who lost their hp..we suspected inside our school got toyol la..

Dear KPM, please...please..please give me my salary as I desperately need to buy a handphone!

I feel damned terrible

2007-07-05T08:11:00.000-07:00

I felt terribly bad today. I did something in which I regret it until now.Seriously, I didn't know it before.

There's one girl inside my class. She's small and quiet. She has this pitiful face and a very innocent smile. Her uniform is clouded with yellowish colour. From her appearance, I know that she's not from a wealthy family. But sometimes, she really pissed me off. I've been teaching her class for almost 4 months now and every time I entered her class, she's the regular face who always forgot to bring either her textbook or her exercise books. Numerous time I let her go. But today, I was really mad. She did bring her textbook but bring none of her exercise books. I put on my serious face and with thunderous voice, I went to her and asked about her book. She was colouring a picture at that moment.

"where's your book?"
"tak bawa"
"asyik tak bawa, awak tak pernah bawak kan?"- I have to speak Malay as she hardly understand anything i said before.
she looked down and gave me an innocent smile. But I couldn't let her go this time, or else I will be biased to other students.

"saya tak tahu nak cakap apa lagi. Awak tak pernah bawak buku. buku apa yang awak bawa?"
"sikik-sikit" she answered.

"keluarkan semua, I want to see".
Slowly she opened her bag and took out few books. My temperature was rising when I saw few books of other subjects
"Buku maths ada, science ada, KH ada, tapi buku BI tak de"

She looked at me and said..
"tadi dah masuk, pastu keluarkan balik"

I bombarded her back
"sapa suruh bawak keluar balik..seriously, saya dah malas nak cakap ngan awak lagi"
I left her abruptly. She ruined my mood.

*************************************************
During free time, I consulted a fellow teacher about this girl-whether she's facing the same problem like me.

"sys...budak tu memang ada masalh. Dia tinggal dengan mak tiri and ayah dia, selalu kene dera"

I was stunned.

And she continued. "Dia memang tak beli buku. Ayah dia tak nak bagi duit, buku2 dia pun cikgu subjek yg tolong belikan.. Dia dalam proses kaunseling sekarang"

Seriously, I felt very bad (still do) when I heard that. Me, a teacher, a person who supposed to help my student, instead I humiliated her in front of her friends and torture her emotionally. I feel really really bad!

Being a muslim- Part 2

2007-06-23T21:26:00.000-07:00

And why I choose Islam as a way of life to be embraced? For an easy answer, I shall say because I was born to be a Muslim but I prefer to give different answers. I choose Islam because Islam gives meaning in my life as it provides me with rules- to guide and protect me rather than to thwarted my wants and desires, it provides me with peace - as I always feel calm when I pray to the Almighty and it gives me comfort as I know I have lots of brothers and sisters (all muslims are in one big family).Islam is not a barbaric religion as some people say, but it is rather a peaceful religion and it brings no harm- be it to muslims or to non-muslims. I write this post just to remind myself and my fellow muslims on why we choose Islam as our way of life. I also write this to remind my brothers and sisters about our responsibility to defend and protect our religion as nowadays we could see and hear how people talk nasty things bout Islam and muslims. The main question -Why we choose Islam?

Firstly is because Islam is a Complete Way of Life

Islam is not a religion in the common and distorted sense, for it does not confine its scope to one’s private life. It is a complete way of life and is present in every field of human existence. Islam provides guidance for all aspects of life - individual and social, material and moral, economic and political, legal and cultural, and national and international. The Qur'an enjoins man to embrace Islam without any reservation and to follow Allah's guidance in all areas of life.

In fact, it was an unfortunate day when the scope of religion was confined to the private life of man and its social and cultural role was reduced to naught, as has happened in this century. No other factor, perhaps, has been more important in causing the decline of religion in the modern age than its retreat into the realm of private life. In the words of a modern philosopher: "Religion asks us to separate things of God from those of Caesar. Such a judicial separation between the two means the degrading of both the secular and the sacred ... That religion is worth little if the conscience of its followers is not disturbed when war clouds are hanging over us all and industrial conflicts are threatening social peace. Religion has weakened man's social conscience and moral sensitivity by separating the things of God from those of Caesar."

Islam totally denounces this concept of religion and clearly states that its objectives are the purification of the soul and the reform and reconstruction of society. As we read in the Qur'an: (We verily sent Our messengers with clear proofs, and revealed with them the Scripture and the Balance, that mankind may observe right measure; and He revealed iron, wherein is mighty power and (many) uses for mankind, and that Allah may know him who helpeth Him and His messengers, though unseen. Lo! Allah is Strong, Almighty. ) (Al-Hadid 57: 25) Allah also says: “The decision rests with Allah only, Who hath commanded you that ye worship none save Him. This is the right religion, but most men know not..” (Yusuf 12: 40)

Thus even a cursory study of the teachings of Islam shows that it is an all-embracing way of life and does not leave out any field of human existence to become a playground for the forces of evil.

Secondly is because the of the balance between the Individual and Society

Another unique feature of Islam is that it establishes a balance between individualism and collectivism. It believes in the individual personality of man and holds everyone personally accountable to God. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) says: “Everyone of you is a guardian, and responsible for what is in his custody. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects and responsible for them; a husband is a guardian of his family and is responsible for it; a lady is a guardian of her husband's house and is responsible for it, and a servant is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for it." I heard that from Allah's Apostle and I think that the Prophet also said, "A man is a guardian of is father's property and is responsible for it, so all of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and things under your care.""(Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Islam also guarantees the fundamental rights of the individual and does not permit anyone to tamper with them. It makes the proper development of the personality of man one of the prime objectives of its educational policy. It does not subscribe to the view that man must lose his individuality in society or in the state.

In Islam, all men are equal, regardless of color, language, race, or nationality. It addresses itself to the conscience of humanity and banishes all false barriers of race, status, and wealth. There can be no denying the fact that such barriers have always existed and continue to exist today in the so-called enlightened age. Islam removes all of these impediments and proclaims the ideal of the whole of humanity being one family of God.

Islam is international in its outlook and approach and does not admit barriers and distinctions based on color, clan, blood, or territory, as was the case before the advent of Muhammad. Unfortunately, these prejudices remain rampant in different forms even in this modern age. Islam wants to unite the entire human race under one banner. To a world torn by national rivalries and feuds, it presents a message of life and hope and of a glorious future.

The historian, A. J. Toynbee, has some interesting observations to make in this respect. In Civilization on Trial, he writes: "Two conspicuous sources of danger - one psychological and the other material - in the present relations of this cosmopolitan proletariat, i.e., [westernized humanity] with the dominant element in our modern Western society are race consciousness and alcohol; and in the struggle with each of these evils the Islamic spirit has a service to render which might prove, if it were accepted, to be of high moral and social value.

The extinction of race consciousness between Muslims is one of the outstanding moral achievements of Islam, and in the contemporary world there is, as it happens, a crying need for the propagation of this Islamic virtue ... It is conceivable that the spirit of Islam might be the timely reinforcement which would decide this issue in favor of tolerance and peace.

As for the evil of alcohol, it is at its worst among primitive populations in tropical regions which have been 'opened up' by Western enterprise. The fact remains that even the most statesmanlike preventive measures imposed by external authority are incapable of liberating a community from a social vice unless a desire for liberation and a will to carry this desire into voluntary action on its own part are awakened in the hearts of the people concerned. Now Western administrators, at any rate those of 'Anglo-Saxon' origin, are spiritually isolated from their 'native' wards by the physical 'color bar' which their race-consciousness sets up; the conversion of the natives' souls is a task to which their competence can hardly be expected to extend; and it is at this point that Islam may have a part to play.

In these recently and rapidly 'opened up' tropical territories, the Western civilization has produced an economic and political plenum and, in the same breath, a social and spiritual void.

Here, then, in the foreground of the future, we can remark two valuable influences which Islam may exert upon the cosmopolitan proletariat of a Western society that has cast its net around the world and embraced the whole of mankind; while in the more distant future we may speculate on the possible contributions of Islam to some new manifestation of religion."

adapted from :Islamonline.net

I miss my two-week holiday

2007-06-21T05:49:00.000-07:00

Been very busy lately. I miss my two weeks holiday- just stayed at home and away from any thought about schoolworks. Two weeks after the school re-opened and I have yet experienced any day without doing or thinking bout schoolworks. And I’m praying and hoping that these hectic-ness shall end by the end of this week. Today, for instance, my school held an opening day and ‘hari kantin’. The unfortunate me who was selected to be a form teacher had to entertain 41 parents with different opinion and attitudes. One parent even scolded me for he had to wait for his turn (not that he had to wait for one hour! Huh!). I know, he was so eager to see me but come on, be patience dude or shall I say "nuncle". I forced myself to be calmed but inside, there was a burning flame. No wonder his child was rude – as parents are child’s first role models. Besides that superfluous moment, everything went perfectly normal. Throughout the 3 hours dealing with these parents, I managed to collect few events and experiences that managed to tickled my heart. I managed to see how disappointed parents scolded their children when they saw their children’s not-so-good results, how my students who normally were so loud became extremely passive in front of their parents, and how hopeful some parents to see their children to be success in the future – not to follow their path. Truly, I learned a lot today. Indirectly, I can say that my interpersonal skills have improved (hmm). Teachers, we are not merely an educator but we also a motivator, a problem solver and also an observer. And yes we a good cook too ( as I was in-charged for nasi ayam stall, I only slept few hours last night to fry the chicken). I’m tired but I’m grateful that I was learning something today. But I need a break too!

My big fat arabic wedding

2007-06-13T10:21:00.000-07:00

Attended my cousin wedding last weekend. Remind me of the movie 'my big fat greek wedding'. First, we were loud-of course because everyone was so excited. We danced (we really did) and we eat lamb (but we're not roasted the lamb at the lawn). It was a tiring affair but at the same time it also was a thrilling experience. Below, I attach a short video of the wedding.

I looooooooove beaches..

2007-06-05T16:59:00.000-07:00

I had a blast last week, -in a good way of course-spending precious but short time with my besties, was really a thing that i extremely need in order to mend my not-so-miserable life and to clear the turbid mind of mine. Even if the meeting means spending 4-5 hours trapped in traffic jams and another hours finding the right roads to go back to the hotel. I didn't mind with all that, as being with the friends that I know will always be there for me, was really a comfort.

Yes, I had my truly holiday during the weekends with Cj and AS. We travelled from KL around 7 pm but we only reached Melaka at 12 am (thanks to the massive traffic jam--and I wonder, apart from 367 days in a year, why on earth the kl-ites (and singaporeans too) chose that day to go to Melaka..huh). But during the 5 hours journey, I didn't feel bored at all(ok maybe because it wasn't me who drove the car, and they did highlight this fact --countless time :D-) but seriously, I really enjoyed every minute of it. Finally, when we arrived at the hotel, I was half shocked to see how grande the hotel was (and also the deposit that we had to pay-- I do realize lately, I become extra conscious when it comes about money, maybe because I haven't received my salary yet...) but at the end, I didn’t mind bout the rates..nothing could trumps the sweetest moments I had with them. Plus, I loooooove the hot tub! We did go to Tg. Bidara, the famous A’Famousa and other interesting places. But what we enjoyed the most is the ‘heart-to-heart” chit chat session. We exchanged stories and gossips, and updated ourselves with current issues (particularly juicy stories bout our ex-coursemates). Seriously, I enjoyed every second of it.

In the future (August), we planned to out for another trip again. This time around, we choose to laze around at the beach. Hopefully we could make it…

Being a muslim..

2007-06-01T01:08:00.000-07:00

Being a Muslim means to always smile, no matter how difficult life gets, for it will last a while
It means greeting people of all ethnicities and races, with a salutation of peace, smiling at all faces
It means helping the elderly, and the one in need, and to give in charity, not to be overcome by greed
It means, to desire perfection, in piety and gratitude. Always be humble and not have an attitude
It means to obey your parents, not to raise your voice in their sight, and to walk away if someone wants to fight..

So am I a Muslim by action, or a Muslim by name, the first is a believer and the other is a shame
I must never become arrogant, boastful, or proud, nor utter silly words, or speak loud
I can't transgress in the earth, I know right from wrong, so I better correct my past, I won't live too long
Before I'm 6 feet under, and taking nothing with me but my deeds, no more things to worry about, no more needs
As I face my Lord, did I really prepare for that day, from the way I lived my life, it seems I was astray
So even as a Muslim, I will be punished for my sins if I fail, by going to hell, which ain't nothing like jail...

So I'm not special for being a Muslim at all, if my actions are on the down fall
If people don't see Islam in my actions, then what do I have to propose, nothing good in my image, which people oppose
So I stand up in prayer, asking God to give me His light, to walk humbly on earth, and to make things right
God created us weak, and in distress, so we can always turn to Him when our life is a mess
God created us to worship Him, not that He is in need, nor will He ever be in need for us, for were only a seed
God taught us the way we should compose our life, to live in harmony and not cause strife
He taught us our purpose and gave us direction; He is tired of hearing everyone's objection..

Thinking that we can develop better standards of living than our Lord, if you live life this way, you won't get a reward
So I better stop hurting people, God even counts a woman's tears, while many other people remain in fear
Fear of dying with no shelter, nor food, many more are depressed, in a delusional mood
So I must extend a helping hand to establish goodness to humanity, because too many people are living in insanity
If someone wrongs me, must I retaliate and fight, can I just forgive them, if I have the light
The light of Allah that He gives to whom He please, the only one who gets it are those who bow on their knees
To acknowledge to the creator, that you are indebted to His service, to not get caught up in life, always feeling nervous

The world wasn't made just for me, we all have a share in its joys and sorrow, so let's focus on today, for nothings promised tomorrow
So a Muslim who preaches the message must resemble goodness and piety, and to acknowledge there is only one Deity
His name is Allah., He is the One and Only, if you don't worship Him, you will remain lonely
He is the One who brings life to what was dead, so calling on Him at night, while you lay in bed
And thank Him, o Muslims, for all of His gifts, for if you remain ungrateful, His punishment is swift
God put us in this world to see how we react, but we failed many times, that's a fact.

----islamonline.net------

I can't wait no more!!!

2007-05-30T01:06:00.000-07:00

Going for holiday with my friends!! Although I haven't received
my salary yet (huh!), it does not stop me to enjoy my 2 weeks holiday (although I have piles of papers to be marked!) ! I really need this break before i resuming my hectic life..Malacca, here I come! Will share bout my experience later... :D

teachers' hitch (es)

2007-05-24T20:37:00.000-07:00

First thing first, Anis...I prefer ILDIVO's than that song.

I've been rather busy for the past few days. Although the students are having their exam now (in which we, teachers are supposed to be free from teaching except monitoring the students ---which is pretty bored!), I have to say I could never rest. Now, my nightmare has begun. I'm teaching 5 classes (English) and for each class, approximately I have 40 (naughty) students. For English, we have two papers--paper 1 is easy as it is an objective paper, however when it comes to marked paper2, ......(no word can describe my "enthusiasm"). 40x5---you do the math. Plus, I am also a form teacher where I'm supposed to do the students' record book. Anis, that's why I haven't updated my blog recently.

Marking is a tedious job, however I do manage to entertain myself while marking the papers.

"we put oil in kuali panas"

"we cut onion pakai pisau tajam"

"cut the onions small small"

"he finally bahagia"

yes, I did laugh when I read these interesting pieces!

There a few students who tried their best to write even though they are weak in the language but what bothers me the most is the students who don't even try to answer the questions given.

So, wish me luck for the coming days!

p/s: I had a meeting yesterday, and now besides teaching the students, we, language teachers have to teach our peers too. It is called "Buddy support system". And yes, we do get extra incentive.

The Day

2007-05-16T03:42:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 6.00 a.m this morning. It’s not my normal routine to wake up that early, but today, special case. Last night, I ironed my new pink baju kurung…(only technically mine, as currently my sister loan it to me but still, its new). A real hot pink! After finished dressing up, with a bit of excitement feeling inside my heart, I went straight to my school. Good morning teacher! a student greeted me, when I entered the school’s gate. I just smiled, and nodded my head a bit. I could feel that my face was glowing. I wonder why, maybe because of the new blusher that I wore this morning. I clocked in my card and went straight to the teachers’ room. Today, every teacher looked different. They wore nice clothes, some even bought a new ‘tudung’- just to match with their baju kurung. All smiled and chatted happily. Some shook hands with their peers and there were some teachers who hugged each other. “macam raya plak!” a voice echoed. All just smiled. Nevertheless, there were few teachers who’re busy marking the students’ books. “dah lah, hari ni tak payahla tanda buku, hari ni kita relax!” one teacher teased the teachers who’re busy with their marking.

“cikgu2, pukul 7.45 nanti sila berkumpul di dataran”- an instruction given to the teachers. If during normal day, the teachers felt reluctant to go for the assembly, but today, I could see that they fastened their steps while heading to the hall- including me. Then, the assembly started. Nothing much different from our every day assembly except for today, throughout the assembly, from time to time, I received messages from my friends in which their contents made me smiled and at the and of the assembly, we, teachers were requested to sing.

Kami guru Malaysia

Berikrar dan berjanji

Memimpin dan mendidik

Putera-puteri Negara kita

Pada Seri Paduka

Kami tumpahkan setia

Rukun Negara kita

Panduan hidup kami semua

Di bidang pembangunan

Kami tetap bersama

Bersatu, membina Negara yang tercinta

Amanah yang diberi

Kami tak persiakan

Apa yang kami janji

Tunai tetap kami tunaikan

All the teachers sang their heart out. Then, we had a break. Together, we went to the canteen. There, while eating, we chatted—cheerfully. Today, everyone was in high spirits. After we had our break, we toured back to the hall as the event continued. There were performances by both teachers and the students, and the event lasted until 12.30 pm. When I stepped out from the hall, few students approached me, they shook my hand and greeted me, “selamat hari guru, cikgu!” and I smiled. Yes, today, 16 May 2007, is Teachers’ Day and this is the first time I celebrated it as a teacher! To all teachers/educators and to myself “HAPPY TEACHERS’ DAY”.

p/s: I did get few gifts and cards. Reading my students’ cards makes me flattered.

** tit -a - tat**

Dear Abah...

Pensil dan Pemadam..

25.12.2011

Only to Allah we ask everything...

eat . pray . love

:: A month ::

::Women::

me

Panicking

::red alert!::

Happy Teacher's Day! (happy ke..)

:: The Removal::

::love is in the air::

::sinner::

the "M" word..

walking z.o.m.b.i.e.

holiday- wat to do ek...

My name is T.E.A.C.H.E.R

ha!

breathtaking v/s suffocating

My Song!!! - very relevant to me...hahaha

::Raya::

--thank u-ramadhan-lucks-amin-----

my student - the future-reader

entry depress :(

..hitting the resume button after stuck with the pause...

I LOVE MY FRIENDS

- little update -

:: when we were younger and naive' ::

They hate ENglish

he..

imbroglio, jam, mix-up, muddle,

:: from johor with love::

:: ripping off::

you can kill them but not their faith

30th Dec 2008

PETUA

Yoga- Don't get emotional

Unexpected Event..

hip..hip..horray..

Forgive me..

Syawal- month of.....?

United Kingdom kids

Weekly recap

C.H.A.N.G.E.S

Inspiration..

SHE

Orang bawahan mula bertanduk..

A nice pic

Bila orang bawahan mula melawan...

Nasib org bawahan

a must see

shopaholic..

Trip 27-29 Jun

Teacher story - being sensitive

Pilgrimage part 2

Kisah 3 Beruang

Pilgrimage

Umrah

a d***n camp..

BIRO TATANEGARA

Misinterpretation

induksi..

TOLERATION AND MODERATION IN ISLAM

Puisi Pagi Ahad: Tuhan, Terima Kasih Memberi Kami...

Malaysians have spoken!!

we need to apologize

sekilas pandang..

We need to reform our system!

Death to Israelis!!

Son Of Mahmoud Zahhar Martyred Along With 19 Others In Zionist Massacre

to share something - and not 'picking side'

SPM invigilator

picking side....

KPM sucks!

Maybe I have changed..

A new voter

jane austen wannabe...crikey!!!!!

Interview untuk naik gaji!

tit -a - tat